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August 26, 2005

Single and (not) loving it

I had an epiphany at the grocery store just now. I am a single man and I'm not happy about it.

On my way home from work I stopped by the Postal Annex in the grocery store mall to send a gift to a friend. After the woman behind the counter remarked how amenable I was to all her suggestions on the best methods and packaging for said gift (to which I just smiled and said "thank you"-- I couldn't help but think, 'why argue or discuss something so trivial?'), I was walking back past the grocery store when I realized two things; my cat needed a new bag of food and I was jonesing for some ice cream.

So I heading in and bought... cat food and ice cream.

I had three separate women and two couples give me that patronizing smile as they saw me walking through the grocery store with cat food and ice cream. The disparity in the items and the fact that those were the only things I was purchasing just screamed "Single Male" to the world. I then compounded it by going to the self-check out counters (another single male bastion, although others are starting to use it finally). I even got an "Aww" from one girl who was walking past me to the next self-check counter with her boyfriend and their bag of ice. At first I thought she might be saying it about some baby someone had in my area. Nope. Then I hoped she saw the cute kitty on the bag. No, that was on the other side. She was looking straight at me and giving me that same, rueful smile and shake of her head. Her boyfriend just sort of grimaced at me.

When women go into the store and buy what I would consider odd combinations of items, why don't we give them the same patronizing smiles and rueful head shakes? Why is that reserved for men? Are we really that inept in our lives? (don't answer that)

*sigh

I don't want to be single any more. I want to be in a relationship, preferably a long-term one. I don't want to be the 3rd, or 5th, or 7th wheel at friendly gatherings. And, frankly, I'm tired of being the one who can drop everything and go out with my friends because I'm unattached. I want to complicate the hell out of my life and have someone to share it with.

I'm not rich, but I make a solid living. I tell good stories, I am usually pretty funny, and I'm attentive and interested. I'm pretty adaptable. I've got skills, and tools, and the brains to use them. Looking for a woman who wants someone with the above qualities. Must be a non-smoker and non-drinker (or light drinker) preferred.

2 comments:

  1. you know, if i was still single and saw a guy buying cat food and ice cream (teasing aside), i'd think that was a good guy. here's why: ice cream, not too hung up on dieting (me neither), and a cat, so clearly able to care for something other than himself.

    if other women can't see that too, they're not the ones for you. but that person is out there. :)

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  2. Man, I'm married and it's not uncommon for us to go to the grocery store, but granola bars, skillet sensations, and milk. then use the self checkout to get out of there.

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