Home Again

Made it home. Had to get up at 4:30 am AST to get to flight on time. Had to endure the usual ripping out and eating of my heart that goes with having to leave my beloved. Our relationship will be super-human in strength if there is any truth to that "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" saying.

Only have one brief story to tell, involving changing terminals and customs in Toronto. The pen I was using to fill out the customs declaration form for the US ran out of ink. I had finished most of it, but couldn't sign it. The first woman trying to be helpful directed me into the non-US citizen's line, but I realized my mistake and got the second woman to give me better direction. (Aside: The really need to make that "US Citizens go here" sign bigger and maybe attach it to the ceiling so you can identify it). I finally get to the front of the line and to the agent and she takes one look at the form that is not completed (needs my signature) and she says, "I can't take this unless it is completed-- you've got to complete it and then go through the line again." To which I responded, "I can't, I only have a pencil and...." She cuts me off right there with, "Well you can stand over there and finish it. I ain't giving you my pen."

So, I move to the location she indicates, fish out my pencil, and complete the form (sign it-- everything else is done). She takes the next person while I do this, and then I cut in front once they are gone.

"As I said, I only needed to sign the card and I was done."

"Is this pencil? You can't use pencil."

With The Look, "You want it done, it is done. You don't want to give me your pen to finish it, it is finished in pencil. Is there anything else?"

She tries to give me The Look back, I'm not buying it or budging. "Okay, fine, sign it with my pen. But I better get it back!"

"Ma'am," I say, using my sweetest voice with my most irritated voice, "I'll sign it right here in front of you." I do. I then hand her back her sweet, precious pen and say, "Have a nice day" in a tone of voice that conveys that I really mean, "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on."

Not sure how I got away with that, and I fully expect I'll need a full-body cavity search the next time I go through customs, but she didn't even ask me any more questions after that little exchange. Managed to make it to my connection after the 15 minute rule, but they were nice and let everyone on as nearly 200 of the 300 passengers were similarly late.

There HAS to be an easier way, even with all the wholly ineffectual new laws and rules we have for airport security.

Anyway, I'm home, Caly is so happy she actually came out from under my bed covers talking like a baby kitten and is sitting next to me. I have my mail for the two weeks I was gone. And I'm really, really not pleased to be home, even if it is warm and sunny here.

*sigh