It Wasn't Me

I sometimes view the spam emails I receive, especially if it makes it all the way into my Inbox, rather than being caught by my spam filter. Recently, these emails have specifically said across the top, “Based on your web participation and purchases….” The emails have tried to sell me feminine hygiene products, home mortgages, penis enlargement/enhancement products, weight loss products, and, accounting for the bulk of them lately, high-end watch knockoffs. And, of course, sex; it is somewhat amazing how blatantly some spam emails sell outright sex. I was unaware there were so many women in Orange County so desperate for sex they were willing to whore themselves out via the internet. It is generally considered a strong church-going, Republican stronghold in an otherwise Democrat/liberal leaning state.

 

Now, I have done NO shopping for, nor any sort of web participation in, any sort of feminine hygiene, home mortgages, weight loss, or knockoff watches. And I happen to like the size of my penis—it has served me well for many years now. Lastly, do you really think that, if I needed sex, I would want to have sex with someone who advertises through spam emails?

 

If there was any truth to the “based on your web participation and purchases” line, I would like to inform them that there data mining program is malfunctioning. Or I’m getting someone else’s spam. However, we know that there is no data mining and that the emails have nothing to do with your web habits; it is just the latest gimmick trying to get you to read and respond to what is sent. It is yet one more bother in a world and society that is increasingly bothered by the unwanted.

 

Sometimes I think emails should be charged. Even if we charged $.001 per email, the average email user across the country would only be charged about $1 a year (that would be for 1,000 emails). But these companies that send out 200 million spam emails would be charged $200,000—that would quickly make it unprofitable for the majority of spam/bulk emails to invade our homes.

 

Another way to do it would be to have the option to say all email address are disallowed from sending to my account at all. And then you add the email address you want to allow. No spam filter, no bulk email folder—if you aren’t on the list, the email doesn’t even go to your account. Period. Yes, it would be harder to set up, and would take more time and effort to maintain, but I think I would move to that email account if I could find one with that option. Then, even if well-meaning friends inadvertently use your personal email address or they get hit with a virus that steals their address book, emails from unknown accounts simply wouldn’t get to you.

 

I can dream.