I Just Don't Get Suicide

I simply do not understand suicide. While I have been fairly low at certain times in my life, especially dealing with chronic health conditions for years, I have never once even contemplated taking my own life. For as cynical as I am, for as world-weary as I act, I am basically a fairly hopeful person, and I'm sure that helps.

What I do not understand about suicide is simple: as long as there is life, there is hope. As long as you are alive, there is the chance for something to change, to evolve, and new opportunities to come your way. If you are dead, those chances are gone. Zilch.

Suicide, to me, seems like an awfully selfish act. You are, in my eyes, telling your friends and family, your coworkers and acquaintances, that they are have nothing to offer you, they have no hope of understanding you or your state, and that they cannot help you in any way whatsoever. Actually, you are actively taking away their chance to help you, and leaving them with nothing but regrets, questions, and anger. I guess I have an incredible set of friends and family, coworkers and acquaintances, because I simply know that they can help me with anything that comes along. And they have, repeatedly. And I have helped them whenever I could.

Suicide seems like an awfully lonely act, too. You do not often hear of a suicide committing the act in front of another person or a group of people in an intimate setting. I guess, on occasion, some people commit "suicide by cop," or drive the wrong way down a highway until they hit someone, but those seem rare to me. Most suicides go somewhere lonely, away from others, and do it quietly. I would even argue that those who go into public to commit suicide are the closest to being stopped, or the least convinced (subconsciously) that the act is the right thing to do, because they are surrounding themselves with people who might talk them out of it or physically stop them. Why else go into public where any number of people can stop you?

The vast majority of the world holds Judeo-Christian/Abrahamic beliefs, being predominantly Christian or Muslim. Throw in Jews and the various "Unitarian" style religions (that predominately follow Judeo-Christian belief structures) and you have approximately 55-60% of the entire world's population covered. And in every case, suicide is considered one of the most dire of sins. (Yes, even in Islam. Look it up.) Hinduism is also negative toward suicide, feeling that it is without purpose, and it makes up approximately another 13% of the world's population.  How is it that so many people still commit suicide when their belief system tells them not to? How could people in these low points of their life not seek out their religious leaders and ask for help, when they know that their religion frowns on these acts (at best) or considers it something that will cost them their eternal reward (at worst)?

No one who knows me well would accuse me of empathy. There are certain emotional reactions and situations that I simply do not understand and have trouble "getting." Yet I've had a couple of friends who have said that I "saved" them from their lowest points. Neither said the word suicide, but it was strongly implied. Apparently my strong conviction in life, in change, in opportunity swayed them to hold on a while longer and something positive happened. I once had a teacher tell me that an off-hand comment I made to him caused him to rethink his direction, lose over 100 lbs, get into better shape, and get a much better attitude.

I guess my point here is that you never know where that life-changing, mind-altering affirmation of YOU is going to come from. It might even come from that totally-lacking-in-empathy friend/acquaintance you have who has totally missed any and all clues that you are low and sinking lower. It might come from a close loved one, a bumper sticker, a religious intervention, or from a strange, unexpected other source. But, if you aren't there to receive it, it will be wasted. Why not hold on and see what's around the bend?