Questions

I few years back I developed a philosophy about people. I noticed in my own life and those around me that a specific question word tended to be the main reasoning behind many of our decisions. I started really paying attention to the people around me and found that I could see it happening on just about everyone.

Here, then, is my philosophy.

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Premise
Each person has a Primary motivator driving his or her life which takes the form of one of the six question words. Secondary motivators are one to two of the remaining question words, and often switch due to stress or circumstances in the person's life. The remaining question words are tertiary; they are motivators only as circumstances dictate and always after answering the primary and/or secondary questions.

Primary Motivators
As we were likely all taught in grammar school, or from Sesame Street, the primary question words are Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How. Here is how they operate:

Who - People are your primary motivator. You prefer interactions with others over tasks, issues of time or space, or wondering how or why something is the way it is. Your first response to most situations or circumstances is to find out who is going to be there, who is doing what task, or who is involved.

When told there is a party Friday night, you are most likely to ask first, "Who is going to be there?"

What - Tasks, items, and the concrete, are your primary motivator. You prefer the concrete over personal interactions, issues of time or space, or wondering how or why something is the way it is. Your first response to most situations or circumstances is to find out what is going to be involved or what tasks need to be accomplished.

When told there is a party Friday night, you are most likely to ask first, "What will there be to do?" or "What's going on?"

Where - Location/space is your primary motivator. You prefer to think spatially rather than about the tasks, personal interactions, time, or how or why something is the way it is. Your first response to most situations or circumstances is to find out where you need to be (physical location) or where you are going (personally, professionally, etc.).

When told there is a party Friday night, you are most likely to ask first, "Where is it?"

When - Time is your primary motivator. You prefer to think more abstractly about the past and the future, oftentimes to the point of ignoring the present. You prefer to reminisce about the past or envision the future over the concrete, personal interactions, where something is, or how or why something is the way it is. Your first response to most situations or circumstances is to find out when you need to be there, when it is happening, or to think about how it fits into your schedule or about past events or circumstances that were similar.

Note: People motivated by "When" are not people who are concerned with today. People who "live for today" or who focus primarily on today and rarely worry about the past or future are always motivated by one of the other question words as their primary motivator.

When told there is a party on Friday night, you are most likely to ask first, "When is it?"

Why - The reasons behind events, behavior, or circumstances are your primary motivation. You prefer to think about the underlying reasons more so than about the concrete, time or space, personal interactions, or how something is the way it is. Your first response to most situations or circumstances is to delve deeper and figure out the reasons behind the events or situations. You like to know what makes things (and people, events, situations, etc.) "tick."

When told there is a party on Friday night, you are most likely to ask first, "Why now?" or "Why a party?" (Also, "What's the reason for the party?")

How - The states and conditions of things, or the underlying method to something or that someone uses, is what motivates you. You prefer to think about the conditions of the events, people, and circumstances in which you find yourself over the concrete, time or space, personal interactions, or why something is the way it is. Your first response to most situations or circumstances is to find out how it makes you and others feel, or what conditions are present and may affect those involved.

When told there is a party on Friday night, you are most likely to ask first, "How is that going to affect our plans for Saturday?" or "How are we going to get everything ready in time?"

Note: How is an uncommon motivator. It bears traits with both Who and Why and often can be confused with them. If you are tending to be more concerned with the person involved than how they are doing or feeling, you are more likely a Who than a How. If you are more concerned with the underlying reasons for something than the state of it, you are more likely a Why than a How. If the underlying method of doing something or the end-result of the activity or circumstance is most important to you, then you may be an How.

Concrete versus Abstract
Who, What, and Where tend to be a more "concrete" or left-brained, logical, or analytic approach to the world. Why and How tend to be a more "abstract" or right-brained, creative, or even haphazard approach to the world. When can be either abstract or concrete, and often is both.

However, do not be confused or think that more logical people will fall into one set of questions or another. While these are the tendencies I have observed to-date, there are enough people who are a logical Why or How or a creative Who, What, or Where that no hard and fast rule may be applied in this philosophy. For example, while you can make a reasonable assumption as to the creativity of someone you don't know well but who seems to qualify as a Why or a How, you should also not be surprised if they turn out to be logical and analytical.

Secondary Motivators
The question motivators do not exist in a vacuum. Each of them swirls around in each person and different stresses or circumstances will cause certain additional questions to motivate us at different times.

That being said, I find that most people have usually one question word, in addition to their primary motivator, that seems to pop up more often than the others. After they appease their primary motivator, this is the next most important concern they need to have addressed before they can continue or that allows them to continue on once started. This is the person's secondary motivator. Sometimes a person may find two secondary motivators, one which occurs mostly when they are at ease and without stress and another that takes over at times of stress. So far, I have found this to be somewhat unusual; most people have a single secondary motivator that crops up in most circumstances.

However, the definitions and examples given above remain valid for the secondary motivator.

For example, I am a Why primary. The most important thing for me to know is why I am doing something. Without that answered, I find it incredibly difficult to start or proceed with a task or situation. Once I have resolved that for myself or been provided it by the person giving me the task or circumstance, I can start going. If I'm unstressed and feeling good, I usually next ask What. I shift from the Abstract of the "Why" behind something into the Concrete of "What" I am doing. However, in times of stress, I shift to a "How" motivation. Once I know why I'm doing the task or circumstance, I need to stay in the more abstract and find out what states or conditions apply, what methods I am going to use or ignore, and what my end result should be. This tends to make me good at working in structured environments with high-stress issues, but poor in working in unstructured environments without due dates or with poor procedures.

Gotchas!
Be careful of some of what I like to call "gotcha" questions.

If you ask, "What time is the party?", you might think you are asking a What question. But it is obvious that the time is the motivating factor. The motivating factor behind the question is the primary concern here, and the English language has some fairly complex ways of asking questions that can make it look like we're asking one thing, when we're really asking another.

How and Why questions can often start with a the word "what," for instance. "What can I do to solve this problem?" is a complex question that has many possible motivators to it: are you really asking about the task you can do to solve the problem (What motivator), are you asking about the underlying reasons behind the problem and trying to delve more deeply into it (Why motivator), or are you truly concerned with the method used and underlying conditions that apply to the problem (How motivator)?

My best advice is to "go with your gut." Even if you try to out-think yourself by asking yourself overly complex questions, your gut or instincts usually know what you're really asking. Try simplifying. Whenever an overly complex question comes along, break it down and search for the motivator that appeals the most to you on an instinctual level; go with your first instinct or first impression, it is much more likely to be right.

So, if you have the "what can I do to solve this problem?" question, you should break it down or think about your motivation: is your immediate reaction an image in your head of you doing something? Then you are probably motivated by what. Is your immediate first reaction question why are you doing it? Then you are probably motivated by why. Is your immediate first instinct a quick list of the methods you are going to use? Then you are likely how motivated.

Simplifying the complex and going with your initial first impression are both your friends. Use them!

Putting it to Use
So, how does this philosophy work in the real world? How does knowing this information help you to lead a better and/or more productive life?

If you know what motivates you, you can eliminate stresses in your life by seeking out the information you need to help you move forward. If you can make reasonably accurate guesses about the motivations in those around you, you can help ease stress in your life by providing them what they need (which eases stress in their life).

Getting What You Need
First, determine which is your primary motivator. Think back to times at work. When your boss came in and yelled at you about that project, what were your first thoughts:

• "Is he blaming me?"
• "What is he talking about?"
• "Where does he get off acting like this?"
• "When did this happen?" or "When can I explain what happened?"
  
• "Why is he so angry?"
• "How can I solve this problem?"

Also, what were some of the first questions or statements that you made to him when it was your chance to speak?

• "Who can we put on this project?"
• "What can I do to make it right?"
• "Where can I get the right information/people/etc.?"
• "When is it due?" or "When do you need it by?"
• "What has changed with the project/with the client/etc. to cause this reaction?"
• "How can I fix this for you?"

Simplify the situation and pay close attention to your first instinctual reaction to it. Then think of another, maybe less stressful circumstance and ask yourself what were your first thoughts about it at the time. Remember a time when you were stuck and couldn't proceed with a task or project; which question did you keep asking yourself until, once you got the answer, you finally could proceed.

Once you have a pretty good idea into which category you fit, you can start to seek out that information as projects and circumstances occur.

For example, the next time you are in a meeting at work and given a project to do, you could ask specific questions immediately (as appropriate) to gather the information you need to start the project with less stress:

• "Who wants to help me with this?" "Who can I get approvals from?" "Who can I use as a resource?"
• "What tasks are appropriate to use to accomplish this project?"
• "Where can I get the data/information to assist me with the project?"
• "When is it due?" "Are there any intermediary due dates?" "What time/day do you need it by?"
• "Why are we doing this?" "Why does the client need this change?" "Are there any underlying factors that I should know about?"
• "What steps should we take to finish this project?" "Are there any hidden circumstances or issues I should be made aware of before I start?" "How would you like me to proceed with this-- do you have anything you specifically want me not to forget to do?"

Giving What They Need
You can use the same methods to determine what others need. When your boss comes in to talk with you, is he primarily asking about your family and friends? Is he trying to make a personal connection with you? Is he always staying focused on the task at hand? Is he asking you why or how you are doing something, and what you are doing seems inconsequential? These and other observations can help point you toward what motivates those around you.

Once you have a firm grasp of what motivates a person in your life, try providing it.

