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September 29, 2009

The Question?

I've recently run into a spat of women who all speak every sentence as though it is a question by raising their voice at the end. My first thought is that anyone who does this is unsure of themselves, but then the last two to do it were experts in their field and were providing me with their expertise; both came across as intelligent, assured, and accomplished women, yet every single sentence sounded like a question.

I'm not sure how women get into this speech pattern, but it is one that happens to annoy me to no end. The last woman with whom I spoke was a doctor of veterinary medicine and was helping me with a mild issue M and I had discovered with our cat (nothing to note here; we just wanted some advice). Literally every sentence this woman uttered to me during our 10 minute phone conversation sounded like a question. While she was obviously smart, caring, and knew her stuff, during and after the conversation I was left with a feeling inadequacy over her answers as the questioning lilt of her voice made me wonder if she was making it up as she went along. Intellectually I know better, but emotionally that is how I respond.

A recent woman was providing me with assistance and I felt like she didn't know what she was talking about whenever she used the lilting question voice. When getting assistance, I want someone who is assured and confident and tells me what is what, not who is questioning what is going on and expecting me to provide the answers -- at least, that's how it sounds when everything is a question.

I am left to wonder what causes women (I have never run across a man who uses this particular speech pattern) to use this method of communication and how we can stop it. It makes otherwise smart and interesting women to sound like inconsequential and unassertive.

1 comment:

  1. In my professional contacts, it is the same question asked a hundred times: "What do you want me to do?" that drives me crazy.

    I've been listening for the uplift at the end of sentences, but I don't hear it, so I wonder if it has to do with regional speech patterns. It is challenging to believe that so many women lack confidence and overtly express that through a speech habit, but perhaps no one has ever pointed out to the women the perception it creates in those who converse with them.

    Of course, pointing it out would be a job/relationship killer.

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