Thursday Thoughts

It is funny how much reinforcement can make the difference. At work, I was slacking a bit. I had a project that I did not care for, and was working with a group of people who were difficult at best. Because of this, I was not giving one hundred percent and knew it. My boss sensed it and she took me into her office and basically said, “John, I know you can do more and can work harder than this. How can I help?” We worked out some ways in which I could be better motivated to do those tasks and, when it recently came time for my mid-year review, I was given a good mark to go with what I had accomplished since that little talking to.

So, my boss gave me some reinforcement by suggesting I was not working as hard as I could and helping me to reconstruct my priorities so that I could, and followed it by giving me the at-a-boy I deserved for kicking it back into gear and getting back on top. Now I want to continue on this trend so I can continue to succeed.

I play a cooperative game called City of Heroes. Many people are down on “pick-up groups” because you never know what you are going to get when you throw your lot in with a bunch of strangers. My last pick-up group wound up being a very good one, and I got a lot of compliments because of the quality job I did in helping everyone out. I raced around making sure that anyone who got attacked was safe, I ‘aggroed’ as much to me as possible (even though I was not the tank of the group) so that those who were more easily hit and killed within the game did not have to suffer defeat. Not only did a few people publicly state that they thought I did a good job, but they also asked if they could put me on their friends list and team with me in the future. What great reinforcement and I am much more likely to team with those people again if they ask me for help.

When I am Dungeon Master for my group of friends, I like to provide additional awards to people when I feel they did a particularly good job roleplaying their characters. This positive reinforcement, I feel, makes them want to do that same good job again and those who do not get the award want to follow suit next time so they can get the bonus award. In this way, I get players who want to play the game the way in which I want to DM it.

If IT does something to help me out, I like to say “Thank you.” Many people do not, as they assume that IT is ‘just doing their job.’ That may be true, but if they do it well, quickly, and with patience, why not say “Thank you” or “You do really good work” to the person? It makes them feel good about helping you, reinforces their perception of themselves and the job they do, and is polite.

Compliments are also another way to provide reinforcement. When someone is looking particularly good or fashionable, I like to tell them so. By complimenting them, I am reinforcing their ego and their decision to go with that style choice. It makes them feel good.

I also find that when I genuinely reinforce someone else, I tend to perk up and feel better too. I do not get this boost if I reinforce someone insincerely, which leads me to compliment, thank, and reinforce only when I truly mean it.

So, my task to you in this Thursday Thoughts is to find someone who you feel genuinely deserves some reinforcement and give it to them. Compliment someone on his/her choice of clothing, hairstyle, or other notable change. Thank your teacher or your boss for helping you learn and grow. Thank that person who just helped you do something faster or better. Compliment that man who wore a tie today, or that woman who put on her business suit and looks snappy. Show your appreciation to your parents, children, or neighbors. Thank someone for the job they did well, even if it does not relate to you or what you do in the least.

I think you might just find that you feel even better about yourself and your day will breeze on by.