For example, let's say you have determined your manager is a Who. Every time you speak with him, he is asking about the people in your life. He is concerned with who is going to meetings and who is going to lunch. So, the next time you need help with a project, you shift out of your motivating factor and start the interaction by asking about his family or friends. You ask about his most recent vacation, or simply ask "How are you?" and actually listen to the reply and ask questions about the answer. Once those pleasantries are done, and he has likely asked you about something in your life, you can shift back to the task at hand and ask the question you need answered. You may find he is better able to focus on the task, more willing to help or provide feedback, and is more positive about your interaction.

On the other side of things, when the same boss comes to yell at you about something, it is imperative you pay attention to the questions he starts with or continually comes back to; if it is a who related line of questioning, you likely need to provide him with a who (i.e., "I worked on that project," or "I was part of a group with X, Y, and Z and we came up with that slogan," etc.). I'm obviously not suggesting you should be a tattle-tale, or commit political suicide by saying things at work you shouldn't, breaking confidences, or anything of the sort-- but a person with a who motivator is not going to let something go until he gets a who response. So think about how you can provide him with that interpersonal communication he wants in addition to the motivator questions that will appease your needs.

For example, maybe you allay your need first, by asking him what is wrong or how you can help, or why the situation has come to a head (whatever you have decided is your motivating question). Then, as he answers, you have time to think of a who response to help his needs and allay his issues. "You know what? Let me talk with Sally and Joe about this and we'll figure out a solution for you and get back to you. Before I do that, though, weren't you on vacation recently? Did I hear that it was a fishing trip?" This gives him three defined "Who" people, you, Sally, and Joe, and it offers him a chance at the interpersonal he needs as a Who person. He will likely leave your desk happy knowing who is working on the issue and be calmer because he talked about his vacation trip to Cape Cod.

Conclusion
By using the knowledge of your own motivators and looking for the motivators in others, you can reduce stresses in your life by seeking that information which you need and providing the information that others need in a timely and effective manner.

Not Easy

I knew things wouldn't be easy when I moved here, but some things I certainly didn't expect to be the issues they have become. Take my truck, for example. I knew I had to pay to export it from USA and import it into Canada. I knew I had to get it inspected and approved for use in Canada. But I didn't expect it would be such a hassle.

The Registrar of Imported Vehicles (RIV) sent me an email that they couldn't determine if my vehicle had any recalls against it. Before they would release my inspection form, I have to go through Saturn to get a form that says either there are recalls and I've taken care of them or that there are no recalls. Once they receive that, they will release form and allow me to get it inspected.

Now, this letter/information is not something that you can just get from your local Saturn. You have to go through Saturn Corporation to get it. First I contacted a Saturn rep via the My Saturn website and spoke via their direct IM with an actual person. She told me they could no longer provide that information via that service, so she provided me with a phone number to call Vintage Vehicle Services.

I called the number and the nice woman there told me that she could not help me, but that Vintage Vehicle Services could help me, and provided a number. I called that number and the nice lady there also informed me that Vintage Vehicle Services could help me and she had not just one, but two numbers for me to call. One of those connected me to a nice lady who, in fact, works for Vintage Vehicle Services. I described my circumstances and she knew exactly what I needed. She also informed me that there would be a "small fee" for the service, as they no longer provide them for free. I gave her my wife's fax number at work and waited to hear from my wife.

M informed me she had received the form and that the charge was $260! Small fee my ass.

But, until I can get this cleared through RIV I cannot get my car inspected, and I only have 45 days in which to get that done, so I have to pay it. So, I have the form filled out. M will take it to work tomorrow and get that faxed off and yet another charge will be added to the overall cost of moving.

As my mother would say, "This too shall pass."

Easing On Down the Road

A big thank you to my mother, who drove all the way from California to New Brunswick to help her son out and get him moved to where he wanted to be. She put up with my wild mood swings, incredible stress levels, and a lot more during the drive. But we made it in one piece and I couldn't have done it without her.

The moving in process is taking time. I think M would like it to happen much faster, just because she hates all this change and randomness that is occurring with my move, but intellectually she also knows this will all take time to sort out.

I've started calling and making arrangements for various issues; I was sort of thinking that all the paperwork was involved in getting here and that I wouldn't have to do much more once I arrived. Not so. I have to get a SIN, my PR (green) card, my vehicle inspected and registered, I may have to get a new drivers license, we have to work on Medicare, and, I'm sure, a host of other items I'm not even remembering at this moment.

And the little things-- like a BPass for the bridge so I don't have to physically pay $.50 each time I cross it. And keys to her vehicle for me and keys to my vehicle for her. And finding locations for all of my stuff. Moving her stuff around or possibly even getting rid of some of it to make more room. It is remarkable how much my 5x8 trailer of stuff is changing the house and the immediate environment!

But, we are trying hard to take things one step and one day at a time. We aren't stressing over doing too much at a time. Instead, we are emptying a box here and there, deciding what we will do next, writing lists of projects and plans, and moving forward.

On tap for this next week: M will get my truck serviced (got all 3,000+ miles needed for next service in one 1-week trip!) including having them check/replace the transmission fluid and look at the axle and ball-joint and re-grease as needed, she'll stop on Tuesday and get me a BPass for the truck on her account. In the near future: a new local bank account for me, getting a few more boxes unpacked, and maybe buying some shelving for all of our books, DVDs, CDs, etc.

And so our married (and together!) life begins anew.

Going, Going...

The days have been a blur.

I have been working like a fiend to pack, plan, prepare, and prioritize my trip from here to Saint John, NB, Canada. All the time I am also dealing with literally a score of people wanting to know what is going on, exterior forces that have their own agendas (mostly business people who don't seem to realize that I need them NOW), and juggling my emotions.

As of today, the apartment is pretty far along the path toward being packed up. I still have a lot of work to do tomorrow, of course, but it is far along. The hitch is on the truck (even if the ball was installed upside down on the ball assembly), damn near every scrap of food is gone from the apartment, the closets are empty, and all of the furniture except the PC desk is gone. Some of these became adventures that made the steps trials in their own right.

I picked up a TomTom GPS for the trip, to help us get where we're going safely, and for my first few months (and maybe longer!) in Canada, as I won't know my way around very well. TomTom has maps of most of North America, so it will work in both places. And I can upgrade the maps if needed.

Tomorrow is going to be pressure-packed, as we are determined to leave on Tuesday, June 10th. I need to get my car serviced, finish packing, call a few places, mail an important document, and get that trailer held for Tuesday. Oh, and update the front office of my apartment of the new date I will be leaving.

The first step of the journey may be a little one; depending on how long everything takes tomorrow and Tuesday morning, we may only make it to Desert Hot Springs before stopping and resting. We may make it to Chris' house in Scottsdale, AZ. We may make it farther. But Tuesday is the day we're scheduled as long as I can get an appropriate-sized trailer and everything else is done.

I've spent days getting all of my personal items updated with appropriate addresses, tentative dates of leaving, etc. And then there was Caly; I won't go into that decision any further, but I am missing her.

So, I'm somewhere around 36 hours from possibly leaving the only area I've ever known for the great adventure that is married life, Canada, and the east coast of the continent. To weather and ice hockey. And, of course, living with my wife.

Some time tomorrow, my PC will go dark for around a week. During this time, I will not have any access to email, my blog, Facebook, or any other PC-related communication. We will keep M informed of our stages and she will keep you abreast of our status. Wish us luck that the trip will go smoothly and uneventfully.

R.I.P.

I talk a good talk. I say, "I will only spend so much on my pet. I can always get another pet."

But I don't walk the walk.

Living in the desert, pet death is a fact of life. Our family has had more than one pet run over by a car, be poisoned by haters or insects/arachnids, run afoul of the wild dogs and coyotes that roam freely, or just go missing one day and you don't know what became of them.

I thought I had something lined up for Caly, tentatively, until she was diagnosed with diabetes. It was always a tough sell to any person or organization to take an obese cat with a history of UTIs and a little, tiny bit of "bad behavior" thrown in. But the diabetes was the end. No one wants a 10 year old cat, no matter how cute, that may pee on things, and has to be given injections twice a day, monitored, and given a special, more expensive diet. That was a killer. And I simply felt that moving Caly, at her age and with her conditions, to a brand new environment in Canada, with all the issues of getting her medically cleared to cross the border, was not a viable option. I considered it many times over the last few months and weeks in particular, but I kept coming back to that.

Over the last week I have been trying harder to find someplace with a no-kill rule to take her. But none would, because of her age and the preexisting conditions. So today I called back my vet. Jenny, at the front desk, did her best to be kind but basically said the vet wouldn't do it unless I checked some last minute other locations. I tried them-- same deal. Not with diabetes. None of the pounds would take her without the threat of euthanasia due to her age and the existing condition.

I have called almost 10 different places, places on top of the others I have tried over the last week and even earlier, trying to find someone I could give my cat to who would just take care of her until she was adopted or died on her own.

When all that failed, the vet reluctantly agreed to perform the euthanasia.

I talk a good talk. Saying, "It's just a pet. I can go down to nearly any shelter or, hell, drug store, and pick up a replacement today!"

But I don't walk the walk.

The very short drive to the vet was long. I was fine up until the woman at the reception desk to whom I had not yet spoken (the other two were on the phones when I arrived), asked, "So who is this and what can we do for you today?" She, of course, said it in a very cheery tone.

"Calypso and ...," I nearly lost it right there, "and ... euthanasia." I'm very happy her face turned dour and sad. I was stroking Caly through the opening to the cat carrier, paying special attention to her eyes and the spot by her ears she likes so much. Only cat I have known that loved being rubbed right on her closed eyes. By the time the receptionist very quietly gave me a copy of the euthanasia form and I paid the bill, I could barely speak. In a voice heavy with sadness and with a face that was on the verge of tears, and I'm sure was white as a sheet, I said -- I did not ask -- "It will be quick and painless."

