Showing posts from May, 2005

Thursday Thoughts

I am tired. Tired of work, tired of being alone, tired of the state of the world, tired of people being idiots, tired of politics, tired of secrets, tired of lies, tired of truths, tired of being sick, tired of bills, tired of being tired.

I would like to take a vacation, but most of what I am tired of will still be with me on the vacation and will still be draining my soul even while I attempt to relax. And all of it will still be there when I return from vacation.

Everything is electronic and cookie-cutter and bland these days, which does not help.

I used to sit down and write a short story or a poem when I reached this level of dissatisfaction. Or I would sketch, draw, or paint something to take me away. But the sameness of things has even invaded my arts and everything I do seem puerile and stunted; as bland as what I see everywhere else. I have started three separate stories or ideas in the recent past and had each one just sort of slink away from me within a page or less of brainst…

Bowling Tournament Follow up

Steven, the gentleman who convinced me to bowl in the tournament I spoke about a little while ago (Reference here and here), just came by my desk at work and presented me with a check for $21.00. Apparently my team did well enough to move into 12th place, which was the last place to score money. Since most of us bowled well that day (and I bowled out of my mind!), it is nice that we were able to move into money.

Now, I spent $60 to enter the tournament, so this is obviously not the best return on my investment, but I cannot place a value on the experience I gained and camaraderie I felt that weekend.

Finding Neverland

Sometimes a movie (or book, or other creative work) expresses the truth better than the truth itself. It expresses it so well that people no longer remember the real facts and the movie’s truth becomes the only truth.

I just finished watching Finding Neverland. It is the poignant tale of James Barrie’s love affair with a family and how they inspired his greatest work, Peter Pan. Now, I am aware that the Barrie family has problems with the story and thinks it glosses over the realities as they know them.

What they feared, I’m certain, is that the movie would replace their history. And, with as beautifully made as the film is, I am sure they are right. Because, for me, it has. I now do not care about the circumstances of Barrie’s first wife leaving. I do not care about the circumstances wherein Barrie created Peter Pan.

What I do care about is that they got my vision on the screen. As a somewhat creative person, I have a hard time explaining to people how I see what I see. This movie shows…

Burger Heaven

I haven't eaten a hamburger from a fast-food restaurant in, well, I can't even remember when. Probably over a year or longer.

See, I had a bad experience a few years back. I ordered two cheeseburgers from In 'n Out and both appeared cooked, being brown and sizzly on the surface. I took a great big bite of first one, then the other, and found them both to be not only raw but also still somewhat frozen on the inside! No matter where I went from then on, the memory of that disturbing day colored my preference for a hamburger.

I have, on occasion, bought meat and made my own hamburgers at home. But these culinary delights, still very infrequent, were known to be thoroughly cooked.

Today, as I walked to my vehicle to go grab lunch, my tastebuds actually suggested that a burger would be good. I headed to the local Jack in the Box and got an "ultimate" cheeseburger and a breakfast Jack (love these!).

After liberally applying some taco hot-sauce to both, I took a great big b…

CNN on Relationships

Last night on CNN the moderator presented the following statistic: (paraphrasing) in cases where one or both partners committed adultery, got divorced from the existing relationship, and then married the object of their infidelity, 75% of those marriages ended in divorce.

What does this tell us?
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
People who believe the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence will continue to look in the next yard over after jumping the fence.
It is better to make it work with who you are with because cheating won't lead you to any more happiness.The moderator of the program ended with this: while men who are slightly to moderately overweight have about the same opportunities to cheat as more-fit males (which surprised me-- you always think of the young, fit people as those more likely to get offers), they are statistically much less likely to. One conclusion reached by researchers is that these slightly overweight men are much more statisfied in their ma…


I've never had a nickname. When put into situations that involve other Johns, I am always the one who winds up being "John" while the others gather the nicknames, pet names, or use their middle/last names. Because of this, I've always wanted a nickname.

The closest I think I ever came was back when Melanie used to call me "Mr. C" or "J.C." For awhile, my bowling team called me the Rock-- ostensibly because I was so steady and consistent as the anchor of the team. Of course, knowing that Dwayne Johnson uses that name professionally in his wrestling and acting careers makes it all the more amusing-- I am pretty far from the image he presents, as I am of average height and weight. We do have bald heads in common though.

I tried to convince people to use "Jaz." I liked this one and it had a simple explanation: It was the first letter of my first name and the last two letters of my last name. But, like all great nicknames, you cannot force one …


You never know when a realization will strike you. For some reason, yesterday I realized one of the primary reasons for the negativity in America: information overload.

We are all so interconnected by various mass media that we now know what is occuring throughout the entire world. More specifically, every single day and every single hour we have access to the violence, disasters, and economic woes happening everywhere.

Until the internet boom and the advent of 24-hour news outlets, people didn't know everything that happened in the world instantly. It could be days or weeks before news of a war in a foreign country would reach us. It would be even longer before the rumors of genocide would be unearthed. And, even then, only those circumstances of particular malevolence or interest to our country would get more than a blurb on the local news or in the newspaper. We were, in many ways, shielded from the woes of the rest of the world. This sheltered life allowed us to focus on our imm…