36

Today's my birthday and I am 36 years old today. As my mother's student put it, I'm old enough to be her dad.

Here's what I'm thinking:

• I love my wife and am getting tired of being apart.
• My father turned 30 the year I was born. Mom was 26. I'm 6 and 10 years older and only just got married and no sign of children any time soon. Times have changed.
• I wonder what it would be like to float in a container of water that was exactly my body temperature?
• Renee made me two loaves of cherry bread for my happy day. She did an especially good job on it, as it is moist without being wet. It is superb. Now, the hard part is to not eat it all before lunch!
• Dad sent me a card with a check for $75. Little does he know, he is now paying for fingerprints and a security check from the California and US governments!
• If I turn 36 today, that means in 11 days someone else is turning 36. And I'm bald and he's got gray hair. We're both married now. He has a child through his marriage. Times are changing there, too.
• I have been on some medication and dealing with the liver disease and the rheumatoid arthritis since 1995. That's 12 years of daily medications, at minimum quarterly blood draws, near constant pain and discomfort, headaches, weight fluctuations, constant doctor's visits, dealing with insurance companies, and mental stress.
• On a list M sent me of 239 movies, I had for sure watched 175 of them, had viewed parts of around 10 more (on TV, but never sat and watched the whole thing), and had 2 more at home from Netflix (one of which I watched last night). The list said that 89 or higher indicated "No Life." What is more than double no life?
• During the first Gulf war, which occurred as I was graduating High School, gas went from $.89 a gallon to a whopping $1.39 a gallon. Now, I barely bat an eyelash at paying $3.39 a gallon. The processes for refining gas (and, therefore, the costs of it) have not significantly changed or increased since then. And the crude cost has only doubled. So, the gas companies could be making a significant, world-leading profit margin selling gas at somewhere around $2.25-2.50 per gallon. The remaining nearly $1 is all profit and greed.
• I am very much looking forward to DnD tonight. May be the last session we play for some time.

Follow Up

If you'll recall, I had to use an ambulance service on March 7. Well, I got the bill for it ($1097.75), was shocked, and then spent time figuring out the procedures for submitting it to my insurance and getting them to pay for it. I actually spoke with a rep to answer some of my questions before sending it to them. I included the original bill at her suggestion so that "(they'll) take it from there!"

I received a letter from my insurance company today saying they couldn't process the claim because I didn't provide a procedure code. Well, no shit. I included the bill, so they had all the information I had. A brief look would indicate that it didn't include the procedure code, so I didn't include it.

So I called them and asked how I am to get that information, as they had the original bill. I had been an idiot and not made a copy of the bill, so I was without the info. Not sure what brain fart caused that, as I normally am pretty good about that sort of thing. The rep I spoke with this time seemed put out that I made her go look up the original bill, provide me with the phone number, and identifying number, so that I could then call the ambulance company and ask for the procedure code.

Then I phoned the ambulance and spoke with Lori in billing. I told her my problem and asked for the procedure code. She wouldn't provide it. Instead she said, "If you had just sent the bill in with your insurance information, we would have billed them directly." I replied that the bill I received had no statement to that effect and no place to put that information. I was so surprised by that, that I showed it to Renee at work and she can verify that fact! However, Lori assured me that it did, in fact say that and have an entire entry area on the back for that information. I, again, assured her that I have a witness that it did not.

She took my insurance information by phone and will bill the insurance company directly.

This is all troubling because it could have been avoided in a number of ways.

• The bill could have and should have had the insurance portion like Lori said it did. All I can figure is that I received a second notice instead of a first and the second notice does not include that information.
• The insurance company could have simply called, identified themselves and the patient for whom they are calling, and asked for the needed proc. code. This would have saved time, money, and a lot of people's efforts.
• The ambulance people could have taken my insurance information one of the three or four times I offered it and billed insurance first thing.
• The original representative to whom I asked questions could have provided me with better, more detailed information. Or suggest I contact the ambulance company directly and see what their billing dept could do for me.
  

There are many reasons why insurance rates are astronomical and why people hate dealing with HMOs, PPOs, but the sure volume of bureaucracy one must deal with to get even the most simple claim paid is ridiculous.

Er, Hello?!

Can anyone say Captain Jean-Luc Picard????

Oh, and to answer someone else's question on another blog-- yes; one does the writing and one does the art.

When Is It Your Fault?

A woman at work just became hysterical. She was yelling and nearly in
tears because of a perceived lack of communication. I actually heard
her yell, "I don't understand how we could have such bad
miscommunication on this!" to a programmer.

The funny thing is that she has been 'miscommunicating' with my boss
on documentation. And with me on alerts. And with QA on testing needs
and procedures. And with other programmers for other changes she
needs. And with product support for issues that have come up with
changes she requested. And even with others in her own group.

Yet, all of these are everyone else's fault, not hers. Never hers. At
what point will it be enough to hit that limit where she says,
"Everyone I am in contact with is not understanding me or what I need.
Is there another way I can deal with them that will be more
effective?"

At my previous employer there was one manager who was almost
exclusively at fault for about 200 people leaving the company. We know
this number because those of us who survived him kept a running tally
in plain sight of the number. Yet, when asking other managers about
this singular trend, we were told they were all "isolated incidences"
of employee dissatisfaction. Some of us know what was said in exit
interviews and in termination of employement letters, as we were
friends with the people who left (and in many cases still are).

I begin to wonder, at what point do all the "isolated incidences"
become a singular truth that indicates she is the one at fault? Where
is the threshold that causes those in superior positions to get smart
and say, "If I fix this one thing, all these other things will fix
themselves" and they eradicate or educate the one wayward person,
rather than refusing to believe the masses? When does all the evidence
simply become enough, and action is taken against the one person who
lies at the root of the issue?

I wonder.

Gaming

My gaming group has, typically, six people in it. Three of those six have been gaming together regularly since 1995 now. A fourth was brought in about two years later and has been with us every since and the fifth and sixth are newer, but not that new, to this group. For awhile, we had three wives playing with us, too, which made for a very large and interesting group. One of those wives was a starting member in 1995 (giving us a quartet at that time, three players and a DM). She was also the last woman to stop playing in the game and only did because she had children. She still sometimes wants to play with us, but until the kids are older, has to stand back.

Most consistently, we have two games running at any one time. Originally it wound up being one current and one on hold until the current DM hit a wall, life intruded, or we reached the end of the particular storyline. Then the other game would start back up and we would keep going. We have been lucky in that nearly all of the players also like to DM, so we have played a variety of different games and styles due to this wealth of resources.

We went from playing every week on Friday to playing less often and on the weekends for awhile, until a DM stepped up and started a “fortnightly” game on Thursdays to augment our playing. Now we play once a month on Saturday for a long session of one game and once every two weeks for a shorter period of time in another game.

Soon, one friend needed to quit the fortnightly game, but the rest of us continued on. He has continued to attend the monthly game.

Now, our current monthly session DM, who is also one of the players in the fortnightly game, has decided to call it quits from roleplaying altogether. While I understand that life issues came up, he dumped his game at an awkward time an way and has been in little to no contact with our group since then; it’s hard not to take that sort of thing a little personally. However, I assume he has his reasons and he has quit before only to come back 6 months or a year later to play for a while longer. The friend who quit the fortnightly game is seriously considering a move out of state. The friend who hosts and DMs the fortnightly game is moving about 30 miles away through some awful traffic patterns. This may impact our ability to meet on a “school night” for gaming. Especially as one member already lives 30 miles south of the current location—that will make for a long night and drive home for him!

So, after a good, long run, it looks like this group may no longer be able to continue their gaming as this year progresses. If we can, it will be likely in fits and starts and with a much smaller cast. And this cast will get smaller still, as I am actively working on my immigration process to go to Canada. Hopefully by the end of this year or early next, I will be moving to the east coast and joining with friends there who game to get my DnD jones on.

I hope this group can continue until I leave and beyond. It’s a good group of people.

