Runner's High

I never thought I would say this, but I miss running. I was a good runner. I could keep up with the sprinters and did okay with the distance people. I made for a good 400 and 800 runner in High School, and did well enough at college that I was asked to join the team. Not sure why I didn't.

There was a freedom to running. It was something that was all about you, and your shoes, and the road on which you ran. I actually earned a letter in track and field by running. I don't think anyone actually knows I lettered in track.

The arthritis makes it hard to walk, let alone run. With the new meds I'm on, most of my pain is gone. However, the damage done to the bones in my hands and feet is pretty bad, and you need your feet to run. Does not matter how good your shoes, there is a certain amount of stress forced on them by pounding the trail when running.

I had to give up softball, the last activity in which I could run, because of the pain. That still frustrates me. I wasn't that great at softball-- good at defense and pretty quick around the diamond, but just couldn't hit worth beans. But I did it with passion and exuberance and I got to run. And I was somewhat infamous for making circus catches in the outfield nearly every game. King of the snow-cone catch. I hated giving that up.

A new High School was built across the street from me. This HS has a track that would be easy to get to. I have to admit, I have frequent fantasies of buying a new, good pair of running shoes and hopping that fence some night and seeing how far I can run. The kid in me wants to know if I can still get around that track. He wants to see if I can reach that point I hit too few times where you feel like you can run forever.

But my intellect kicks in. It knows that is the last type of activity these poor feet need right now. Let the new meds do some work and hopefully repair some of the damage done. And even if the knees can take it, my practical mind tells me, can my battered knees keep up? They are shoddy construction at best. Been ridden hard and put away wet, so to speak.

I worry sometimes that my illness and my life and my job and my responsibilities are killing that kid inside who just wants to run once more around the track.

So, if you're driving on Bryant and you see some guy struggling to run around the track at the new High School, you can pull over and even watch. But don't interrupt him. No matter the pain or the fatigue, he's Peter Pan once more, taking one last flight around Neverland.