Asked and Answered

Imagine you know how to sew by hand. You have been sewing this way since your parent taught you and, while not an expert by any means, you feel confident with a needle and thread. You have rarely, if ever, used a sewing machine, however.

Now you take this expertise somewhere where your superior asks you, "Can you sew?" You reply strongly in the affirmative. However, what they thought they were asking was 'do you know how to use a sewing machine, all of its attachments, and features?' Your answer to the question asked is completely accurate, honest, and true, but it does not answer the question the boss thought he/she was asking.

The boss, thrilled with your answer, then asks you to perform a task, "I need you to sew the buttons in this jar onto these outfits by lunch time."

After the boss leaves, you pick up a needle and thread, and you get to work. You sew buttons the way you have always done them. You sew them as fast as you can, and you get the job done within the allotted time frame. However, when the boss returns, he/she exclaims, "I thought you knew how to do this? If you didn't know, why didn't you ask me? I would have been happy to teach you how to do it."

You are shocked and more than a little chagrined. You were asked to do something and you did it to the best of your ability and within the time required. There was no question in your mind, so why would you ask the boss a question? All of a sudden, you are in a situation with stress, possible contention with your boss, and maybe both feeling and looking a bit foolish. No matter how gently your boss, coworkers, or whomever broaches the subject, you are at a loss because you have been honest with them and answered all of their questions to the best of your ability. And no one can fault you, per se, for it; they asked questions that didn't lead to the information or answers they needed.

Sometimes this happens in real life, especially in new jobs or when working with new people at an old job. For example, I am a technical writer. This in no way means that I am infallible as a writer or that I know every nuance of every application that I use to perform my job. If I run into someone who knows more about a particular application than I do, they may ask me to do something using that application that I have a "work around" solution for, but which could have been done faster, more efficiently, or simply better another way. But I DO know how to do what they asked and how I did it worked and is repeatable. My way is not wrong, it just isn't the way they would have done it.

Or you are new to a job or have been giving new responsibilities. You are asked to do something that you are sure you know how to do. You get well into it before you realize that your way of doing it isn't working as well, or you feel like you are wasting a lot of time. At this point, you go back to the person who gave you the job and ask questions. They now ask that same question, "If you didn't know, why didn't you ask?" The problem is, you thought you DID know, so there was no point in asking... at the time. Even if you go to them at the first sign of trouble, that question may dog you.

In my experience, it is rarely the person asking the question who takes any responsibility for the answer you give. It is always the other person, the one who tried to do it the way he/she understood or learned to do the task who is at fault. Imagine how much different both the boss and the employee would feel if the boss said, "Your way worked, but I can show you a way that is simpler and easier and will save you time in the future." They are acknowledging that you sewed those buttons on and that the job done will work, but also allowing you to know that there are other ways and building camaraderie with you by offering to teach you the new technique. Win-win for both sides.

I don't know exactly where I am going with this, except maybe to say that sometimes the question you ask is not the question I am answering.