Found this Funny

This made me laugh. Likely because I'm John and I'm dating Liz and I have a fat orange tabby cat.

Sleep Paralysis and Night Terrors

I suffer from something called Sleep Paralysis. I have pretty much all of the symptoms; the images of someone or something crushing me, the inability to move (initially), and usually taunting, acerbic comments from the being keeping me from moving. Mine tend to occur about mid-way through my sleep cycle and most often involve the image of a dark, shadowy figure entering or suddenly being in the room. It is then that I become unable to fully move. The figure walks toward the bed and does something that involves crushing me. Sometimes that is supernatural in some way, other times it is simply getting on top of me to strangle or in some way smother me.

In my cases, as a child, there was usually nothing I could do about it. I would have to hope, in my head/dream, that something would occur to drive the figure away or make him leave. Oftentimes, my parents or my sister getting up, making some noise, or similar would drive the spirit away. As I grew older, however, and I developed some minor dream control (lucid dreaming), I have learned to fight against this figure and to literally “throw” him off of me. As soon as I can recognize the situation, the more quickly I can start the process of fighting back against this unseen assailant. I find that, as soon as I recognize what is going on and start to struggle, I regain some movement. This allows me to focus entirely on my chest, where the crushing sensation is always focused. My heart rate goes up and I have been told I start a strange thrashing around, as I can move everything except my chest. Although I may talk, yell, and have my eyes open during these things, until I throw this sensation off of me, or it is driven away, I am not awake. However, once it is gone I always wake up fully.

In this regard, my sleep paralysis has some traits in common with night terrors; another classic sleep disorder. Night terrors involve the increased heart rate, talking, yelling, or screaming, thrashing about, etc. The two disorders have some traits in common. Some have even argued that I use a night terror to rid myself of sleep paralysis.

I comment on this now as I had a classic example of sleep paralysis last night. I have no memory of any dreams prior to suddenly “seeing” an image of a dark, shadowy figure at the door to my bedroom (just inside it, as it was closed). I was instantly unable to move. As I became aware of my paralysis, I started to struggle and my arms and feet started to flail about a bit as I attempted to get “leverage” on whatever was on my chest. Once I was able to both mentally and physically get my leverage (there is always a willpower component to these dreams), I was able to make one huge heave and throw it off of me. The figure stayed in the doorway for a moment after I woke up fully, and then faded from my vision. And I was lying on my side and my arms were outstretched from the effort of the heavy lifting. My heart was beating pretty fast and I was a bit sweaty from the struggle. I am pretty sure I yelled out loud, “Get off me!” In this particular case, the figure had supernatural abilities; his mere presence and constant stare was enough to crush me. This time, I heard no taunts or laughter; he just stared malevolently at me and tried to kill me with his hatred.

This happens to me maybe once or twice a year. I used to get them 4-6 times a year as a child and young adult. They eased back during high school and afterward to maybe 2-3 times a year. I only remember one last year and now this one this year.

Unless or until you experience one, you cannot understand or fully comprehend the incredible feelings of helplessness and panic from this type of betrayal by your body and mind. As one who values the mind above all other things, and tends to rule himself with his willpower and determination, there is no more fully helpless feeling than to have this happen. And I also do not know what stressors bring on this feeling. Sometimes it happens during stress-filled periods, other times during peaceful and relaxed times. Sometimes it has happened right after a big blow up fight with someone close to me, other times when all my relationships seem to be going very well. It has occurred when I’m sick and when I’m healthy. When I have slept poorly for awhile and when I have been sleeping well.

It just seems to “be.” And that, for me, may be the single scariest component of the disorder.

Quiz

Well, at least I'm sexy!! ;-)

Your results:
You are Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)

Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command) 85% Wash (Ship Pilot) 80% Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic) 65% River (Stowaway) 60% Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic) 55% Malcolm Reynolds (Captain) 50% Inara Serra (Companion) 45% Derrial Book (Shepherd) 40% Jayne Cobb (Mercenary) 35% Alliance 25% A Reaver (Cannibal) 20%

Dependable and trustworthy. You love your significant other and you are a tough cookie when in a conflict.

Click here to take the "Which Serenity character am I?" quiz...

Mixing

In case you have ever wondered but were afraid to find out-- lemonade and chocolate don't really mix. At all.

 

Ugh!

Things I Don't Understand

• People who drive 35 in a 55 zone in the fast lane.
• Comedy programs that aren't funny. See: The Office, Reno 911, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, et al.
  
• People who come to a stop more than one car length from the intersection.
• People who are ten or more cars from the intersection but who take off the break and start to go as soon as the light turns green-- whether any of the cars in front of him/her are moving or not.
• People who drive 65 in a 35 zone and then don't pay enough attention to realize you, who are driving the speed limit and with care, keep winding up right beside or behind them at every red light.
• People who ride their bicycles on the wrong side of the street and then get mad at cars for the problems they are causing. In the US, bicycles are considered vehicles and are supposed to follow all the rules of the road as a car (including which side of the street they are on).
• The cop who is sitting in his car waiting for speeders or others who doesn't at least shout out to the bicyclists who ride by him on the wrong side of the street.
• Why my cell phone carrier doesn't allow me to edit my phone book online. Don't they realize that the vast majority of people don't like typing things as complex as an address into their phone using the stupid 9-key system the phone has?
• Those cell phone commercials where the line goes dead and people fear the worst. Everyone I know hears the line go dead and immediately says, "Hello?"
• How I can call four different doctor's offices in Los Angeles between 10:30 and 11 am today and get the answering service for all of them. Is today a freaking holiday and no one told me?
• Why America still uses the electoral college or a bicameral system. We don't need either any more. One person, one vote. We have the means and the technology to get it done.
• How the news, the news for pity's sake!, has become so biased and out of kilter. The news is supposed to be something people can trust. In the 40s through the early 80s, someone like Bill O'Reilly (just to name one-- there are plenty to choose from on both sides of the aisle) would never have been allowed on the air.

Waiting

I hate to eat alone. For as solitary an individual as I am, that is one thing I dislike doing by myself. Which is partly why I eat my big meal of the day at lunchtime and why I eat like crap when I am at home. Frankly, I don't even care if the other person is eating. I just like the company when I eat.

Today, I could not entice anyone to lunch with me, so I decided to call a favorite place, Gina's, and order something. Since I was calling, and I know how long it takes them to make one, I got a Calzone. The guy taking my order said, "Give us about 20 minutes to get it done." I already knew that, but it was good to have confirmation.

So I waited 20 minutes. I then cruised over (took about 6 minutes) and paid for my meal, which took another 3-4 minutes as I had to wait in line for the next cashier and there were a couple of people ahead of me.

And then I waited.

About 15 minutes later, as I was growing visibly upset with the wait, they finally completed it and gave it to me with a perfunctory, "Sorry for the wait."

No, damn it, get it done. You took 35-40 minutes to get a 20 minute task done. If that has become the norm, then how long do other people wait for their meals?

I helped make Gina's a popular place. When they first opened up in this location, they weren't doing all that great. Yes, they had the University crowd, but that was it. I spread the word about it, emailing friends, making suggestions, ensuring that a large number of people here at work knew about it. With me, and others like me, we made it a popular place to go for the business crowd that surrounds the school.

And Steve, the owner, appreciates it. Whenever he's there, I get a discount off my meals and the best service. However, when he's not, everyone gets poorer service now. They are too crowded. They cater to too many different things.

For example, the last time I took friends with me there, I was the only one who got his meal. The other two people finally had to badger the workers for their meal and get it to go-- we had wasted an entire hour there without eating! Their excuse? A large phone order for pizzas. Yeah, so? The point is you have people in your store, now, who have actually paid, and who will likely not come back and will give you a bad review if asked by anyone because of the bad service. The orders you lose due to the bad in-house service far outpaces the good service you provide to the phone in order for pizza. You have to keep some of the oven and food prep area and people free to continue to work on the steady stream of college kids and professionals you have coming in for lunch.