"Yes," she replied quietly.

"Then I have to leave now," I said before I lost it altogether. I walked somberly to my car and sat there for a few minutes.

Oh, I talk a great talk, but I can't walk the walk.

I am sad beyond measure that, as of right now, this minute, the cat who has been my constant companion for the last 10 years is not here to curl up in my lap and purr. And I wish I had learned how to properly cry so I could get this OUT already and be "done with it." I'm sitting here with a red face, the urge to cry, tears in my eyes and more waiting, and a slightly runny nose, and I simply cannot let go enough to let it out. My chest hurts from the emotion and simply don't know how to make it release or come out or go anywhere.

And I'm not allowing comments on this post because I'm afraid someone will say all the right things ("It was the best decision," "It had to be done," etc.) or the wrong things ("Did you think to try X," "Well maybe you could have done Y," etc.) and I simply don't want to hear it, okay? Because, frankly, when all is said and done, this was my decision and, like all decisions I make, it was made with the best available information, for the best possible reasons, and included what I thought was best for all parties involved, including my beloved cat. I made what I thought was every reasonable attempt to find another answer to this situation and it came up empty every time.

And I'm simply going to have to live with that, accept it, and move on, no matter how hard that is.

Because I talk a really great talk, but I simply cannot walk the fucking walk.

The Eyes Have It

I just found my baby book. One thing I found very interesting is that, according to my mom's notes, I was born with bright blue eyes which then turned "pure brown!" (with an underline on brown).

This surprises me as my eyes are now very definitely hazel-- mostly greenish, with brown mostly around the very outside, and some gold flecking throughout. They can become more brown with certain emotions and more green with certain emotions, but there is not a trace of blue at all and the brown is definitely not something to be underlined and exclaimed over!

If the eyes truly are the window to our souls, what does it mean when the window changes so dramatically? What does it mean when the window continues to change?

The First Hitch in the Plan

I ordered a hitch for my SUV through UHaul, which at the time had a great price. However, it turns out that it was back ordered and wouldn't ship, I find out today (6/2) until next week... which is fine except my plans are revolving around leaving around the 9th or 10th.

I went back to another site that had them and they are having a $10 off sale for today only, they have lowered the list price for the exact same hitch to under what UHaul was selling it for, and they claim they are in stock. So I pulled the trigger on that purchase, and got the entire thing, plus the ball assembly, for about $30-40 less than the same order from UHaul. If it ships today or tomorrow, I should have it by the end of this week.

So this means I may not get out quite on the original schedule. However, mom has cleared her calendar of the issues she had so we both have no plans for the foreseeable future. If we don't get out right away, who cares?

I have canceled all of my utilities for the 19th, which is the day the apartment complex expects me to be out by. So even if I have to stay longer, I am fine. I am continuing to cancel services and provide new addresses or updates today so I can rest assured that everything will start showing up in Canada or at the PO box in Maine and I can continue to receive what is mine.

After yesterday, I am also taking it a bit easy. I'm very sore in all the wrong places today, even after a hot bath last night. This old body just isn't as good at moving, lifting, and carrying heavy objects as it once was. I'm getting old!

Pomegranate Lemonade

When I was visiting Costco a while back, one of the trial people had a refreshing new product from Minute Maid: pomegranate lemonade. I like pomegranates (one of the few people I know who does) and I enjoy both pink and yellow lemonade. I also like cherry and raspberry lemonade, on occasion. So I gave it a try.

I was surprised by just how refreshing and thirst-quenching it was.

My local Albertsons got it in recently and I purchased one. I drank the entire 1 quart jug over the rest of that day, I was enjoying it so much.

The flavor is at first sweet and then a little tart. It definitely tastes like you are drinking lemonade, yet you also have the sweet fruitiness of the pomegranate. Neither flavor is overwhelming, and both seem to be competing for your attention as the liquid flows across your tongue. And, most importantly, when I finish drinking it, I don't feel thirsty any more (something that has never happened drinking water and rarely happens with other beverages to a satisfying degree).

I had mentioned it to mom, so we went to Albertsons to get some. I noticed as we walked past the ice cream section that they were still completely out of the large-size of Haagen Daaz Chocolate (they haven't had it any of the last four times I've been there-- you'd think the delivery person would get smart and say, "no one is eating these other flavors, but the chocolate is always sold out. Maybe I'll bring more chocolate." But you'd be wrong.). When we got to the rear of the store and checked the cold drinks section, they had plenty of the same flavor Tea, but I hate tea.

We found something else for mom, and then we drove to the Ralphs nearby. They not only had it, but it was nearly $2 cheaper per bottle. So I got two, and mom sampled some of one (the sugar content is just a bit too high for her to drink a full glass with her diabetes). She was impressed with the flavor and seemed disappointed she couldn't have more. I proceeded to have two glasses right then, and am now having another glass some hours later.

I think this beverage may become my drink of choice for the long trip across the country upcoming. Certainly seems a lot better for me than sodas would be.

Packing Up

Although it was her birthday, a fact that my very preoccupied mind had all but forgotten until my wife reminded me a few days ago, my mother came down today prepared to work. She arrived around 8:30 am and we immediately went to breakfast at Denny's (I prefer IHOP, but the one across the street sucks donkey kidneys and the other closest one is down by work, so I don't go to that one too often from here). We were back and ready to start work by about 9:30.

We started in the garage, just because we were already downstairs. First we got the not-a La-Z-Boy recliner that has been in the garage for about 5 years and wheeled it over to the garbage bins and threw it out. Next I confirmed the vast majority of the boxes were empty and awaiting use. Three boxes were left with stuff that I need to go through. There are some other items that need to be gone through, but those should be faster/easier. We put the really old, solid metal air compressor into her truck (heavy sucker!) which I had completely forgotten dad had given to me a few years ago. I would have liked to take it with me, but what do I really need with a 30 year old compressor?

We next got the armoire cleaned out (I had the majority of clothes out of it already, but the top had effects on it and there were some remaining clothes items inside) and we hauled that down to beside the trash bins. Mom convinced me not to throw it away and she was right; not long after putting it down there it mysteriously disappeared into someone else's home.

Next we cleaned off the remaining couple of things and got the big bookcase downstairs and next to the trash bins. It took much longer, but that, too, has mysteriously disappeared from the area.

The next item was the white bookcase in the front room. I had cleared the bottom two shelves but had not worked on the top or first shelf. So we cleared that junk off and then I worked on getting the case unstuck from the carpeting. Around this was one of the areas that Caly had "chosen" and the urine had, I was unaware until today, glued it to the carpeting. Very disgusting, but we got that down and we threw it away immediately. While someone may be able to use it, I couldn't in good conscience leave it out knowing that someone may have allergies or a sensitive nose and would take it and have issues.

The last item was the small love seat/couch. We took it down and a gentleman happened to be walking by who offered to assist us. He and I got it thrown into a different bin. This couch is covered in cat hair, was 10-years old when I got it from a friend at work, and had a bunch of cat scratching on it; if the dump-scroungers want to salvage it, so be it, but I wasn't going to leave it out for someone here.

We then finished her time here by tidying up here and there, making room, and cleaning some of the more egregious spots on the floor.

With the room we gained, I now have an area one inch smaller than the internal dimensions of the trailer I want to use marked in my bedroom. Well, actually the one I want to use and the one I think I will have to use. I am moving my boxes and bins into that area trying to determine realistically what size trailer I need, knowing that I am also going to use the back of my SUV to haul my more important items (my important documents, electronics, PC, etc.).

The bedroom is now mostly disabled. I have a few more books and one more bookshelf unit to get rid of. The closet in there is mostly done, but still has some stuff I have to get packed or ready for Goodwill.

My front room is looking a lot better, now that the couch and bookcase is gone. I do not plan to take my PC desk with me, nor the entertainment center. I now feel fairly confident that if I put them down by the bins, someone may find them useful.

The only known casualty along the way seems to be my brand new role of masking tape. It was on the white bookcase, I moved it off and, I thought, onto the bar. However, it is nowhere to be found. I've gone through all the new boxes we created, looked over everything we did, retraced my steps for the day as it relates to the apartment, and that role of masking tape is gone. Weird.

Another Reason to Hate Cell Phones

I went to bed at about 10:30 Saturday night. Wasn't particularly tired yet, but could tell I was heading that way. Figured I watch a couple of cartoons or comedies and then go to sleep. Go through one, and fell asleep sometime shortly after 11.

At 2 am my cell phone decided to turn itself on and start beeping at me to tell me that it was running out of power. I heard it three times before my soggy brain was able to discern what it was and where it was coming from.

I find it very strange that the phone wastes battery power to tell me it is nearly out of power.

Unfortunately, I was unable to successfully get any more sleep after this. I tried for well over an hour, and then got up and did some things. Even chatted with my wife once she logged in at work. I then went back to the bedroom and tried for another hour to sleep, but failed.

I managed to nap a little, off an on, during the Memorial Day NCIS marathon on USA, but never slept for more than 1 episode. I have a splitting headache and an upset stomach. I have a sore throat. I think all of the sickly feelings are just from not getting my needed rest.

Hopefully I'll get better rest tonight and be up for the trip to Goodwill I plan to make. I also have some phone calls and some other errands to run.

"Just Trying to Make an Honest Living"

I have heard a number of people say that illegal immigrants are "Just trying to make an honest living." If that is true, why are they here illegally? There is nothing honest in breaking the laws of this country in order to make that "honest living."

I have absolutely no problem with nearly any number of legal immigrants of any race, color, or creed coming to America. But I do have a problem with those who come here illegally. For me, I see it as a simple legal issue: if you break the law, you go to jail (or the equivalent, depending on the law). In this case, you get deported. If you are breaking the law, you shouldn't receive items and services that are intended for law-abiding individuals.

