Sadism

There is something sadistic about the task of jabbing yourself with a needle once a week to self-medicate. I can only imagine how much worse it is for those who have to do something similar more often or something even more invasive. It truly makes me wonder how anyone can become addicted to illicit drugs that require injection.

While I do my best to focus on how good I will feel after the shot as the pain from my arthritis eases away and I become mobile, flexible, and able, the pain of the injector shooting the needle through my skin and the drug coursing into my flesh makes me hesitate. For those 15 seconds as the medication injects into my thigh (or arm or abdomen) it is hard not to tense up. But, of course, tensing those muscles or moving the needle during the process just causes more pain and discomfort.

I have a friend who is very afraid of needles; he winces when someone else gets a shot and hates to watch, so you can imagine how much he hates it when he has to have a shot or give blood himself. How badly would doing something like this affect his psyche?

Diabetics have to prick themselves multiple times a day so that they can test their blood. While it is a simple prick, just enough to cause bleeding, imagine for a moment that you had to do that -- make yourself bleed -- 1, 2, or 3 times a day. Any diabetics willingness to do this for years on end staggers me.

A friend has a device attached to aid the function of his kidneys. Another friend has something similar for his diabetes. Both have to deal with the shunt, with the awkwardness of wearing the device nearly (or actually) 24 hours a day. Imagine having to relearn your sleeping habits so that you can get rest with such a device attached to you. Imagine the embarrassment and discomfort of wearing these devices under your clothes, out in public, when you are trying to be intimate with your loved one.

Now, stretch your imagine a bit further to those who have cancer, HIV, or a similar disease that requires incredibly invasive medications and treatments. Imagine having to hook up to an IV daily, having the medications sap you of all strength and most of your willpower. Having it change your appearance and very being.

Imagine being a child of 4, 5, 10, or 14 and having to deal with any or all of these situations.

Western philosophy on medication and illness is one that is extremely aggressive toward the disease but tends to forget about the mental and physical stress those treatments can cause. In some cases, it is so aggressive toward the disease and dismissive of the patient that the treatment regiments are designed to kill the patient with the goal that the doctors can, with some luck and a strong will-to-live from the sick person, forestall the death long enough that the disease is destroyed or goes into remission. Then they can refocus their efforts on strengthening and healing the patient.

I am not proposing that Eastern (or other) medicinal practices are better, but they do take the entire person into account. If a person's mental or spiritual health are affected, non-Western medicine will take those aspects into account and will alter treatment accordingly.

As my leg warms up, the now-familiar bump at the injection spot turns red and rough, and I feel the medicines from the injection coursing through my body, I wonder if there is some other way in which I can achieve this type of pain-free life. I wonder how many more times I can relax my breathing and my muscles enough to keep the injection as simple as possible. I wonder if my mind and my soul will continue to accept this type of physical treatment 52 weeks a year, for many years to come.

I wonder.