Now, don't get me wrong; the place is clean, it has good food and generally good prices, and it is nice to sit outside on a day like today (80 and sunny) and have a good lunch. And the food is far superior to any you'd get a fast food joint. But, and here's the kicker for Gina's, I would rather pay for and eat the fast food if I can get it in under 10 minutes and be on my way. I don't want to be waiting 35-40 minutes for my 20 minute meal. I have better things to do with my time.

Next time I can corner Steve and talk with him for a bit, I will mention it. I'm sure he's noticed that a lot of regulars aren't so regular any more (I haven't seen any of the other people I frequently bumped into there in quite a while).

Sadism

There is something sadistic about the task of jabbing yourself with a needle once a week to self-medicate. I can only imagine how much worse it is for those who have to do something similar more often or something even more invasive. It truly makes me wonder how anyone can become addicted to illicit drugs that require injection.

While I do my best to focus on how good I will feel after the shot as the pain from my arthritis eases away and I become mobile, flexible, and able, the pain of the injector shooting the needle through my skin and the drug coursing into my flesh makes me hesitate. For those 15 seconds as the medication injects into my thigh (or arm or abdomen) it is hard not to tense up. But, of course, tensing those muscles or moving the needle during the process just causes more pain and discomfort.

I have a friend who is very afraid of needles; he winces when someone else gets a shot and hates to watch, so you can imagine how much he hates it when he has to have a shot or give blood himself. How badly would doing something like this affect his psyche?

Diabetics have to prick themselves multiple times a day so that they can test their blood. While it is a simple prick, just enough to cause bleeding, imagine for a moment that you had to do that -- make yourself bleed -- 1, 2, or 3 times a day. Any diabetics willingness to do this for years on end staggers me.

A friend has a device attached to aid the function of his kidneys. Another friend has something similar for his diabetes. Both have to deal with the shunt, with the awkwardness of wearing the device nearly (or actually) 24 hours a day. Imagine having to relearn your sleeping habits so that you can get rest with such a device attached to you. Imagine the embarrassment and discomfort of wearing these devices under your clothes, out in public, when you are trying to be intimate with your loved one.

Now, stretch your imagine a bit further to those who have cancer, HIV, or a similar disease that requires incredibly invasive medications and treatments. Imagine having to hook up to an IV daily, having the medications sap you of all strength and most of your willpower. Having it change your appearance and very being.

Imagine being a child of 4, 5, 10, or 14 and having to deal with any or all of these situations.

Western philosophy on medication and illness is one that is extremely aggressive toward the disease but tends to forget about the mental and physical stress those treatments can cause. In some cases, it is so aggressive toward the disease and dismissive of the patient that the treatment regiments are designed to kill the patient with the goal that the doctors can, with some luck and a strong will-to-live from the sick person, forestall the death long enough that the disease is destroyed or goes into remission. Then they can refocus their efforts on strengthening and healing the patient.

I am not proposing that Eastern (or other) medicinal practices are better, but they do take the entire person into account. If a person's mental or spiritual health are affected, non-Western medicine will take those aspects into account and will alter treatment accordingly.

As my leg warms up, the now-familiar bump at the injection spot turns red and rough, and I feel the medicines from the injection coursing through my body, I wonder if there is some other way in which I can achieve this type of pain-free life. I wonder how many more times I can relax my breathing and my muscles enough to keep the injection as simple as possible. I wonder if my mind and my soul will continue to accept this type of physical treatment 52 weeks a year, for many years to come.

I wonder.

Spoke Too Soon

Went down hard yesterday with the same illness M has/had. I didn't go to work yesterday at all and I am working from home today, although I am not sure how long that will last, either. Ugh.

Came out of nowhere as I felt fine Sunday and Monday. I was very much looking forward to DnD last night, but had to cancel my appearance due to the illness. We have a session in the other game scheduled for Saturday, and I'm wondering if I will feel up to going.

---

On a happy note, on Monday night I managed to get the remaining bubbles of XP needed to reach level 50 with my CoH character. Yay! I unlocked the two epic archetypes for use, got a lot of congrats from those who were on that late, and celebrated by going back to Galaxy City and training that last level where it all started; plus, any cool-named low-level characters got free Influence from me.

Now I just need to figure out a way to transfer some of my 30 million influence to my other characters-- once you hit 40s, influence is not really a problem any more. You spend about 1.5-2.5 million per level (took me just over 2 million to purchase a totally new set of enhancements at level 47-- which didn't even take me under 20 million at the time) and earn well more than that as you adventure.

Home

Relatively safe and sound. Will blog more as my wits come back to me-- probably tomorrow. Of course, many would say I rarely, if ever, have my wits about me.

I Know My Bible

So, M and I are watching TV and an ad for the "Book of Truck" (Toyota) comes on. She says out loud, "The Book of Truck?" and glances my way.

I immediately say, "Yes, I believe it is between Mark and Luke in the Bible."

We laughed; long and slightly hysterically.

:-)

Sick

First it hit M-- sore throat, general malaise, stuffy head, temperature swings. She got it Tuesday evening and then felt bad enough to stay home yesterday from work (a rare thing). Then it hit me yesterday as the day wore on. I logged off from work about an hour early and relaxed the rest of the evening. Her sore throat seemed worse and she didn't complain of a headache while I was coughing more and definitely had a headache; outside of those differences, we had fairly similar symptoms.

She's feeling better enough she's trying work today. She has a lunchtime meeting with the owner today and her coworker has been out for about a week visiting various stores, so she has some motivation to go in and be present at work.

I'm feeling worse as I write this-- the type of "feeling worse" that involves making the mad dash to the restroom shortly after she left for work . Ugh. I'm supposed to get on a plane early Saturday morning; I hope this clears up quickly or that may be a miserable flight home.

I took an Advil Cold & Sinus pill this morning, so the headache isn't as bad as it could be and the sinuses aren't awful, but my stomach is a bit queasy and I feel like napping. I may not stay logged on at work for very long if this continues.

The problem is that I am not supposed to take my new medication if I feel sick. So, I haven't taken it yesterday (they day I normally take it) and I have no thoughts of taking it today. Of course, being new, I don't know what this will do overall to my body or my weekly plan for this medication. What a pain.

Google

Normally I am a fan of Google in general and their Gmail and Blogger businesses specifically. However, I have had some issues with Blogger lately and currently I can access but cannot see or seem to receive any legitimate email to the account.

It is frustrating when something like this happens and you cannot see or get to emails you know you have. I know, for example, that M has sent me three emails-- one early yesterday, shortly after she went to work. Yet here it is about 24 hours later and I have not received that email, or any of the others. Yet she received the email I sent from the same account (and replied to it, but I have yet to see her reply).

I do not know if anyone else has sent me an email to that account since about mid-day on Monday, but if you did, there is a good reason I haven't responded.

Blogger has also been giving me some difficulty; not posting things when I hit Publish (or send an email to the appropriate address), the edit feature not working properly, and having things reformat in wild ways.

I am starting to wonder if Google is expanding too quickly and not properly controlling and protecting their existing customer base and technology as they go.

Songs

I have a bad habit of listening to the radio. Yes, I know... I shouldn't. Almost any other source of music is better at telling me who the artist is, what the song is, or providing a list of the recently played songs.

Before coming to SJ, I heard a song that was upbeat, catchy, and fun. I liked it. It was on one of the indy stations in SoCal. I tried looking it up on the radio station's website, but they didn't have the song listed (they showed the the "last 10 songs we played" yet, strangely, the list only had the top albums on it and I hadn't heard any of those songs played during my drive).

I then performed an internet search with the stipulation 'lyrics "remember lyrics"' but that was fruitless. While my hearing isn't bad, per se, it is not great. What I mean is that whenever I go for a hearing test, I pass with flying colors. However, when I am in an environment with a lot of background noise and simultaneous sounds (like listening to a song and driving in my car), I have a hard time focusing on any one sound and bits and pieces get missed or misheard. So, my web search came back up with tons of potential songs none of which seemed right.