Why does my respecting the laws of this country make me racist in the eyes of those who support those who do not respect the laws of this country? I am respecting the laws of Canada in my attempt to get into, stay in, and get work in that country. Would the people who say I'm racist for my law-abiding ways here fight to protect my rights in Canada if I moved there illegally, took a job from a qualified Canadian at a lower wage, and took advantage of their medical services? Somehow I doubt it.

I will grant you that in my area the predominant number of illegals are Mexican. There is a small minority of Asians who come here illegally, and most other races and ethnicities are such a small percentage as to be negligible. However, I'm for all people of all races and ethnicities coming here legally, following the laws, and getting the advantages that those laws afford them. I continue to not be in favor of anyone breaking the law in general and this country's immigration laws specifically. I am not anti-Mexican. Nor am I anti-any other race or ethnicity.

I am, however, against anyone breaking the law. And, for me, this illegal immigration issue is simply that; people breaking the law. I do not consider the jobs that supposedly wouldn't or couldn't be done if those illegals weren't here. I don't consider how much we are allegedly spending on health care for illegals. I don't care about any of the other arguments, for and against, that many people make about this issue. Currently, how they are here is illegal, and I am against people breaking the law. Simple, straightforward, and with no deeper meaning.

Comic Strip

I wonder how Jim Davis is spying on me and Liz. It is a little frightening. At least he is changing our appearance in his comic strip. I mean, anyone who knows us knows this is pretty much how all of our conversations about clothes go. ;-)

Who Would You Be?

A few weeks ago my wife asked me out of the blue during a phone conversation which movie character I'd most like to be. She was, I think it is safe to say, surprised and amused by the reaction she got.

Because I didn't know.

For all the movies I have watched, and I have watched many movies, I do not have a character I want to be. For the next few days after that, I continued to regale her with possible characters I might want to be, but I never really nailed myself down to one in the end. I tried, but just couldn't do it.

I think she was expecting me to answer Superman. It is a true answer, and one I might give on a given day, but that is not a character I feel I could be. You see, when she asked that question, a whole host of qualifying questions and caveats immediately leaped to mind:

• Can I truly be the character in question?
• Should I answer who I think I can be or who I want to be?
• Is this my only choice, or can I say more than one?
• Do I only consider the character as a particular actor? If so, do I really want to be that actor and the character is superfluous?
• Am I just the actor in the movie, pretending to be the character for others to watch and get something out of the watching, or am I truly becoming that character?

For example, take Superman. As a character, he is interesting: only one of his kind left (not really, but was originally), a host of super powers, incredible moral fiber and the ability to act on that morality. Matter of fact, I would argue that the term "Man of Steel" does not refer to his body's immunity to damage but rather to his great moral compass and his ability to act on it whether or not it is the popular choice or legally correct. Do I sometimes wish I had that character's abilities? Of course. But could I, the person I am now, be Superman? I don't know. So I shy away.

I briefly considered Atticus Finch. However, while he suffers from some of the same issues as does Superman, he also has the problem in that there is only one person who is Atticus Finch in my mind: Gregory Peck. And, I am no Gregory Peck. To me, he is one of the epitomes of the acting profession and he just is Atticus Finch. I will always compare anyone who attempts to play the role to Peck and, frankly, they will fall short. This character has many traits and qualities that I aspire to, but I do not think I measure up well at this point in my life.

Then I thought of Chuck Nolan, the character Tom Hanks played in Cast Away. That is one great character; he is a survivor, overcomes his fears, and learns to take what life gives him and "who knows what the tide will bring". But this character led me to Saving Private Ryan and Captain Miller. And then to a few other characters that Tom Hanks played. Which leads me to think I wouldn't mind being Tom Hanks and that the characters are almost negligible.

Next are some other obvious ones that I think many people would pick: Captain Jack Sparrow, for his freedom and guile; Batman, for his ingenuity and resourcefulness (and his "wonderful toys"); John McClane, for his ability to overcome all odds, humor, and perspective; James Bond, for the gadgets, the cool, and the license to kill; Luke Skywalker, for the force or Han Solo for the cool; Indiana Jones, for his tenacity, intelligence, and morality. There are a whole host of characters that have good pieces, but could I be those characters? I just don't know. Each has an aspect or two that I respect, enjoy, or desire, but not a whole.

One that I thought I might like to be be is Lt. Exley, from L.A. Confidential. He's smart, egotistical, cunning-- all things I consider myself. He has a moral streak that is marred but strong. A strong possibility. Roux is another character I think I might like. A small character played by Johnny Depp in Chocolat, Roux is very comfortable with himself, assured, and knows what he wants. All attractive traits.

What about some of the flawed characters? Could I be Donnie Darko? V? Porter? Ripley? Leonard? Phantom of the Opera? Dracula? Lawrence of Arabia? Dirty Harry? While each character speaks to me in many ways, I just don't think I could be a flawed character like that. It doesn't speak to me, even if some of those characters are in some of my favorite movies.

So I continue my search. As you can see, I'm giving this question a great deal of thought and consideration.

I'm leaning toward a few right now:

• Bruce Banner/The Hulk: This character has always appealed to me. I like the dichotomy, as I am filled with them. I like that he is both a very smart man and powerful enough to affect changes. He doesn't have to take shit from anyone, which appeals to me on many levels, but is also kind, considerate, and able to create solutions. He has the two extremes of humanity in one package.
• Captain Jean Luc Picard: I personally find Picard the best of all Star Trek captains. He is smart, engaging, wise, a good warrior but a better commander, has a strong moral compass, but is flawed as well. I am thinking I may also be leaning this way because of Patrick Stewart, who is such a good actor, and because this character is bald-- as the sexiest of men always are. ;-)
• Dr. Archibald "Moonlight" Graham: This character has always appealed to me. He never really got his shot at baseball greatness and missed. So he became a doctor and helped his hometown for most of his life. Then, when given another shot at his baseball dream through Ray Kinsella, he takes it, only to be denied again when Ray's daughter is choking on a hot dog. He is so comfortable with himself and his decisions that he doesn't hesitate to stop being young and a baseball player to become old and a doctor. It is rare to find a character so at peace with himself and so sure of his place in the world.
• George Malley: I really like this character, even though he is played by John Revolting. He becomes smart, at peace, and accepting of his fate.

My current choices are a multiple personality disorder victim, a heroic captain, a bit character in a sports movie, and a man doomed to die from a brain tumor-- but is insanely smart (and somewhat telekinetic) until then. I wonder if those choices say anything more about who I think I am? Of course, the fact that this damn question has stumped me for weeks now says a lot already.

In the end, I guess the characters are part and parcel to the story for me. I get value and entertainment from the entire ensemble of the movie (direction, acting, story, editing, sound, etc.), so I find it difficult to put myself into the role or take myself out of the equation and become the character. I continue my search.

So, who would you choose?

Thunder

It has rained most of the day. Late morning it got particularly hard and then it tapered off around noon or early afternoon.

And it was then that the thunder started.

Normally, thunder is something that rumbles for a few seconds and fades, or cracks loud and grumbles slightly. However, this afternoon, I could hear the thunder rumbling from the north, heard it come directly overhead and it last over ten seconds (I had time to actually check the clock and count) and was low, loud, and close enough to shake the floor of my apartment. It then rolled its way further south, and lasted for another about 10 seconds doing that.

And then it did it again, about half an hour after that. And again, another hour or so after that. Each of these was not nearly as long as that first, long, rolling, loud one, but each was noticeable and distinctly longer than expected.

It was very unusual, and a little frightening. Thunder like that gives rise to the belief in God's or gods anger; Zeus quarreling with his brothers and sisters, Thor giving chase to the Midgard Serpent, Quetzalquotl taking his revenge. This was not, however, the most frightening thunder I have ever experienced. That is reserved for an evening in my college days when Chris and I were at the Stater Bros on Kendall and a bolt of lightning and a crack of thunder hit the same parking lot. We could feel the electricity in the air, feel the concussive force of the energy as it knocked us back a step and set off all the car alarms in the area, and were momentarily deafened by the huge crack of thunder. It was so strong that some carts left in the lot started rolling on their own.

It has remained overcast and a little damp, but for the last two hours or so it has not been rainy or thundering in this area.

Death (and Leaving) is the Thing

NOTE: Spoilers for season finales involved.

So, I'm watching the series finales of many of my favorite shows. And I start seeing the same themes repeated:

1. CSI - Warwick is shot in the head at the end of the show.
2. CSI: Miami - New medical examiner gets all of three lines and then is shot in the head. The episode ends with Horatio Caine being shot and possibly killed. And Ryan seems to be involved (or maybe even the shooter). Just a few episodes earlier the original medical examiner leaves.
   
3. NCIS - Jenny Shepard is killed in a fire fight in a diner and Gibbs' team is separate and sent all throughout the military and he is handed three new files for his new team.
4. Bones - The big mystery of who Gormagon is is totally wasted on a horribly written episode that sees Zack turn out to be the Apprentice and some no-name guy who is easily taken out being the Master. Zack is sent to a mental hospital.
5. House - Amber is killed and House and Wilson's friendship may be over in another horribly written show (well, the first half was awful and the second half was better -- and what happened to the strong characterization? Everyone, but especially 13, seemed to be acting totally out of the character set in previous episodes).
6. Numb3rs - Megan leaves and Charlie loses his clearance and the ability to work on most FBI projects.
7. Criminal Minds - Each member of the current team gets into an identical SUV and then we cut to an SUV blowing up. The cliffhanger is that we don't know which team member(s) was killed.
8. Smallville - This soap opera has the apparent death or dismissal of most of its main characters (Kara is in phantom zone, Brainiac was apparently killed, Lana "went away" (yay, finally), Chloe is arrested as a terrorist, and Lex and Clark have the entire fortress of solitude fall on their heads). I guess they will change the name to "Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen"?

