Who Would You Be?

A few weeks ago my wife asked me out of the blue during a phone conversation which movie character I'd most like to be. She was, I think it is safe to say, surprised and amused by the reaction she got.

Because I didn't know.

For all the movies I have watched, and I have watched many movies, I do not have a character I want to be. For the next few days after that, I continued to regale her with possible characters I might want to be, but I never really nailed myself down to one in the end. I tried, but just couldn't do it.

I think she was expecting me to answer Superman. It is a true answer, and one I might give on a given day, but that is not a character I feel I could be. You see, when she asked that question, a whole host of qualifying questions and caveats immediately leaped to mind:

• Can I truly be the character in question?
• Should I answer who I think I can be or who I want to be?
• Is this my only choice, or can I say more than one?
• Do I only consider the character as a particular actor? If so, do I really want to be that actor and the character is superfluous?
• Am I just the actor in the movie, pretending to be the character for others to watch and get something out of the watching, or am I truly becoming that character?

For example, take Superman. As a character, he is interesting: only one of his kind left (not really, but was originally), a host of super powers, incredible moral fiber and the ability to act on that morality. Matter of fact, I would argue that the term "Man of Steel" does not refer to his body's immunity to damage but rather to his great moral compass and his ability to act on it whether or not it is the popular choice or legally correct. Do I sometimes wish I had that character's abilities? Of course. But could I, the person I am now, be Superman? I don't know. So I shy away.

I briefly considered Atticus Finch. However, while he suffers from some of the same issues as does Superman, he also has the problem in that there is only one person who is Atticus Finch in my mind: Gregory Peck. And, I am no Gregory Peck. To me, he is one of the epitomes of the acting profession and he just is Atticus Finch. I will always compare anyone who attempts to play the role to Peck and, frankly, they will fall short. This character has many traits and qualities that I aspire to, but I do not think I measure up well at this point in my life.

Then I thought of Chuck Nolan, the character Tom Hanks played in Cast Away. That is one great character; he is a survivor, overcomes his fears, and learns to take what life gives him and "who knows what the tide will bring". But this character led me to Saving Private Ryan and Captain Miller. And then to a few other characters that Tom Hanks played. Which leads me to think I wouldn't mind being Tom Hanks and that the characters are almost negligible.

Next are some other obvious ones that I think many people would pick: Captain Jack Sparrow, for his freedom and guile; Batman, for his ingenuity and resourcefulness (and his "wonderful toys"); John McClane, for his ability to overcome all odds, humor, and perspective; James Bond, for the gadgets, the cool, and the license to kill; Luke Skywalker, for the force or Han Solo for the cool; Indiana Jones, for his tenacity, intelligence, and morality. There are a whole host of characters that have good pieces, but could I be those characters? I just don't know. Each has an aspect or two that I respect, enjoy, or desire, but not a whole.

One that I thought I might like to be be is Lt. Exley, from L.A. Confidential. He's smart, egotistical, cunning-- all things I consider myself. He has a moral streak that is marred but strong. A strong possibility. Roux is another character I think I might like. A small character played by Johnny Depp in Chocolat, Roux is very comfortable with himself, assured, and knows what he wants. All attractive traits.

What about some of the flawed characters? Could I be Donnie Darko? V? Porter? Ripley? Leonard? Phantom of the Opera? Dracula? Lawrence of Arabia? Dirty Harry? While each character speaks to me in many ways, I just don't think I could be a flawed character like that. It doesn't speak to me, even if some of those characters are in some of my favorite movies.

So I continue my search. As you can see, I'm giving this question a great deal of thought and consideration.

I'm leaning toward a few right now:

• Bruce Banner/The Hulk: This character has always appealed to me. I like the dichotomy, as I am filled with them. I like that he is both a very smart man and powerful enough to affect changes. He doesn't have to take shit from anyone, which appeals to me on many levels, but is also kind, considerate, and able to create solutions. He has the two extremes of humanity in one package.
• Captain Jean Luc Picard: I personally find Picard the best of all Star Trek captains. He is smart, engaging, wise, a good warrior but a better commander, has a strong moral compass, but is flawed as well. I am thinking I may also be leaning this way because of Patrick Stewart, who is such a good actor, and because this character is bald-- as the sexiest of men always are. ;-)
• Dr. Archibald "Moonlight" Graham: This character has always appealed to me. He never really got his shot at baseball greatness and missed. So he became a doctor and helped his hometown for most of his life. Then, when given another shot at his baseball dream through Ray Kinsella, he takes it, only to be denied again when Ray's daughter is choking on a hot dog. He is so comfortable with himself and his decisions that he doesn't hesitate to stop being young and a baseball player to become old and a doctor. It is rare to find a character so at peace with himself and so sure of his place in the world.
• George Malley: I really like this character, even though he is played by John Revolting. He becomes smart, at peace, and accepting of his fate.

My current choices are a multiple personality disorder victim, a heroic captain, a bit character in a sports movie, and a man doomed to die from a brain tumor-- but is insanely smart (and somewhat telekinetic) until then. I wonder if those choices say anything more about who I think I am? Of course, the fact that this damn question has stumped me for weeks now says a lot already.

In the end, I guess the characters are part and parcel to the story for me. I get value and entertainment from the entire ensemble of the movie (direction, acting, story, editing, sound, etc.), so I find it difficult to put myself into the role or take myself out of the equation and become the character. I continue my search.

So, who would you choose?