On to my next best resource: M. She has a wealth of musical knowledge and stays up on a lot of current and older songs. However, with what I was able to describe to her, she was at a loss. I then tried some of her friends, who are also good with music. Nada.

Then, low and behold, we are out shopping and the song comes on. It was some bizarre remixed version, but it was the song. Since I had two people with better hearing than me there, I asked them what the singers were saying, and they steered me in the right direction. Today, I was able to look up the song and found it on iTunes.

Now I can listen and decide whether I want to get just the song or the entire album.

BTW, it was: artist: Peter Bjorn and John album: Writer's Block song: Young Folks.

Stolen

I don't do these often, but I liked this one, so stole it from a friend's blog:

1. my real name:
John Martin

2. my gangsta name (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle.):
Johizzle

3. my detective name (favourite color and favourite animal):
Blue Lion

Blue Otter

Blue Wolf

Blue Dolphin

(I like a lot of animals -- each is a favorite for different reasons)

4. my soap opera name (your middle name and the street you live on):
Martin Las Palmas

5. my star wars name (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first):
Chejo

6. my superhero name (your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink):
Black Pepsi (hmmm-- might be more exciting if a) I drank or b) I knew any drink names)

7. my “foreign name” (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your moms middle name):
Oereumh

8. my witness protection name:
Eric Allen

9. my goth name (black, and the name of one of your pets):
Black Calypso

SNOW!

I didn't really get snow when I was here in December. But this time, I got snow! First Day!!!

Here

I made it. No really bad stories this time, although the flight from LAX to Toronto had some bad turbulence which kept me from getting any rest. Managed to catch Dreamgirls on the flight; good movie, and some great singing, but I failed to see what most of the hype was about. I'd rank it a B+ for those who like musicals and a B- for those who don't.

Used Prime Time Shuttle this time out-- the base cost was quite a bit cheaper than Super Shuttle, but did not include a tip. There were three passengers in the vehicle total, and the other two were a nice couple who were surfers on their way to follow where the waves take them in Australia. Seemed like great people, and they were real surfers-- not the cardboard cutouts who talk funny in movies, but people who really believe and live their lives with the zen-like acceptance that real surfers have. Plus, they both had been surfing from at least the 70s on, so had been doing it before most of these bad stereotypes inundated modern cinema.

I still think there has to be a better way than what we are currently doing for mass transit and the 9/11 scare. It is frustrating that, even when things go well, you see things that can be done better. Like the nice Canadian security screens who insisted I take the Tic-Tacs out of my pocket and put them in a gray bin all their own to pass through the x-ray machine. Come on-- if the metal detector doesn't go off with my white-gold ring, the medical bracelet, or the change in my pocket and buttons and zippers on it, any foil you think might be on the Tic-Tac case isn't going to do anything.

Also, with web check-in and the automated services to self-check your own bags so prevalent these days, the rules on being to the airport X hours before your flight, especially the time "needed" for international flight, are absurd. With the 2-hour rule for International flights, I arrived at the airport by 7:30 (giving me 1/2 hour to get checked in and my bags checked, if I needed it). Since I had used web check-in and printed my own boarding passes, and since I didn't have any checked bags, I walked straight to the security line, breezed through that, and then got to wait from 7:38 until 10 pm for my flight to even board. I got to watch as two complete flights boarded and took off from the same gate before my flight was even announced. It's stupid and tiring.

Also, what is the reason for having me take out the laptop from its case for the x-ray machine? Do x-rays not go through the canvas or leather bags? And, since they are going to open it up and run it through the "sniffer" for bomb-making materials anyway, separating it at the x-ray machine is superfluous.

Lastly, and this gets me every time, what is the point of sending 15 rows of people to board the plane first, not waiting for them to be seated and stowed, and sending another 15 rows down. First, do it in increments of not more than 5 rows. Then, using the walkie-talkies you are so fond of, actually relay to the front desk once all of the people are seated and stowed before sending the next 5 rows. I think it would actually be faster in the long run and would be a lot less problematic than sending 15 rows at once, and then having it all bottleneck at the first person who has to stow his stuff and find his seat. And the next 15 usually only make it down the gangplank to find they are at the end of the previous 15 who are still waiting to get on the plane because of those bottlenecks. Stupid!

We need someone who travels a lot, and not on corporate jets or using first-class, to become head of the TSA and revise the rules to make sense. We have rules designed to keep terrorists off the plane-- except they don't work. We have rules that are designed to foil weapons and bombs-- except they don't make sense. We should scrap the entire system, write a procedure that works, and then implement it. Damn the cost.

Anyway, enough soapbox. I'm here. With my loved one. Happy. And very tired.

Good News

I had my second shot today. The doctor kept me in the office for an hour and a half afterward, checking on me frequently, to ensure that I did not have an adverse reaction to it. I think he and his nurse were a little disappointed when I did not—maybe RA is one of those less interesting diseases to specialize in and they were hoping for something to enliven their day.

All I got this time was some minor tingling in my feet and a little dehydration. I was not hallucinating, feeling heavy, feverish, suffering from a rapid heart beat or high blood pressure, or any of the other symptoms I had after the first injection. So, slightly dejected about not having an emergency to deal with but also happy that I can continue taking this medication, the doctor let me go to work. I am cleared to continue taking it.

My next two injections are scheduled for while I am back east. Since I have the luxury of having someone with me, I will alter my schedule slightly and take it in the evening so I can relax afterward and she can be there to watch me. I don’t think it will be needed, but it is nice to have that precaution available. And what a sweet precaution she is!

Beat One, One to Go

I managed to beat the NWN2 game last night. The final battle is pretty epic, in that you are supposed to control nearly all of the companions you have accrued during your time playing the game. In addition, you are fighting against some extremely high-level villains who have a variety of skills.

Then, once you complete the first battle, you get a moment to rest and save the game, and then the next villain comes out. Once he’s defeated, another set of mobs attack you before you have an opportunity to do much of anything. Then, the final mob attacks. All during these battles, you have to pay attention to the clues being spoken by various members of your party as you need to destroy statues, destroy portals, and use certain abilities in order to be successful. And, with the mobs and number of characters you are trying to control, those messages may fly by very quickly.

All in all, I felt that the graphics were much better and the rules engine superior to that found in NWN (and its add-ons). However, NWN was a more fun game to play, as the story made more sense and you had more choices as a player of what to do and where to go. NWN2 really forced you into a linear progression that had few variations even if you played once as a Lawful Good character and the next time as a Chaotic Evil character. Basically, there are three chapters and you have some “evil” choices/directions in chapter 2 you can make—but the story is the same; you are just playing on the other side of the cut scenes and conversations. There is something wrong with a game when you get nearly the same minions and missions as a paragon of light and goodness or as a scion of darkness and evil!

Also, when the game was first installed and the first few game updates were available, the game engine ran smoothly and without any noticeable hitches on what was determined as the “standard” setup for my CPU, memory, and graphics card. However, after the most recent update (1.04), my game play shot to hell and I had to disable many of the features that I could run with no difficulties prior. Also, I went from having smooth transitions and virtually no errors or crashes to jerky transitions that took much longer to load, errors, and the occasional crash. I have a pretty solid gaming machine, so I can only imagine how tough it was on others with lesser or borderline machines.

The fights against the Red Dragon, Fire giants, and the fight against the two Black dragons were really well-done and nice—almost worth the price of the game alone. However, I don’t think this game has much replay value. I will probably uninstall it from my system now that I have beaten it.