Out of the majority of shows I watch, nearly all of them ended with mysterious deaths and/or dismissals of people. Come on, TV executives and writers, be more creative! One of the things I like the most about the new shows Life and Burn Notice is that both had opportunities to take the safe route and both avoided that each time. I just hope the writing is as good when they return. But most shows seem to always take the safe, easy route.

The most disappointing was Bones. This show is primarily about the characters, how they interact, and their chemistry. This season finale blew all that out of the water by having nearly every character except Booth acting in strange ways that were atypical for the character's development over the last three seasons. And to wrap up the entire Gormagon storyline in about 15 minutes at the end of one show and have it be Zack and some unknown guy? Dumb. Hopefully they were just either a) clearing the ongoing storyline so they could move on to better things or b) this entire thing is a red-herring and the very good writers will explain this totally stupid episode in a way that makes sense and will explain this aberrant episode away.

The best of these shows was the two-hour NCIS finale. This one involved all of the characters staying within character, had emotional depth, and made sense with the ongoing issues presented throughout the season. I fully expect the fact that the three main supporting characters were re-assigned and Gibbs has new "probies" to work with will be ameliorated next season.

Niche Market Movies

Speed Racer Follow Up

In a recent post on the movie Speed Racer I mentioned how poorly I thought the movie would do. Little did I realize how vastly overstated this very, very poor review and statement about how quickly the movie would be gone from the theaters would be!

Speed Racer managed to only bring in a little over $18.5 million on its opening weekend, and has tallied less than $1 million per day over the weekdays (for a comparison, Iron Man has been averaging between $3 and $5 million per day on the weekdays since release). In its second weekend, SR managed a little above a tepid $7.5 million. It currently stands at a paltry $24.3 million after two weekends and one week.

The production budget is claimed to be around $120 million for this movie, but estimates are as high as $250 million. The marketing money is estimated at between $50 and $100 million, so we're looking at this movie maybe having cost up to $350 million to make and release. They haven't even made 10% of that amount, if true.

I knew it was niche, I just didn't know quite how niche it was.

Sex and the City

Now here comes another niche-market movie. This one has three things going for it:

• Counter programming toward women in this male-dominated movie season.
• A set market of women to cater to.
• Women tend to be the drivers of the biggest successes in movie history.

However, I have a strange feeling this one won't do well either. Or, at least, won't be the huge success that movie bosses want. And Les Moonves will be able to say he won't make any movie starring women again.

Here's why I think this:

• While the idea of counter programming is a great one, you have to counter with a program that men want to see to. Women are a great key to making a movie a huge hit and making lots of money, but it has to be something that they can realistically drag their boyfriends and husbands to. This movie is tracking over 80% negative by males. Plus, when counter-programming, you have to post your movie against movies that skew only male. This one will be going against Iron Man, which has already proved that women like it; Indiana Jones, which has a very strong, universal appeal; is coming out after two already failed counter-programming movies (Made of Honor and What Happens in Vegas) didn't grab the same audience this movie is shooting for; and a few previously released and about to be released kids movies, to which it is typically the "mom's job" to take children, sucking at the movie budget of the family.
• The set market of those who liked the TV show of Sex and the City is incredibly small. It may be smaller than the niche market that likes Speed Racer (which has a base audience that is at least 30-years in the making), but certainly is not the basis for much more than a strong opening, and then a drop of 60% or more in week two. Sex in the City was on HBO, had good but not great numbers when compared against standard network hits, and continues to do mediocre on cable TV in reruns.
• While women tend to be the drivers of the movie business, it is typically men who make the decisions on what is seen. They make this decision based on the women with whom they are going to the movies, so it has to be something she wants to see and/or that he is willing to go see with her. Titanic, for example, was huge because women wanted to see it repeatedly and men enjoyed the effects and the action and the sinking of the boat. Spider-Man 1 and 2 became huge hits because men liked the character and the action/fights, while women could relate to Mary Jane and her unrequited love. Sex and the City was a show that few men watched and the numbers are tracking horribly for the movie when it comes to males.
• A lot of women don't like this show or these characters. My wife, for example, doesn't care for the show and hates Sarah Jessica Parker. Quite a few other women in my life either don't like the show, don't like the characters, or don't like the actresses in Sex and the City. So few of these women are going to go, cutting directly into the core audience the movie is shooting for.
  

So, I see it this way:

1. Sex and the City will open decently, at number 2 behind Indy's second weekend (I'm guessing Indy will make between $40-50 million second weekend), and probably in the mid-$30s from all the fans of the original show.
2. It will quickly drop down the list as the following weekend Kung-Fu Panda opens and the children will want to see that and Indy will still be going strong after only two weeks in release (this one being the third weekend), so Sex will likely make about $10-12 million the second weekend.
3. The weekend after that one sees The Incredible Hulk open and all the males will swarm in that direction, so I'd guess by that time Sex will be taking in scraps, around $5-7 million.
4. All told, I would estimate this movie will pull in around $50-$55 million domestic.

That may be good enough for a modest "hit" depending on how much the production and marketing campaigns cost. And this guesstimate does not include the foreign gross, which may be about the same amount or slightly less than the domestic, making this close to a $100 million movie. But I don't think this product will play well outside of English speaking, liberated countries (might do okay in Britain and Australia, and maybe France, but not in Japan, China, Spain, South America, etc.).

Edit/Note: After writing this I went to RottenTomatoes.com and checked. There are only four reviews for the movie so far and three of them are negative and one a luke-warm positive. If this movie doesn't get very positive reviews, my estimates will be high in this post.

Now, the race is on to see how inaccurate John is on this movie estimate.

Favorite "Bad" Movies

We all have soft spots for movies that are otherwise not considered "good," "valuable," or that are critically or commercially panned. For some reason, something about the movie speaks to us, or it reminds us of a certain point in our lives, or for some other reason we just make a connection to it.

Some of my favorite bad movies are:

• Brewster's Millions: Fairly standard story of a man who offers his offspring a small sum of money in his will-- or a much, much larger sum if it he can spend all of the original amount in X number of days. The twist here is that the old rich white guy is giving the money to Richard Pryor. Pryor had better movies, but I just get a kick out of this one. I love some of the decisions Brewster makes in how he spends the money and the earnestness with which everyone plays their role. John Candy is very good in a smaller role here, as well.
• The Replacements: I'm not a huge fan of Keanu Reeves or most sports films. Both of them tend to be trite and simple. However, I simply like this film. It is a fictionalized retelling of the strike season in the NFL, with Reeves being a never-was college QB who proves capable of taking a bunch of rapscallions to the playoffs and turning them into a team.
• The Saint: Movie version of the TV show of a Bond-like super thief who uses disguises and subterfuge to get what he wants. This one stars Val Kilmer in a role I thought he was perfect for; engaging, used his talents as an actor, and showed very good chemistry with Elizabeth Shue. I think this one would have done much better had it been released at a different time.
• Groundhog Day: I'm not a fan of Bill Murray or Andy McDowell, but both hit just the right notes in this movie about a guy who lives the same day over and over.
  

These are just a few of my favorite "bad" movies. I have many others that I like and watch nearly any time they are on TV but which didn't have good box office or receive critical praise.

What are some of your favorite "bad" movies?

Another One

This dream took place in my old house in 29 Palms and involved the world using undead zombies (as opposed to voodoo-style, living zombies) as menial workers, ala the end of Shaun of the Dead or Fido. For some reason, I discovered some sort of carrier wave signal coming in across the radio waves, which were imparting some free will and intelligence to the zombies. However, and how cliche, no one would listen.

Of course, until it was too late.

The signal imparted a need to break free and attack their captors to the zombies, and we went from overcoming and enslaving slow, shambling zombies to fighting large packs of intelligent zombies that worked together. People were not used to this, so the initial onslaught caught many humans unaware and they were ripped apart.

I had to run around, hide, and occasionally fight for my life. Running and hiding were difficult because the zombies were smart and were hunting the humans using the same reasoning skills as the human beings were.

I was rudely pulled out of the dream when the stupid moving people arrived this morning, bright and early, to start moving one of my upstairs neighbors. I had just been found in my current hiding place by a female zombie whom I knew, vaguely, and was fighting for my life, beating her over the head with a stout stick that I found nearby.

Weird Dream

I have very vivid, involved dreams.

The one last night was about me working for a large corporation. My products were no longer being used and one particular woman was eliminating a lot of positions, mine included. On my last day there I hooked up with a man who was working on a way to burst and send Morse Code for a special scientific project. I wound up helping him out, he liked me, so he hooked me onto his project.

When I got to work the next day, I had to go through orientation again, just in the building he worked in (which was across the quad from the building I had worked in). The woman (seemed to be played by Brooke Shields, only she could really act) and her assistant worked there and she was not happy to see me there. However, I had a legit job so there wasn't much she could -- for the moment.

This is where it got weird. While helping the scientist out (who looked a bit like William Hurt), his burst sending system started acting weird. While we troubleshooted the problem, people started winding up missing. Then they would return acting differently. I saw one of them and it was a techno-organic replica of the original person. I warned the scientist and he started organizing a resistance to these creatures. He asked me to help out with the resistance and go get the building's security. I found a couple who were on their way up and convinced them to help me. They told me all the other guards were either dead or turned. For defense we had specially designed lances that were the equivalent of arc welders that burned at around 4500 degrees Kelvin on the tip (this temperature was specifically stated to me by one of the guards right before he was disemboweled by a tech-org thing and we all had to fight it off and kill it) -- to which I said the ultra-heroic "well, that aught to melt through those soulless bastard's hides."

