It is now 4 am and I'm still awake. Decided to leave the bedroom and give up trying to fall asleep. No particular thing or reason; I just fall asleep for a few seconds to a few minutes and the -- bam! -- I wake up and that's that for a long while. The problem is that I'm so tired and my brain is fuzzy that it makes doing anything difficult, so it is not like this can be turned into productive time.
So, here I am, blogging. Can't tell you the number of errors I've made and corrected so far (that fuzzy brain again). Hopefully this will be at least a little coherent when others read it or when I read it again.
I imagine I'll fall asleep sometime morning-ish. Usually happens when I least expect it. Of course, when this happens during a work day, I have to persevere and work through it, which is hard. And gets harder with each passing year. I'm 37 now; staying up all night is not really on the agenda like it was in my 20s or Teens. Don't have the worthwhile reasons or the stamina of youth on my side. Matter of fact, there were multiple times in college where I was awake for upwards of 72 hours straight before crashing and I didn't think much of it. I was one of the most coherent and functional ultra-tired people you would run across during those stints. But these days I need my sleep. Still only really need between 6 and 8 hours of sleep, with 7 seeming to be about optimal for me most nights.
My head feels about 10 lbs heavier and my eyes are droopy and feel gritty. I'm exhausted. Why can't I fall asleep?
Addendum: Finally fell asleep around 6am and slept until a hair after 10am. Feeling quite a bit better now. Yay.
ReplyDeleteFollowed up yesterday with being awake until 5 am. Slept until about 11:30 am, however, which is likely to really screw up tonight. Hopefully the "reset" will happen soon and everything will snap back into place.
ReplyDeleteFor different reasons, I've experienced similar challenges during the process of buying my home. Sometimes I just couldn't sleep. I was tired, like you, but something inside of me was restless. I spent many weeks running on pure fumes.
ReplyDeleteI attribute this to deep stress (or perhaps in your case, excitement, or some combo thereof), when your life feels like it's coming unhinged. I think this is all related to your impending move, and may not totally let up until you've really got a good handle on all of the logistical details that remain to be worked out.
Since you presumably have a lot to get worked out yet (you're only just transplanting your entire life), I hope for your sake that I'm wrong.
-MBH