As a brief aside: If only they could make a game that was in-between Elder Scrolls and the two NWN. A game with great play- /replay ability, awesome graphics, some ability to play online with friends or networked (doesn’t have to be as complete as with a fully online game), and the option to follow the main storyline or do more of your own thing. I mean, I would love to play Morrowind with my friends online; the ability to create nearly any character and do nearly anything would rock the house. Or, a DnD-based game that has true “modules” that you can run with your character, instead of being a persistent world online (ddo.com) or limited focus/scope storyline (NWN2). Wouldn’t it be great to buy the equivalent of NWN, get some friends together, download and play a fully-tested and complete module?

So, after beating that game, I turned my attention back to City of Heroes. I played for an hour last night and got one tenth of the way to level 50-- only about 4.2 million XP to go. I am close to reaching the end of the level progression in that game and unlocked the two new archetypes for use.

Been Tagged

I apparently was tagged. I am tasked with writing 10 quirky, odd, weird, or unusual things about me. Most people I know would likely say just writing my name would be enough. ;-)

Let's see what/how many I can come up with:

1. I have predominantly awful dreams. However, many of these "nightmares" have really weird themes to them: like the recurring dream that I am living in 29, the Cubans parachute in to take over (ala Red Dawn), and the Godzilla comes trampling over everything. Yes, Godzilla -- and in my dream it doesn't look any more real than it does in the Toho movies.
2. When people sleep near me (same room or within a room or two), they tend to not remember their dreams or have generally pleasant dreams-- while my dreams get worse. A few friends have actually called me a "dreamcatcher" because of this.
3. While visiting England on a tour, Chris M. dared me to streak through our floor of the hotel. I said what the hell, took off every stitch of clothing, and casually walked an entire circuit around our floor. I learned two important things that day: 1. people at that time in England tended to leave their doors open and be up and about at 10 pm at night and 2. they didn't mind seeing a skinny white American walking buck-naked through their hotel. Oh, a third thing-- cute cockney-accented girls have very nice things to say to and about skinny, naked American boys walking through hotels. >:-)
   
4. I have a strange fascination with, and attraction to, fire. As a child, my family pretty much always let me light the fires (and M has learned to do the same). I can sit mesmerized by the flames for long periods.
5. In grade school, there were two groups of guys from my block who walked to school. On the way, we would often have "rock wars" (isn't it amazing that young boys would think throwing and being hit by large stones before school is fun? I wince a little at this memory). I have a natural sidearm delivery when throwing and one day, with Chris E. and I were on the far side of Mesquite Springs Rd and Doyle D. and his buddy on the close side, we were chucking rocks. I didn't see a car coming and threw a rock-- and, because of my sidearm delivery, I threw the rock through the open window on my side and it came out the open window on the other side and still nearly hit Doyle! Everyone saw that, we were all amazed, all agreed I couldn't do that if I tried to, and then ganged up and walked to school.
6. The very first time I tried water skiing (at the Colorado River with the Cole family), I strapped on the skis, they explained what was going to happen, I popped right up, did three circuits of the inlet we were in, and then stopped. I then proclaimed that I had mastered skiing, I didn't understand what all the fuss was about, and I have never water skied again. Afterward, I fell asleep on my stomach on a lounge chair and got the worst sunburn of my life; it involved large, puss-filled blisters and deep red flesh. Mom and my sister got to take turns seeing how large a piece of my flesh they could remove when it started peeling.
7. One day while jogging with mom and Mr. Cole on Highway 62 east of Utah Trail, I hit the "runners high" they talk about and felt like I could run forever. I have had a very similar out-of-body experience when drawing, painting, and writing a few times.
8. At my sister's wedding there were only a handful of us from the west coast there. When it came time to throw the garter, I was reluctantly pushed out to stand at the far end of the line. Scott threw the garter and, like magic, it curved and curved. I pointed at it and started to say something when the garter ringed my finger and I reflexively closed my hand on it. When my sister threw the bouquet, her maid of honor and a fellow west-coaster, Mary, caught it. With all the PA people there versus the few CA, it is strange that two CA people caught the items. Oh, and I still have the garter.
   
9. Wristwatch batteries don't last very long in watches I am wearing. I get this trait from my mother. A 5-year lithium battery will generally last about a year or two. Cheap batteries can go dead within a year. Also, we both go through vacuums like tissue paper; can't get one that consistently works or doesn't need constant maintenance.
10. While in college, there was a creepy guy who moved into our dorm wing. Before we realized how creepy (let's put it this way-- we wouldn't leave any of the female residents alone if he was around and the police became involved at one point), we all just sort of avoided him. One day I was showering in the handicap stall (we had two stalls total and no handicapped people, so it wasn't like I was interfering with a disabled person's ability to shower), I had just finished and was drying off when I heard someone come in and start brushing his teeth. Then I heard someone else come in and start talking to the first-- and it was El Creepo. The voice that answered was my friend and roommate, Chris L. Thinking it wouldn't last long, I just quietly finished drying off, wrapped the towel around myself, and waited. They talked for a solid 20-30 minutes, the creepy guy going off in many random and bizarre directions. Finally, Chris managed to extricate himself from the conversation and they both left. By this time, I was sitting on the floor in the shower stall, still with the curtain closed. I then left the stall and went back to our room (which was directly across from the bathroom). I don't think Chris has ever completely forgiven me for that one! In my defense, the last thing I wanted was to be accosted by the Creepy One virtually naked!!

I don't think I am going to tag anyone else. I'll just let you enjoy these revelations.

TV Outcomes

The following blurb was on the IMDB.com website for Friday, March 9, 2007:

More Revelations About British Broadcast Scam

In what is fast becoming a scandal involving virtually all of Britain's major broadcasters, London newspapers today (Friday) revealed new allegations that programs featuring competitions in which viewers pay a telephone fee to vote on the outcome have been rigged. Alistair Graham, head of ICSTIS, which regulates premium-rate telephone lines in the U.K., accused some TV producers of engaging in "semi-fraudulent behavior" and confirmed that ICSTIS was currently looking into allegations of fraud affecting ITV, Channel 4, Channel 5, and the BBC. "If we have any evidence in which we believe there is a possibility that a criminal offense has been committed, we have very close links with the City of London police and I can assure you that we will refer such evidence to them to investigate." Meanwhile, the producer of the quiz show Brainteaser apologized Thursday after disclosures that the Channel 5 program ran bogus contests on at least five occasions and said that viewers who paid $1.50 to phone the program would receive refunds. The program is produced by the seemingly suitably named Cheetah television, a division of Endemol, producers of Big Brother. (NOTE: In Thursday's edition we incorrectly noted that Big Brother airs in the U.K. on Channel 5; it airs on Channel 4.)

Anyone who doesn't realize that these outcomes aren't at least partially rigged is an idiot. It is like people believing that pro wrestling is "real;" they are deluding themselves.

Big Brother, American (or other) Idol, Survivor and any other of this type of show is inherently biased: they want to be a ratings success. In order to be a hit in the ratings, you have to stage, control, and pre-determine some or all of the show. If you don't have the bitch/bastard that pushes everyone's buttons, you don't have the high drama. If you don't have the sweet and somewhat naive innocent, the hard-luck case, the overcomes-enormous-obstacles person, you don't have the audience's sympathy. You need decent people with no real charisma or charm to be cannon fodder.

Watch Survivor critically, and then flip to any drama on TV, and you can see incredibly similar storytelling devices in place. You see the same craftsmanship and plot hooks used. The producer's primary goal, after all, is to entertain.

Now, look back at the many articles over the years of "technical difficulties" with the phone lines for these call-in-and-vote type shows. Every one of them has had it occur at least once. Some have also had reports of subversive or inaccurate phone numbers displayed. Some have had problems where the East Coast would show one set of phone numbers and the West Coast another. Others have had "power outages" happen that make the tally inaccurate. What about the hints and suggestions of collusions between crew and cast on the shows? Does anyone remember the quiz-show scandals, both minor and major, of the 40s? The 50s? How about the 60s? Producers and creators have been manipulating these shows from the earliest days of television. Our "games," and their manipulations, are just a little more sophisticated now.

