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I am Simulation John today. Here to move through John’s day as though John himself was here. John is, unfortunately, unavailable at the moment. He is experiencing a severe emotional upheaval in the wake of his girlfriend going home. It was more than he realized or expected, and he needed to upload me into his life for a day or two in order to gain perspective. I will be going through the motions for the real John until such time as his mind can process what is going on.

In my historical databanks, I see that John has been attempting to become more overt in his emoting since November 2004. As he has opened those gates, even a little, he has been surprised by the sheer volume of emotions available and willing to accost him at any time. I further note that his girlfriend is on record as saying she likes and prefers the “new” John – matter of fact, he is the only John she has known and this changed allowed him to be open to her in the first place- – and it is this positive reinforcement that allows him to continue his struggles with this aspect of his continued metamorphosis as a human being. However, minor setbacks and plateaus are to be expected, and this appears to be one of those times.

John made a record in my databanks that shows that he feels that these changes will ultimately prove successful and worthwhile. However, he is sometimes overwhelmed to the point where he inserts me into his life until such time as he can continue his evolution. Those times are coming less often, as he is getting comfortable with the new emotions he is allowing himself to feel and the rather steep price the mind and body sometimes pay for feeling them.

Apparently John forgot to upload the needed memory engrams and participatory interactive processes that would allow me to actually perform his job functions. I have been resigned to staring at a computer screen and occasionally opening and closing windows on the desktop for most of the day.

I do note that humor is usually the first emotion that trickles back into his life during one of these upheavals. As I see some (minor) evidence of that returning, hopefully John’s ability to cope is finally kicking in and he will be back shortly.

In reviewing the day’s events, I further note that when people asked John about his girlfriend’s visit, he did show signs of coping; perking up, lively interaction, smiling. A few comments in particular he saved to my RAM—a coworker who was introduced to said girlfriend commented that she was “even lovelier in person” than in her pictures or how he spoke of her. Another said, “I can understand why you are sad; she’s great.”

Time for me to proceed with a few minor icon movements. I may even defragment John’s work hard drive for him, so things are clean and nice when he returns. Hopefully he will back in the offices, ready to work tomorrow, and I can go back to the used computer parts box he stores in the closet. History suggests he will be happier and more alert once he gets to chat with girlfriend tonight. That is often a cure for what ails him.
Simulation John, signing off… for now.