So, I'm at the intersection. The light turns green for our side of the three-way intersection to go. I start to pull out. The guy on the left side of the intersection just floors it and takes off. Drives right through the red light he has, avoids the two cars turning left, narrowly misses me (as I was turning into the lane he was driving in), and just keeps going.
The funny things about this story:
1. As he swerved to avoid me I got a good look at him. He was doing a one-handed McCauley Culkin/Home Alone shocked look. Idiot.
2. My heart rate didn't even spike for a second. I took it completely in stride.
3. The guy next to him nearly went too-- I guess the first idiot was really convincing in his portrayal of "it's really green and we can go." Oscar-calibre!
3. I have yet one more piece of evidence that the life-lesson I learned when I was young, that I cling to when all else fails, and that has never let me down is still true: People are Stupid.
And a quick aside concerning stupidity: I said "I'd like a large beverage" (don't roll your eyes, M, you know that's how I talk) fairly slowly and clearly. The woman behind the counter repeated back to me, "You'd like a 6-piece chicken meal?"
Er, what?
*sigh
I've never met anyone who enunciates as you do. So for this person behind the counter to not understand what you said is just silly.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, you and Mare are the only two people I know who use the word "beverage" on any kind of regular or semi-regular basis. Maybe you confused her... maybe she doesn't know what a "beverage" is.
It's "drink". Come on, try it!
Glad you avoided the car accident :)
When I lived in a southern state for a while, I gave up going through the drive-through. I could never understand the greeting: ken I hep ya?, so how was I ever going to understand anything else said to me via a decades old voice box?
ReplyDeleteBut I also was stumped by "nano 3," which took about a year to figure out (it's 9-0-3, the area code).
There are challenges for those of us who use standard English as the basis for our communication with others.
Common numbers that I hear from Americans while I'm on the phone are fitty fi and the number wuh. I say Americans only because that's who I deal with on a daily basis and I've never heard those numbers within my own country! Hmmm... maybe we Canadians are missing a whole new numbering scheme. lol Shaking my head on those!
ReplyDeleteAlso, folks from Mississippi & Louisiana seem lost on the concept or idea of area codes. I mean we don't have 10 digit dialing (except for long distance) in this corner of the continent, but we're at least aware that the area code might be useful!
what, it *is* a beverage. perfectly good, commonly used noun for what you order when you wish to drink.
ReplyDelete*sigh* the mutability of linguistics.
I was at Starbucks the other day and ordered a medium decaf. The woman said, "Do you mean 'venti'?" I said, "I don't know. I mean that one [pointed]." Can't they just give in and call them small, medium, and large?
ReplyDeleteBTW, I still order a "Coke" at most places that hand me a cup, then go fill it with iced tea or diet pepsi. Here in PA people vary between "soda" and "pop," but we Cali-born people insist that all fizzy flavored beverages are "Coke."
And while I call my son "Jack" rather than "John James" and refer to liquid in cups as "drinks," not "beverages," people who have met my brother always remark on how similar our diction is. It must be the genes! (Further proof: My 8-year-old son speaks more clearly and has a better vocabulary than many middle schoolers...)
By the way, if you took the idiot driver thing in stride, you have been driving in LA way too long. You should have at least had heart palpatations, significant sweat, and swear words. Get out while you still have a soul!
ReplyDeleteGlad you didn't die.