The volume of people who have left reality and game shows admitting that scenes were re-staged, re-shot, or edited in such a way as to be misleading or inaccurate is pretty consistent. Some have even hinted or accused the show's production of actually scripting outcomes or manipulating the contestants directly. This is the reason why the producers make the contestants sign some of the most stringent gag orders in the business; they don't want the audience to know just how much is fake.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-"reality" show. I couldn't care less what people watch, as long as I have the option of watching (or doing) something else. If you like these shows and are entertained, great for you. Just remember that entertainment is the point of the show. They have to keep the audiences coming back show to show and season to season.

Pro wrestlers are still incredible athletes even if the matches and outcomes are staged. Likewise, the producers of American Idol (or any other reality program) would not have a product if the contestants on them weren't talented, smart, engaging, and unique people. Even if the outcomes are partially or wholly pre-determined, the people chosen for these shows have talent-- it wouldn't work otherwise. It is just silly to think that the producers don't coax that talent, groom it, and script sequences to play to certain contestants strengths and weaknesses so that the show follows the general course the producers want. Do you honestly think that the producers really miss such glaring problems during the background check as always seem to crop up season to season with some contestant? Is American Idol, Survivor, and Big Brother really using such poor fact checking agencies that they can't find a DUI, a battery charge, or prison stay during a person's background check? Come on, we all know better-- or should.

In the end, these shows are entertainment and nothing more. If you choose to buy into the "reality" of what is presented, so be it. That's your choice. But to then be shocked when the curtain is pulled back and we get a glimpse of the man behind is somewhat absurd.

Follow Up

I amazed Renee today. I walked into her office and said, "I need to show you something...." I then proceeded to lift both arms easily over my head. I did two pseudo-deep knee bends. I lifted one leg and rotated the foot 180 degrees, and was able to flex both hands from a full fist to completely stretched out.

Now, for the average human being, these acts are not usually a problem or very difficult. However, in early December, my RA kicked up and my medications slowed down and I have been having increasing difficulty and pain. My range of movement was affected.

My RA doctor agreed that the medication was no longer effective and we quickly worked on getting approval for a new medication. This was finally approved and I took it for the first time this week, on Wednesday. It didn't go so well.

However, the medication is working. As you can see from the range of movement I mention above, the majority of the swelling and pain has been removed, I take the stairs with little to no pain, I can move and stretch in ways I haven't been able to for awhile, and I am feeling much more chipper and full of energy because I am not in constant pain. I feel like I can bowl again (anyone who knows me well knows how positive a statement that is).

I spoke with my RA doctor about the ER visit on Wednesday. We came to an agreement that, because the medication appears to be working so well, we will try administering it again under controlled circumstances and hope that my body is getting used to it and I do not react in such a violent way again. If so, then this will become my medication for now. If not, then we have to work on another solution. So, on Tuesday, I will go to my doctor's office, we will administer the next injection, and then I will hang out in the office for a minimum of an hour to see if anything happens or if I have a reaction. If I do, they can treat me there for it or they can run me the block up the street to the ER at St. Joseph's and get me treatment there. Either way, I am confident I will get the immediate treatment that might be required should things go wrong.

I am cautiously optimistic that I will not react so poorly this time and this medication will continue to be a solid choice in the weeks and months ahead. Hopefully a week of this medication circulating through my body will ease the next injection and it will not be such a shock.

Fun Time

I scared M, my mother, my friends, and most of the people at work today. Today was the first day to take my new medication for my RA. Having never taken it before, and it coming in an injectable syringe, I had to go into my doctor's office to have them show me how to take it.

The nurse/practitioner showed me, answered a few questions I had, and then sent me on my merry way. Took me about 30 minutes to drive to work from there and, as I neared work, I started to feel a little funny. Couldn't put a finger on how, exactly, though.

Over the next 10-20 minutes I got bad fast. Felt "heavy" (I mean that literally, I felt like my arms weighed a ton and I kept stooping over because my head was too heavy to lift), I got flushed and hot, a rash developed on my chest and back, I was hallucinating, and dizzy. I asked Renee, my boss, if she knew if there was somewhere I could lie down. She didn't know, so I contact Tom in Facilities. Tom came up immediately, asked how I was doing, and made the executive decision that he needed to call 911 just in case it was a more severe reaction than it seemed.

The EMTs arrived, led by Jim. The great thing about EMTs-- they spend most of their day waiting with almost nothing to do. So when the call comes in, they leap on it. It felt like there were 15 people there assisting me. It was likely closer to 6-7, but still-- a lot of people. Firemen, EMTs, ambulance personnel-- they all came running! Jim asked me questions while Tom and others helped shoo the many well wishers and curious away from my cube. They verified the rash, the temperature, fast heart rate, and high blood pressure. Jim kept talking to me and asking me questions.

Aside: I respect the hell out of any person who selects fire, police, EMT, medicine, and the military as his/her career. It takes special people.

They put me on oxygen, which cleared quite a bit of my fuzziness within a few minutes, but I still wasn't feeling great. They gave me a ride downstairs on a gurney, and then to a nearby ER for good measure. During the ride, Kevin mentioned my BP as 180 over "palp" which is exceptionally high for me. And this was down from whatever they read in the office, so I was doing poorly, but improving. My resting heart rate was stated as 96, which also is pretty fast for someone just laying down not doing anything. My temp was 100 something, so was elevated. They were great; answering my many, many, many annoying questions patiently and working like true professionals.

Aside: I guess I should mention: I tend to talk when I'm tired, anxious, and not feeling well. I am on record as having continued to talk after passing out in gym class as well as continuing to talk and ask questions with an endoscopy tube down my throat and "twilight" medication in me-- Doctor Ennis is still amused by that one.

In the ER, Doctor Lin and Nurse Carl took over. Carl was exceptional; bright and articulate in explaining what was happening, clear in what he wanted me to do, and extremely professional and competent. He put me at ease fairly quickly.

At this point, my blood pressure dropped down to 150 over "palp" and my heart rate was down to the high 80s. My temp was still a bit over the place, as now I was fairly cold. On an average day, if you take my temperature, I'm usually a bit below the supposed average, usually around 97.5-9. They read me as 96. That's at least a 4 degree swing in less than an hour. Soon my temperature was back in a normal range and under control.

The rash slowly left me and the flushed look of my flesh took about 40 minutes or so to leave. My fuzziness and hallucinations lasted quite a bit longer, and the strange heaviness didn't go away for awhile, either.

They hooked me up to an IV of saline and that made a huge difference. At this point, I was feeling mostly well, but they still checked my heart (all strong/good) and took a chest x-ray (clear) just to be sure. They took some blood and analyzed that, as well (nothing unusual). As more of the fluids got into me, they took off the oxygen and I rapidly improved from there.

My buddy Chris arrived; apparently my friend Robert, with whom I work, saw the EMT activity at my cubicle (how could he miss it-- he's two cubes over or so) and was worried, so spoke with Renee and forwarded an email to all my CA friends with what was going on. As soon as he found out where I was taken, he passed that along as well. Chris happens to work a couple blocks north of that hospital, so took some time off and came to sit with me. Although Tom stayed with me through the entire event and is a work friend, it was nice that a personal friend could make the time.

Meanwhile, Renee phoned both M and my mom, letting them know what had happened. M was, understandably, upset, but it sounds like her new work-mate, Scott, was able to help her through it until I could call with a more personal update. I actually got a call forwarded to me while in the ER from my mom, asking if she needed to drive down. She had made arrangements to leave work if needed and could be there in an hour and half (probably less-- she knows how to move when needed!). I told her I didn't think it would be needed, so we arranged to speak later in the afternoon after she was off work.