Then began the cat and mouse game of trying to determine who were techno-organic beasts and who weren't, killing those who were, and getting up from the ground floor back to the highest levels of the building where the scientist was trying to work on some things he felt would turn the tide and shut them down.

At one point I ran into the woman and her assistant (who was played by Brent Spiner), and I managed to, very graphically and in a lot of detail and slow-mo work, shove my hand and arc-welder rod/torch up into his chest cavity and ram the burning tip into his brain. This was very Manga/Anime inspired, with tons of cords, wires, plates, and writhing, moving parts inside. He was able to detach and transform his lower jaw for some reason I didn't immediately identify. While I did this, the woman got away. I woke up as I stood in the large atrium on one of the upper floors as I was deciding whether to go after the woman or continue on to find the scientist and hope he survived and had figured out what was going on.

I woke up a little out of breath and a bit tired. All that running up and down the staircases and through hallways of this large building tuckered me out. I feel almost like I need a nap to recover from my night's rest.

Origins

I have done some new research into my father's family. I recently rediscovered some of the information provided to me by an aunt (or a second, or third, cousin or some such) who had looked into it.

• It appears the "Z" was, in fact, intended to be there. The way my great grandfather signed his name has it in every case. There have been some rumors/stories that it was possible the Z was a mistake, added due to my great grandfather's flowery way of signing. Doesn't appear to be true from the copy of the wedding license and naturalization papers I have.
• The accent appears to be over the E. It is an acute accent.
• My family has a patent. My great grandfather patented an Acetylene Torch Generator to help his work in the coal mines of Pennsylvania. I have a copy of the patent.
• There is a story that my great grandfather bought his and his family's freedom from the near indentured-servitude of the coal mines. The info I have says he contracted Black Lung disease and retired to Michigan on disability.
• It appears the family comes from Aosta Valley in what is currently Italy. Here is a link to a Google Maps page of that valley:
  
  View Larger Map
• More on the Aosta Valley.

We don't know much of anything about the family before my great grandfather came over at the turn of the 20th century. We know that my great grandfather had a brother who went back to the Aosta Valley shortly after the family came here. We have first names on my great grandfather's mother and his mother's mother, but nothing more than that. It is like we don't exist prior to his coming to America!

I need to contact my Uncle Martin on my mother's side and see if I can get a copy of his notes on the other half of my family lineage. He's done extensive work on that and has it going back for hundreds of years, I've been told.

I Hate This

It is now 4 am and I'm still awake. Decided to leave the bedroom and give up trying to fall asleep. No particular thing or reason; I just fall asleep for a few seconds to a few minutes and the -- bam! -- I wake up and that's that for a long while. The problem is that I'm so tired and my brain is fuzzy that it makes doing anything difficult, so it is not like this can be turned into productive time.

So, here I am, blogging. Can't tell you the number of errors I've made and corrected so far (that fuzzy brain again). Hopefully this will be at least a little coherent when others read it or when I read it again.

I imagine I'll fall asleep sometime morning-ish. Usually happens when I least expect it. Of course, when this happens during a work day, I have to persevere and work through it, which is hard. And gets harder with each passing year. I'm 37 now; staying up all night is not really on the agenda like it was in my 20s or Teens. Don't have the worthwhile reasons or the stamina of youth on my side. Matter of fact, there were multiple times in college where I was awake for upwards of 72 hours straight before crashing and I didn't think much of it. I was one of the most coherent and functional ultra-tired people you would run across during those stints. But these days I need my sleep. Still only really need between 6 and 8 hours of sleep, with 7 seeming to be about optimal for me most nights.

My head feels about 10 lbs heavier and my eyes are droopy and feel gritty. I'm exhausted. Why can't I fall asleep?

Speed Racer

I am making this prediction: In America, Speed Racer will open fairly well, with about $60, maybe $70, million in its opening weekend. It will then fall by about 60% to about $24 million in its second weekend. By the third weekend, it will be under $10 million and effectively gone from the summer. I will be surprised if the movie winds up breaking $120 million total. I totally doubt the movie will score higher than a 40% on Rotten Tomatoes and will likely come in well below that figure (60% is considered "fresh" there).

Note: I am talking about America/North America only here. I understand that Speed Racer has a decent audience in Asian countries and in South America. It may be more successful overseas in general than here.

I make this statement for a few reasons:

1. Speed Racer is much more of a niche movie than even comic book adaptations are. I know a lot of cartoon/comic book lovers who are not fans of Speed Racer, and very few fans of Speed Racer outside of this niche. I don't see it having broad action appeal like other movies may have.
   
2. It is primarily CGI. And this CGI is garish, bright, and "cartoony," which the public has pretty much snubbed its nose at every time it has been released.
3. It is made by the Wachowski Brothers, who are not good writers or producers. (Their best work, The Matrix, is still being fought in court against plagiarism.)
   
4. People like "live action" action scenes more than CGI action scenes, given a choice between the two.
5. People are already complaining online of headaches and worse while watching previews and advance screenings. People don't like their movies to give them headaches.
   

Something like Iron Man, The Dark Knight, and Indiana Jones has bigger name recognition, likely better writing and production, and broader, general appeal to summer audiences. We'll see if I'm right.

Stuff

I live in a very small apartment. It is listed as 512 square feet, but a lot of that is unusable for storage or placement of things (there is a bar, for example, that separates the kitchen from the living area and makes putting any furniture or storage items in that area virtually impossible. Some of that 512 square feet is taken up with a washer/dryer cubbyhole and having a very large sliding glass door on one wall of the living area makes using that wall virtually impossible for furniture and storage.

Yet, now that I am packing up to move, I am finding I have a lot of stuff. I have packed 8 boxes of books so far, and likely need one, possibly two, more. and these aren't small boxes. I have one 18"H x 18"W x 16"L, four 12"x12"x12", one 12"x12"x16", and two others of odd sizes. That is just books. My DVDs should compact down into a few boxes, but I do have over 200 of those. Of course, the single biggest quantity of things that I have are the around 50 of the smaller comic book boxes filled with comics. Each of those is approximately 12"x8.5"x17". The lids on those, as any comic collector knows, makes them even longer, higher, and wider, as the lids are made to be thick (to support stacking).

Add onto this the size for my 27" TV, the other electronics, CDs (two smaller boxes), VHS (two boxes+), my La-Z-Boy recliner (the one piece of furniture that comes with me), all the kitchen stuff I plan to bring, board games and other knickknacks that I may want to bring, and my clothes, and it adds up really fast. I'm actually a little surprised at how well it all fits in my apartment as it is!

Time to go get some more boxes and bags....

The Lights Went Down in Irvine...

I was just starting a nice session of City of Heroes, had a friend join my team, and then the power went out. I thought I had blown a fuse, but when I looked outside, the entire parking lot and the other buildings were all just as dark. This was at 9:30pm. Had I been the least bit tired, I might have gone to bed. Instead, I found my flashlights and candles, grabbed a book, and started reading.

At about 10:15pm the lights started flickering and sputtering, but wouldn't stay on for long. I hurriedly switched off a bunch of things, which I hadn't thought to do earlier, and then waited. About 5 minutes later the lights went back on and stayed on. I waited a few more minutes before blowing out the candles. I got my PC running again, but alas my friend had logged off (probably irritated with me joining a group and then immediately logging out!).

Not sure what caused it, or if it was a standard blackout that we get all the time here during the summer happening a little early.

Cooking Question

Now, I'm fairly certain I've never done this, so this is truly just a hypothetical question. I don't want anyone casting aspersions my way thinking I'm asking about something I've done. ;-)

First, the set up:

Let's say you have four chicken breasts that are on the far side of safe to prepare and need to be cooked now. Let's say you grill or broil them, but you don't use enough heat or time and the four breasts are undercooked. Since they were so late in the "use by" date, let's further say that two of the four are far enough gone and undercooked enough that you would get food poisoning eating them.

Second, the situation:

You finish cooking the four breasts, eat one of them for your dinner, and you luck out that you don't get sick (this breast is not spoiled, but it is undercooked). That gives you a false sense of security that you did a good enough job cooking the chicken that you wrap up the remainder and put it in the fridge. Since you didn't have problems from the first one, you have no idea the others are time-bombs waiting to go off.

Third, the question:

Next day you grab one of the undercooked and turned breasts and put it into the microwave to reheat. My question-- if you cook it long enough and get it hot enough on the reheat will that make the breast "safe" to eat? It is my understanding that the majority of food poisoning occurs because of bacteria and other things that can be killed in hot enough temperatures. Hence the reason why you are supposed to cook to minimum internal temperatures. So, wouldn't the microwave reach those temperatures, kill or destroy the bacteria and other issues, and bring the undercooked food up to a safe-to-eat level? Or is meat "bad" always once it goes "bad?"

Conclusion:

My feeling is that this circumstance would mitigate the situation and the meat would be okay. I am only basing this conclusion on my limited understand of how food poisoning works and what is required to destroy the organisms that cause food poisoning. However, maybe there is more to food poisoning than I am aware. Maybe the end result is somehow different than the starting factors, so the second cooking would not mitigate the effects of the spoiled food. Maybe the organisms work harder after being heated and the refrigerated meat gets so much worse over the next 24 hours or so that no amount of microwaving or other reheating can kill or impede the spoilage.

What is your informed opinion?

