They Don't Build 'Em Like THAT Any More

M was home today, so we ran some errands. One of those errands was finding and purchasing some book shelves at Home Depot. These shelves had the color that M likes, were five shelves high (6'), and they had a few of them on hand, so we could get two that matched. And the price was fairly right at $65; we wanted them for the basement and didn't mind having lower-quality particle board and veneer down there, or that they wouldn't match with the other book shelf we already owned. Win-win, or so we thought.

We finished our errands, carried the shelves inside, and I set to work building the first one fairly soon after. These shelves were of the IKEA style, put-it-together-yourself variety. As it was using the same style of attachments as my computer desk, I didn't worry about it-- I knew how strongly those fasteners could hold.

Nearly immediately I recognized I was going to need assistance, so I called M down to the basement and we set to work. She kept me honest with the directions (which I was struggling with) and lent a hand with the picking up and holding of things as we attached them to each other.

We got through the main steps, had only the backer board left to attach, and decided it would be best to stand it up to nail that on. We very carefully stood it up and immediately every single screw came ripping out of every single screw hole. Large chunks of the press board came off around each screw. The thing was so wobbly with the screws barely attached to anything and the large chunks of missing press board that, and I kid you not nor do I use hyperbole when I say, when M set the single sheet of paper on which the instructions were printed on the "permanent" shelf, it came completely unattached from the side boards and fell with a crash and took the bottom shelf/brace, which was barely holding on, out with it. As M said, "That was just like a cartoon or a comedy show-- no one will ever believe us!"

Lest you think we're completely inept, both M and I have separately and as a couple put together a variety of similar "Sauder-style"/IKEA-type furniture. We have experienced various of the more common issues with this type of furniture purchase, including missing parts, extra parts, ill-fitting joints, and the occasional particle board issue. However, neither of us has seen every single screw rip out of the particle board in every single attachment location all at the same time. It was like the particle board was intensely dry and powdery and the small amount of screw threads that were used were not enough to really get into the meat of the board and hold fast.

Needless to say, we packed it all back into the box, decided not to even try putting together the second book case we purchased, and immediately headed back to Home Depot to return them both. Luckily, Home Depot has virtually a no-questions-asked return policy, so returning the two were easy. However, now we are still without book shelves for our copious quantities of books. Oh well, we'll start looking for some new ones tomorrow.

And we got a full refund on the purchase, even though we bought a third item (a new smoke alarm). The girl didn't pay close attention and just refunded the full amount to us. So, bonus.