With Tom and Chris keeping my spirits up and the saline working through me, I came out okay. Dr. Lin said they couldn't find anything. He did say that not one of my symptoms was a typical allergic reaction to this medication. However, anyone who knows me knows that if anyone is going to have the ".001%" reaction to something, it's me. I get that from my mother. Part of what makes me special. ;-)

This all happened starting about 9:00 am this morning. I was to the ER by sometime shortly after that. The ER held onto me until about 1pm, at which time Tom drove me home. Doctor's orders are to take it easy, drink lots of fluids, and let them know if anything flares up or I have any symptoms reoccur.

Aside: I'm trying to be as accurate as I can about the times, but I was a bit "floaty" due to the hallucinations and dizziness. So take them with a grain of salt.

All in all, it was much ado about nothing. However, I wouldn't trade the response I got for the world. Tom did the right thing, as having someone take me home or to the ER personally would have left the company open to lawsuits if anything should have gone even more wrong. And, of course, it may not have been a simple reaction to a new medication that went away in a couple of hours. I'd rather have someone overreact than not react enough and something bad happens.

However, I am once again struck by the quality of the people in my life.

• M was obviously upset and concerned and couldn't wait for me to call her. While she denigrates herself constantly by saying she is too emotional and doesn't handle these types of situations well, I found her to be strong, calm, and comforting and she put me at ease immediately. Of course, as she'll likely say, I'm biased. Very, very biased. ;-)
  
• Mom was willing to drop everything and come down if needed-- and she's a teacher, not something you can easily drop on a dime. But family always is first and foremost in her life.
  
• Chris showed why he is my best friend by dropping whatever he was doing and coming to just sit with me and keep me company.
• Robert shared important info around to everyone he could think of so that they knew. He is one of the most compassionate and caring people you could meet-- if you're his friend or family, he will do anything to help you. Period.
  
• Tom was both professional and a good friend by doing everything by the book but also staying with me through the event and keeping my spirits up. While he kept saying "it's my job" my only response is this: No, Tom, you definitely went above and beyond and I appreciate it. Oh, and M: Tom passes on congrats on our nuptials. He only wishes he could have performed the ceremony. :-)
  

Many people don't get the chance or make the time to evaluate their lives and those with whom they associate. Unfortunately, some of my health concerns have made me constantly evaluate both. And my conclusion has never changed: I have the best people around me. Each one is smart, compassionate, and caring. Quality, every one of them! And I have a great life; it must be great if these people are my family and friends! Having these health concerns has, in many ways, made me a better person and certainly has helped me to appreciate everyone in my life.

Thank you for showing the quality of your character and for helping me through another rough time.

***

Oh, and as an aside to anyone who cares-- my feet don't hurt. The medication may just be working! Dr. Lee, the one who prescribed it, will call me tomorrow and we'll discuss what my options are.

Pretty Woman

Last night I walked by the picture of you I have hanging by the front
door. For whatever reason, I was particularly struck by how grateful I
am to have such a wonderful woman in my life and in my heart.

I stopped and looked more closely. Once again I marveled to myself
that such an attractive and caring woman would be available when we
met and would be willing to try me out and see if we were a match.

This led me to think about our first in-person meeting, and the
nervousness we started with and the joy in each other we found later.
I thought about my first visit to SJ, meeting your family and friends
(who all turned out to be such nice people). Our trips to DHS and 29.
Our recent visit to get "library cards."

I am so, so lucky that you found me and made me yours.

I love you.

What Are They Thinking?

I just walked into the men's room upstairs here at work, turned the
corner, and heard the squelching of my shoes on wet tile. Looking
around, I saw -- how should I put this -- a lot of liquid and very
little water all over the floor by the urinals and the sinks.

We are supposed to all be adults here. I shouldn't have to deal with the
bathroom looking and smelling like the ones I was forced to use in
grade-school.

I can't help but wonder: what if I had been a client here for training?
What if I was a prospective client touring the business to see if I
wanted to hire this company? One look at that mess and I would likely
say thanks, but no. Is the behavior in here indicative of the behavior
these people have for their software, product, clients?

Even giving the benefit of the doubt that a urinal overflowed (which I
doubt-- I would assume a lot more water and a lot less "other" if that
happened), why wouldn't the person there when the problem happened tell
Facilities so it could be cleaned up? Why wouldn't they put a quick note
on the door that it is off-limits or in need of work? Something, so I
don't walk into that kind of mess.

How a person treats a bathroom they do not need to clean or take care of
says a lot about the character of the person involved.

And What She Said, Too

Read this post.

And I'll add...

(Prior to the ceremony)

And...

(Saying the vows to each other)

And...

(You may kiss the bride... and I did)

And...

(Happy couple with ceremony adjudicator, Gloria)

And...

(Happy couple with groom's mom)

And...

(After the ceremony, out front of the Courthouse)

Was a good day. A very good day.

Now, on to the paperwork....

NUMB3RS

I have enjoyed the show Numbers from its inception. It was a clever idea with a star I enjoyed since I first watched him on Northern Exposure (still one of the best shows ever-- well, okay, until the last season or so), Rob Morrow. The premise is this: a group of FBI agents in Los Angeles needs help from the lead agent's brother, a mathematics prodigy. Using math as a guiding principal, they solve crimes.

Admittedly, the premise seemed a little Schoolhouse Rock at first, as they forced these mathematical principals into every show. It seemed almost like an hour long "stay in school" special at times. But slowly the characters (and writers/directors) hit a groove and made the two disparate ideas (math and crime fighting) work together. The actors also hit a groove. Even one of my least favorite actresses, due to her seeming inability to emote on screen, Diane Farr, has hit a nice groove with her character and the rest of the actors.

Lately, however, the show has taken a turn recently with the introduction of Rob Morrow's lead FBI agent, Don, having anger issues and not letting anyone in to help him. He sabotaged relationships and it seemed like the character might be written off the show.

The last episode, called "One Hour," had the rest of his team helping an abducted child while Don was in for an hour long session with a shrink he decided to see. Without feeling forced or put on, while Don was describing how he sees his team members, they had opportunities to shine in those areas within the child abduction story. It allowed Don to realize where his anger was coming from while also allowing the team to show how good they can (and someday will) be without Don as their leader. It hit the exact right balance between each character, the writing, and the math. It feels like they can move forward with the solid foundation they have.

It is funny when a show hits the exact right "feel" to it. I cannot always point to any one thing as being why, but I just know it from watching the episode. Most shows continue in that vein until something happens. Some shows, like Studio 60, hit and then miss it again. Others are canceled before or even after they finally hit that stride (Enterprise was one such victim-- they struggled at first, but then finally hit a good balance in the last 4-6 episodes before cancellation). Numbers has always been a quality show, but with hits and misses. This last episode really hit a stride and hope the remaining shows this season are able to keep that going.

The Bard Couldn't Be More Wrong...

Parting is not “sweet sorrow”—it is one of the most unnatural and wrenching experiences. And it is getting old. Yes, we are sorrowful, but there is little “sweet” involved when you know you won’t see your honey for a month or more. You love a person and you expect to be with that person. Constantly leaving isn’t getting easier, even if we are getting more “comfortable” (re: resigned, acquiescent, reconciled) with the process involved.

 

We are doing what we can, working on the paperwork, collecting the data, making a note of the questions we have for our lawyer, and will, hopefully, get this process worked out swiftly.

 

The end of March cannot come soon enough for me!

What She Said...

Read this post.

Something to Think About

I wrote the following to a friend and it struck me as a pretty good comment on people and our lives today:

One thing that a lot of people forget is that, when things get the most hectic and an individual is feeling the most overwhelmed with what is going on, is the time they need their friends and family the most. Yet most human beings tend to try to go it alone and become distant from just those sources of comfort and assistance that they could use.

Side Effects

I decided on Monday to spray some orange all-purpose cleaner and degreaser on my grill, as I had not cleaned it in a long time and you could barely tell that there was a window in the front, let alone see any of the instructions or temperature settings on the panel with the gas nobs. With the intention of coming back after 10 minutes or so to wipe off the grill, I sprayed the orange cleaner all over the outside, then on the appropriate places on the inside, and then on the gas tank.