Life Changes

Last week was an experience, going from losing my job, to finding out that my cat has pretty bad diabetes, not receiving and having to ask after my severance, and then getting my confirmation and approval of permanent residence in Canada on Friday. Saturday was a nice day spent with my wife and mother in downtown Los Angeles for my birthday. Sunday my wife started her trek home, which was sad. But boy was it wonderful having her here for such a topsy-turvy and emotional week.

Thank you to everyone for their kind comments, words of encouragement, and prayers during this time.

I am still a little upset with how my company handled the severance issues and dissemination of information to those of us who were laid off. This is only our lives you hold in your hand, so of course delaying it not once, not twice, but thrice without telling us hardly anything is not okay. Get it straight and get it right. However, the severance is decent, so I cannot complain about that. It should be enough to tide me over until I can move and pay for a lot of the moving expenses.

Monday and Tuesday were interesting, as I worked partial days helping to get Renee up to speed with what I did, checking and writing procedures, cleaning up over 7 years of accumulated paperwork and stuff, and asking questions of HR as the severance information which was supposed to arrive last week continued to be delayed. First I was told it was shipping Monday for arrival at my home on Tuesday. On Tuesday I was assured it was finally going out for receipt on Wednesday-- the day we are being let go.

Today I was pretty much done. I did some last-minute tasks that my former boss requested and then headed down for my "exit interview" with HR at 10 am. Took all of about 2 minutes to complete, so I was done and gone. Nothing like getting to work at 9 am, working for an hour, and going home. And I was pleasantly surprised to find my FedEx package waiting for me when I arrived home. Finally!

Many of those leaving the company sent out group emails with their well-wishes and sadness about leaving, plus their contact info. I did not. Not that I don't like or respect those with whom I used to work, but rather because those whom I wish to stay in contact with already know how I feel, what my contact information is, and that I will contact them. I'll probably get flack for that, but that just isn't me.

I am actually very relaxed now. I had been thinking of leaving the company anyway, and only was stopped by the desire to work until I could move to Canada. Without that pressure, this comes at a good time and allows me to focus on getting to Canada as quickly as I can. And that is important, as the monthly rent, additional $1500 to break my lease, and daily expenses, on top of any moving expenses, will add up quickly. And, of course, in the back of everything are my health care needs.

I am playing today to finish out the day. I've played some CoH, watched some saved TV, and will likely watch a movie shortly. Tomorrow I will start the slow process of evaluating, deciding, and packing. My goal, I think, is to try to be ready to leave by the end of May or early in June.

More Good News (Not!)

The week keeps getting better. Took Calypso into the vet yesterday because she was vomiting and had peed twice on the bed within a week-- which is very unusual behavior for her. Yes, I know I've written before about her peeing habits, but she has never peed on the bed during those indiscretions. She sleeps there as well as me, knows that it is wrong, and felt so ashamed that she ran and "hid" in her hidey-hole under the bookcase.

So this was something different, especially when you consider the vomiting. Add in the rampant drinking of water, the $300 test yesterday, and it turned out to be feline diabetes.

Caly is 10 years old this month. With my birthday (37), she has been with me for about 27% of my life to-date. That's a significant amount of time. She's been with me through some significant changes and events in my life, she's been my confidante and companion while others have come and gone, and she's been a sounding board through good times and bad.

However, she's just a cat, too. Her quality of life is already affected by this. She's an older cat at 10; considered a senior. How much more life does she have and what quality will that life be even with insulin. It may be that the best choice is to put her down.

Other things that are weighing on this news are:

• The move to Canada. Is it best for both the animal and the human beings to try to move a sick cat across the country? Will she need to be quarantined and, if so, how will she handle that with the diabetes?
• How quickly will her current problems accelerate without medications? Will she be "okay" for a few months before things turn bad? A few years? How much better will she be or will her quality of life be, at 10, even with the insulin?
• The expense of the remaining tests and the ongoing costs of the insulin on top of the previous tests, especially now that I'm out of work and expenses are likely to be tight going forward.
• The damage she's done to-date to the apartment.

Selfishly, I have to admit that this comes at a bad time. With some recent health concerns, the job situation, and the still-unresolved immigration situation, this is the last thing I needed on my mind. However, again, totally selfishly, not having a pet at this time or in the coming months may be easier.

So, I'm torn. I don't want to make a bad or wrong decision, or one that is too selfish toward my own desires. On the other hand, someone has to be an advocate for Caly and her quality of life. Is her listlessness, vomiting, and urinating problems at such a degree that she needs someone to consider her needs? Is she in pain?

I've got some hard thinking to do.

Glass Half Full or Empty?

Well, I got "the script" from Renee today. I knew something was up at work with the number of mid-level managers who were present much earlier than usual, and the fact that Tom (one of the higher managers of our business unit) was going from office to office with papers in his hand. I hoped he wouldn't stop at Renee's office, but when he did, I was expecting the inevitable call in and scripted "you're fired" message. The new company will not be extending an offer of employment to me upon the close of the purchase deal.

I'm a little sad, a very small touch bitter, but mostly just disappointed in this. I will get a severance package from the previous company and I am getting three days this week off on them (paid leave) to help me "adjust" to this decision. Then, by April 30, I need to transition my work to her, including training her on the more technical things I do, and then it is adios.

It was a good run. I was hired on January 8, 2001. I was something of a star in my department because I got through the training much faster than expected, was participating as a quality member well before they expected. However, in recent months, my private life has intruded on things more; I've used more sick days, I've been distracted by my (2nd) wedding and the immigration process, and the company has continually halted new work on two of the main product lines I worked on, so I couldn't shine by doing those document sets and prove my value.

The glass is half empty because my life is currently in a lot of turmoil personally and I didn't need professional turmoil on top of that. Added to that is the fact I may have to look for a job for an undisclosed period of time in that I have no idea when the Canadian government will give me (hopefully) approval to move to Canada. It will be hard to interview even for short-term contract work knowing that I may not be able to complete it if the companies don't allow me to work from "home."

The glass is half full because we are somewhat hopeful that the immigration may come through sometime very soon. If it does, I can transition from working to packing to moving to looking for a job in Canada fairly seamlessly. If need be, I can pack up everything and live low-cost with mom for a few months. I have my sister and father who can potentially be helpful. And, of course, my wife is here this week to discuss this issue with me and to help make plans and think through strategies. Maybe this will work out for the best in the long run.


As I've said before, I do not define myself by my job. It is, after all, just a job. However, it is still sad to be let go after giving over 7 years of good service. But, with the help of my friends and family, I will turn this into something positive and worthwhile in the long run. Just need to figure things out in the meantime.

Strength In Unity

My wife flies in tomorrow afternoon for a week's stay in SoCal. While excited as always for her visit, it happens to come at a great time. As you know from previous posts, I find out no later than next Tuesday if I will be offered a position with the new company. If I am not, I look forward to working out the rest of the month for my current employer and then getting a severance package from them. If I do, then it is all-systems go for the new job.

Under this stressful time, it will be nice to have my wife her for support, encouragement, and to talk with about the various permutations. Also, I will have paperwork to fill out either way that I can bring home and discuss with her in person.

It will be, in many ways, one of the first times we'll be together for a "momentous" happening in our lives that we can discuss in person and make decisions about together. It gets frustrating sometimes to have nearly all of these conversations by phone, email, or IM. However, I cannot knock those means of communication as they have helped us to establish very open and honest lines of communication that we have every plan of continuing once we are together full-time.

***

I like to plan very small "adventures" for my birthday. Sometimes it is simply going to a restaurant I haven't been to before, or a walk on the beach, or a movie with friends. Sometimes it is out to mom's for a treat. A couple of years it has been going to visit the otters at the Long Beach Aquarium (I love otters). This year, with M here, I was looking for something fun to do with the family. It looks like we will be going to Los Angeles. The only question is whether we go on Friday (a day early) to just LA to see some sights or if we go on Saturday and attending the LA Times Festival of Books as well as see the sights. Either way we plan on having mom drive down here first and then head up to LA for some fun. Hopefully we can get to the Hollywood Walk of Fame, maybe the Tar Pits (which I keep meaning to go see, but haven't yet), or some of the downtown museums. It will be a fun day.

Facebook

I joined Facebook to be closer to my Canadian friends, who switched en masse from blogging to using that tool. I found the site initially very intimidating, as it is not set up in a way that makes sense to my mind, the features and especially the toggles and switches, were hard to find and not very well labeled. But I struggled through so I could be more connected.

And then the applications started bombarding me. Every little quirky thing that someone sent me required the installation of a new application in order to see it, read it, or respond to it. Every one of these apps then had a page that involved sending the results to everyone on my Facebook account unless I could find the (often) small or well-hidden Cancel or Skip button. Even using that, I was finding that a bunch of my stuff still was sent to people in my Facebook list, which frustrated me.

The last straw for me was the recent addition of the "People you might know" feature. This feature looks at my Facebook list and those who are listed as my friends' lists, compares them, and suggests people off of their lists to me that I might know. This is all well and good, I guess, except that I have turned on all of the options I can that do not send my information out to just anyone. Now I find that my info is going out there, spreading farther than I intended or wanted. I didn't mind that those who wanted to could search for me, even with the options I had set, but I didn't want just anyone being able to get a hold of me willy-nilly-- I have "friends" in my past whom I would rather not be contacted by. If, however, those people are friends of people I am friends with, they get my info for free and there is nothing I can do about it.

I contacted Facebook Support on this directly and asked them to point me in the direction of the Off switch. Support responded with the following:

This feature highlights new users who you are likely to know based on their network, work/education information, friends, etc. Since this feature is automatic, it occasionally identifies people that you do not know or do not want to be friends with. Unfortunately, you cannot turn off this feature at this time. I apologize for any inconvenience. Let me know if you have any further questions.

This comes after a recent incident wherein Facebook installed features that similarly sent a bunch of data out that members did not want and it got a bunch of protests over. And an incident wherein Facebook installed some features that allowed businesses to track members purchasing habits and posted them online. And another that gave out identities-- do you see a trend? Facebook has a habit and history of putting in place features and applications that give away its members' identities for free to anyone who wants to join Facebook. It isn't until or unless the members complain that it does something about it or adds a toggle or switch.

So, shortly after receiving that email from Facebook Support, I Deactivated my account. I replied to both the email and the request for a reason why I was deactivating with a succinct and specific reason why: until such time as Facebook amends its policies as a company and offers these features as optional and respects my desire for some amount of privacy within the confines of the application it is enabling, I cannot be a member. In my mind it is that simple.

What a Difference a Day Makes

When we had our all-hands meeting explaining the purchase of our division by a new company, one of our leaders apparently misspoke and said that the new company was very interested in all of the people in our division and we would all have jobs at the new company. A week or so later we got an email from the former company's head of HR wherein he made the statement that some people may not be offered positions with the new company. This immediately took the feeling of lightness and relief that had finally permeated the offices after weeks of not knowing what was going on and turned it on its ear.

Yesterday we had an all-hands with the leads of the new company. They gave a presentation, an overview of the company, and answered a lot of our HR questions. One person asked the inevitable question: "Will we all be offered positions?" The same lead of our division stood and said frankly that, while most would, some would not. They were working on a final roster during this week and everyone should know before the next meeting on Tuesday when people are offered jobs with the new company and must provide proof of job eligibility and fill out the new paperwork for W-2s, etc.

So, of course, today the mood is absolutely bleak at work. No one is talking, the cloud is back, and people are ducking around. People are talking more about the what-ifs and what-fors than work-related issues. People are, frankly, scared.

My boss and I have a slightly different perspective. We don't wrap ourselves up in our job as much as most people; we define ourselves by internal drives and external motivations that are not job-related. She has a huge bank of vacation time that the company would have to pay her if they let her go, the equivalent of a number of months worth of pay, plus has the severance package to look forward. I am not as set financially, but my plans are all about moving to Canada and a decision on that should be made soon, so being fired may give me the opportunity to head that way even sooner. We both like our jobs, and like the people we work with, but because it does not define us, we can look past the current issues and see positives from both remaining and being let go.

This week is going to be a real winner now. People are walking on egg shells and worrying over everything. Until the emails, phone calls, or HR visits start, people will not get much done. All the positives from the previous meeting have been undone for the vast majority of workers as they are all now afraid for their jobs. There is at least one person at work who is not sleeping hardly at all.

There has to be a better way to do these things.

News and Notes

Taxes
I managed to get my taxes done and I put them in the mail today. Decided to go for claiming an exemption for my wife, as the JK Lasser book and the nice guy on the IRS phone line both agreed that it totally applied in these circumstances. However, that means that I had to send my taxes to a different address in Texas to be processed for her ITIN first, and then they process the tax forms for the refund. Pretty significant difference in my refund, so worth a shot. When you add in the $600 bonus refund amount this year, will get a tidy sum back-- just in time, hopefully, to help with the costs of moving.

Immigration
My file has moved to the Los Angeles consulate from the one in Buffalo, NY. The letter stating this claimed it was for "final processing" and to determine and perform an interview, if required. I would guess that we are close to having approval on this puppy!

Work
Not only was my division sold to another company, but the company we are moving to has just announced a merger this week with a Chicago-based company that does the same thing. So in the space of a couple of weeks, Mitchell International has, in essence, eliminated two big competitors by merging/buying them, as well as greatly increasing the distribution and clients of the company as a whole. Looks like it has just jumped from a $250 million/year company to a $450 million/year company. Both my existing company and the new are now stating that they think everything will be finalized on May 1, so the clock is ticking. This new merger news shouldn't affect that time frame. We have our first official all-hands with reps from the new company on Monday and Tuesday, April 21-22, wherein we basically reapply for our existing jobs, fill out new W-2s, etc. in order to get into Mitchell's HR processes. Everything must be completed/turned in no later than April 24.

Health
Had a bit of a health scare before going to Canada the last time, as my liver numbers were through the roof. However, my most recent test results were back within the normal range, so we (my doctor and I) are happy and proceeding cautiously forward right now. However, I have stopped taking my Enbrel for the time being until I can visit with my RA doctor. The last three times I've taken the Enbrel it solved my pain/swelling issues, but I was very sick for at least a week and upward of two weeks afterward. It is not worth it; the point of the Enbrel is supposed to make me more active and able to do more, but if I'm sick in bed instead, I'm not really gaining anything except pain relief. So I'm sore as heck right now and cracking like nobody's business, but I'm feeling healthier. Sucks to choose between health and pain, but what can you do?

Clothes
I can't figure it out, but I seem to be missing about 10 pair of underwear. I can't find them anywhere in my apartment, so far. It's the damnedest thing. Will do a more thorough look-see tomorrow and finish the last of the laundry to see if I can't find them.

Weight
I've managed to get myself down to an average of 172 lbs and seem to be staying there for the last two weeks or so. I'm going to push for 168 if I can hold around 172 for the next week or so. Not saying I'm any healthier, just lighter. ;-)

Visit
M is visiting the week of April 19 through 27. Very much looking forward to that, even though that will be a bit of a stressful week with the Mitchell meetings happening then.

The Death of the Movie Theater

I was reading this article about theater attendance declining. I was amused by it, as people have been prognosticating the death of the movie theater since the first Betamax and VHS machines were released in the 70s, and again when the internet finally took off in the 90s. And, while attendance has declined nearly every year, millions of people still flock to theaters every weekend to see films shown "as they were meant to be seen."

Here is my reaction to this article, and others like it:

One thing that home-viewing cannot replace is the audience experience. While more and more it seems there are rude people, children there not paying attention, etc., few thing are as exciting as that shared experience of everyone gasping together at the villain's actions, everyone laughing at the same joke, everyone cheering for the hero at the same time. Those times are priceless. And, I think, that is primarily what people go to the theaters for these days-- the shared movie watching experience.

Where I am in Southern California, ticket prices for matinees are around $8.50 and for the other times around $10 (some small .50 variations depending on where you go, but all in this area are around those costs). I can go to opening day on most of the big movies and have no issue getting in, because people are not willing to pay those costs, plus concessions, for the theater experience anymore. However, a $1 theater opened up a few miles away, and that theater has lines around the block for nearly every show! People still want the group-movie going/watching experience, it seems, they just aren't willing to pay $10 a person for it.

For example, my wife and I went to see Michael Clayton a week before the Oscars. The first day we showed up about 20 minutes before the film and the line was from the ticket counter to the end of the building. The next day we showed up for a late morning/early afternoon show, got there almost 40 minutes early, and got in... but there was literally not one empty seat in the place.

This is a converted old-style theater that had been run-down and unused for years. It has no stadium seating, the seats are small, uncomfortable, and have no head rests. The arms don't raise and there are no cup holders. The theaters are small. And yet they consistently pack the place for every weekend show!

This proves to me that people want the theater experience, but we have simply hit a price-point where it is not cost-effective to go to your average over-priced theater any more.

The More Things Stay the Same, the More Things Change

I'm still employed. The company for which I work decided to restructure and divest itself of components that did not fit with its new direction. My division was the main one divested. It decided to eliminate approximately 200 jobs and $100 million a year today. By divesting itself of this division, the company is saving approximately $65 million a year in costs and gets a little more than half-way to its goal of 200 people. They are restructuring out the other people, gaining about $30 million, and then are closing some facilities and doing some odds and ends clean up to achieve the remaining $10 million per year.

The (now) former company was a decent one, but we never quite fit into its needs. We've been actively on the block for at least 18 months now. The company that is purchasing this division is privately owned, directly in the same industry as we are, and has wanted to acquire us for a long time because we are one of their direct competitors and, frankly, do what they want to do better than they do. It appears that they find we run lean (maybe even too-lean) and they have no plans for any layoffs from our division. Matter of fact, one of the reason they bought us is because they are actively seeking to grow and this was a quick way to add a viable, successful program, take out a rival in the industry, and increase their head count and intellectual property. While many other companies are letting people go, this company has over 50 current job openings and may allow us finally to hire some staff that we desperately need.

For the next month or so we will remain as part of, and employees of, the former company while the powers that be resolve and sign everything. After that, we will be employees of the new company.

It seems from what we have been told and what I have read about the new company that this will be a much better fit for our talents. The fact that we are joining a private company is also extremely advantageous, too. Public companies are not run by their management-- they are at the whim of the stockholders whose only goal is return on investment. That forces management to constantly make decisions that may not be in the best interest of their product or people or even their industry in order to maximize profits on the stocks. A private company, on the other hand, can take time to see how the industry is moving, keep lower-profit or unprofitable divisions around as it makes changes to facilitate the division's long-term success, and are not at the whim of "the Street" when making decisions for the company.

I find much value in my time spent in the former company, however. I got to work on many different products, learned a lot, and expanded my horizons. It was also personally gratifying that they allowed me some special favors like working from Canada two weeks out of every quarter and to work from home when not feeling as well as I could. I hope that some of these arrangements might continue with the new company, but expect they won't. With luck, I won't be with this new company too long before I see approval on the immigration paperwork and plan the big move to Canada. Then again, maybe this new company will have a different policy on employees working from Canada that I can take advantage of, too.