However, I never made it back to wipe it down.

As I sprayed the cleaner, I felt something odd. When I looked down, places on my hand had split open where the somewhat leaky spray bottle was dripping cleaner. I had a large patch of dry skin everywhere where they cleaner had touched my flesh. I was even bleeding at a couple of the cracks. My hand burned a bit and it felt generally uncomfortable.

I had used this particular cleaner quite a few times in the past. I liked it for both its strength and the citrus orange scent. I couldn't remember it ever wounding me in this manner before, so I was a bit surprised that it would hinder me now.

I went into the kitchen and thoroughly washed my hand clean of the cleaning solution and dried it completely on a new, unused towel. While the slight burning sensation went away after washing, the dry patch and the cracking of my flesh was still apparent, so I got some lotion and rubbed that onto my hand. It took about an hour after applying the lotion for the hand to start feeling normal, at which time I re-washed it and re-applied lotion to the area.

Today, it looks fine. While there are two small spots where blood dried and formed a clot (very, very small, but I mention them for completeness), the rest of the area no longer looks dry, chapped, or cracked open.

Not sure what happened between the last time I used that cleaner and this weekend, but I think my opinion of it has changed a bit. I am considering dumping the rest down the drain and finding a new all-purpose cleaner to use. I probably should give it one more chance and see if something similar happens; that reaction could have been relating to something outside of the cleaner and may be only a one-time occurrence.

However, I forgot to go out and wipe down the grill, so it is likely just as dirty looking as before. Especially as it was covered in what I am sure was slightly-sticky cleaner and a small breeze was blowing.

Cravings

I find it odd how we suddenly crave things. I am experiencing the second strong craving I've had in the past couple of weeks.

About two weeks ago and lasting for a little over a week, I was craving salty things. Pickles, chips, pizza, meat, Top Ramen-- anything I could get my hands on that was salty.

This past week that craving died and a new one emerged: chocolate milk. Between Wednesday and today I have consumed a gallon and a half of milk, all as chocolate milk. Today I went to the grocery store, got 4 more half gallon jugs, finished the previous set's gallon and am about half-way through one of the new one's at 2 pm. For me, this means two large scoops of Nesquik chocolate milk powder which is hand-stirred into a glass of milk. You keep the spoon and continue to stir as you drink the milk.

I do not prefer Hershey's syrup, which I know some people use to make choco milk. To me, it doesn't mix as well with the milk and doesn't give the best saturation of chocolate flavoring throughout the glass. However, I also understand proponents of Hershey's syrup when they say that the powders sometimes clump together and can be a little gritty. To each their own.

Back to my main topic; what could it mean that I can't get enough of this particular drink? Is my body craving even more calcium than I usually intake? That's hard to believe with the amount I consume normally. Does it say something that I have gone from salt to milk?

What will the next craving be? And, possibly most important, am I pregnant???!!

;-)

Fun

Last February, my arthritis doctor switched me to sulfasalazine. This medication worked generally well until October. He increased the dose from 1 pill twice a day (2 pills total) to 3 pills a day (I could decide whether it was two in the morning and one at night or the other way). He said if I didn’t see improvement by January 1 to increase to 2 pills twice a day (4 pills total). He scheduled a return visit for February.

I followed his instructions. When I saw absolutely no benefits to three pills a day by January 1, I increased my dose to 4 pills a day. It is now the middle of February and I am still suffering through pretty bad bouts of arthritis pain and swelling.

The doctor gave me a new script for the drug so I could get the correct amount. As I had plenty of refills on the existing script, I waited to turn in the medication until January and just got my prescriptions a bit more often during the 3 pills a day dosing. Increasing the dose again in January meant I couldn’t really do that any more—I needed to start getting the correct amount, as I didn’t want to pay the copay on new prescriptions every 15 days. However, I needed to call the insurance company and explain the situation and find out if they would require anything or have any issues. So I continued to get the original script through the end of January while I contacted them and went about my business. (Mistake number 1.)

Once the insurance question was answered, I went to my Sav-On pharmacy a couple of weeks ago. I very patiently explained to the “receptionist” person and then the head pharmacist that I had an existing script for 2 pills a day and my dosage had increased, so I needed to use the new script to update the existing script to 4 pills a day. The first woman didn’t understand what I meant, but the head pharmacist knew exactly what I needed. He described what needed to happen to the girl, and then left her to type his instructions. Unfortunately, it worked out that I had just picked up a prescription a few days earlier, so I didn’t need it refilled at that time; I just needed her to update the script so that, when I refilled it, it would have the correct number of pills. (Mistake number 2).

A little over a week ago, I received an automated call that I needed to pick up my prescription before they cancelled and restocked it. I called immediately. The boy on the phone was denser than a neutron star—no matter how I described the situation to him, he just wasn’t getting it. I spoke to someone else and explained what had happened, what was supposed to happen, and that I didn’t, at that time, need the script filled. This person understood, said she was taking care of it, and all would be right with the world. (Mistake number 3).

This week my prescription got low enough to reorder, so I called the pharmacy, used the automated refill service, and went to pick up my prescription today. They had filled it, but at the previous amounts (2 pills a day total). I explained the entire thing again to the girl working the counter; the same girl who, even though I spelled my last name (I don’t pronounce it to people, I simply spell it), couldn’t find my prescription under “S” on the shelf. Of course, there is no “S” in my name-- anywhere. Idiot.

Nancy, the best counter-worker there, was listening and she came over to help. She knows me by name. She looked up everything in the computer and discovered that the person I spoke with on the phone had simply canceled the new script.

She was smart and capable enough to understand what I needed. She said that she had to cancel the old script and replaced it with the new script. She then had the pharmacist on-call stop what he was doing, verify everything, and put double the remaining amount in the jar so I could pay and leave.

What is frustrating is not that it took so many people to get it right, that I was lied to, or that I had to deal with such stupid people. It is that:

• Each person seemed to get to a point where they understood what I was saying, in agreement with what needed to be done, and then did something—that didn’t help the situation.
• My next arthritis doctor appointment is next week, on Tuesday, and it is very likely the doctor will switch me to a different medication, making all of this moot; the increase in medication has not helped. I have been taking the 4 pills a day for a month and a half and I am in more pain today than I have been for quite some time. It appears this medication just isn’t cutting it for me and we’ll have to try something else.

She Wasn't That Special

Okay, enough!

Anna Nicole Smith was not a smart woman. She was not a particularly attractive woman. She was certainly not a talented woman. She was mostly famous for being famous and for taking off her clothes.

She was a mess, financially and personally, by all accounts. Her reality-TV show pointed out all her flaws. She was certainly not the second coming of Marilyn. Get over it.

She is not and was not worthy of this non-stop eulogy with which the media is inundating us. She was an odd woman who led an odd life and died an odd death. A one-paragraph note at the end of the celebs section of the newspaper or at the end of that day's Insider TV show is all this warrants.

And, to the now 6 men who all think they may be ANS's baby's father I have this to say: get a freaking life! This is not your moment of fame. Get out of the limelight and back under the rocks form which you crawled.

Rain

This morning I awoke while it was still dark and heard the pitter-patter of the rain on the lane below my window. It slowly lulled me back into a state of light, happy sleep from which I was able to open my eyes a few times without breaking the sleep cycle.

I don't know what it is, but rain usually makes for a more pleasant rest and an easier, slower awakening in the morning. Especially when it is a light, long rain rather than the thunderstorms we typically received in my home town; wherein the sky would unzipper and a torrent would fall for ten to thirty minutes, and then cease and dry up as though no rain had ever fallen.

Also, the cloud cover tends to make it a bit darker in the morning, so it is easier on my eyes to awaken without the glare of the sun impinging itself onto my retinas.

I am sitting in my front room, thinking about making some hot cocoa and with the blinds open so I can watch and wonder at the rain falling softly from the sky.

What a great way to start a lazy Sunday.