Idle Thoughts

In no particular order

1. It is remarkable just how much I enjoy spending time with M. We do not even need to be doing anything—just hanging out while I watch TV and she reads a book (or whatever).
2. My buddy Marcus and his wife are very much on my mind. If you need anything Marcus, let me know.
3. M is really, really good at laundry. Even with my screwy setup. First time in awhile that everything I own is clean all at the same time!
4. M seems to put up with me even when my best laid plans go a little awry. The Chuck Jones Gallery to which I attempted to take her said on their answering machine that they were open Tuesday through Saturday. When we arrived, the sign on the door said Open Wednesday through Sunday. *sigh
5. TMJ sucks. It is like spraining your ankle, only it is in your jaw. Ow! Soft foods, Ibuprofen, and some simple stretching exercises for the next week should, hopefully, take care of it. *fingers crossed
6. Our time together is half over already. It is always way too little time.
7. While M loves, absolutely loves, the weather here, I don’t think that will be a big enough draw to get her to come here. Which I’m ok with, but I will be a little sad to leave So Cal. I’ve lived here all my life.
8. I get more exercise at M’s home than I do at my apartment. At her home, I have to constantly go up and down the stairs, there are activities like mowing the lawn, shoveling snow, and chopping wood to do, and it is more than 11 steps from end to end. The sheer size of her place, compared to mine, keeps me more active. I like that.
9. M has strengths in all the areas I have weakness.
10. I wonder, after having met and petted Calypso, if M would let Caly move with me. She’s right; I would probably miss the cat if I moved without her. At the same time, I’m a bit tired of being a pet owner—I’ve had pets for most of my life and the constant maintenance and care they require can be trying. Especially when you need someone to look after a pet when you go to Canada.
11. I did a crappy job of shaving my head this morning. Mind wasn’t on task.
12. Hope I bowl well tonight.
13. I think that M has revised her opinion of See's Candy. ;-)

The First Full Day

Well, the day I was most "dreading" -- due to stress and relative importance -- seems to have gone pretty well. We met the parents and she liked them and they seem to like her. Yay!

The day didn't start so well; M had a hard time sleeping her first night here. Lots of new noises and things to get used to, plus the time difference was skewing her internal clock. She hardly slept at all. Also, after phlegmy guy and whatnot, she woke up not feeling completely well.

However, she persevered. I think the Krispy Kreme helped a bit, and then finally making it to the desert and the heat, being able to walk around, and getting a good sandwich at Ruby's all perked her up and she was running smoothly.

Meanwhile, mom navigated us all around Palm Springs and nearby cities. We saw many star's homes, a lot of swanky places, and some neat shops.

One bad note-- after we left Ruby's M realized that she had left her camera at the table. We happened to be driving by the restaurant on our way to other destinations, so I pulled over the vehicle, mom jumped out and hustled inside, while we circled the block (no parking along that road). As we came back around, there was mom with the camera. Tragedy averted! Mom's a hero! M is relieved.

Dad remained mostly quiet, just enjoying the drive, the stops, and learning about M.

Anyway, we saw the desert, we saw the houses of the rich and famous, we saw the River (an outside mall), and we saw mom's school.

Everything went as well or better than I could have expected.

*big sigh of relief

The little adventure on the way back to the apartment occurred when the Gas Warning Light came on in my truck and I decided to push it the last 35 miles to see if we would make it. M was a bit worried, as I learned that was something about which she always worried as a child, but she trusted my confidence. Sure enough, we were on fumes as we pulled into the gas station a mile from the apartment, but we made it.

I'll let M fill you in on the woman in Albertson's with the bread.

GF is in the House

She's HEEEEERRRRRRREEEEEE!


(yay)


(happy dance (have to do it here, as she won't let me do it in front of her))

Twice is a Trend

Have you ever heard the phrase "Once is a fluke (or lucky), twice is a trend, and three times is a streak?"

Well, last week I wore The Shirt and our team broke our funk and went 3-1. Both Tai and Arvin bowled well and I had a nice night. Tonight, we went 4-0. Arvin bowled well in two games, and on average in the other; Jean had a very nice night, above average in two games with one nearly 150; and Lilia, Tai's girlfriend who was filling in for him, bowled her two highest games ever (113 and 107).

Your humble narrator (a-hem! It's my story, and I say I'm humble, dammit) bowled a very nice 179, 225, 225 for a 629 series and a 209 average.

So, obviously, I have to wear The Shirt next week to see if it becomes a streak.

Of course, next week has a secondary challenge, as the person who got me The Shirt will actually be there to meet the bowling team and watch me bowl. No pressure, eh?

The Accumulation of Years

Until I agreed to host my girlfriend at my apartment, I did not realize how much I had accumulated over the years. With the exception of the past year (from November 2004 through about August 2005), I have generally been a neat and tidy person. My mother got me in the habit of doing cleaning every weekend as a child, and, except for that period, I have maintained that habit. I by no means mean that you would not find piles here and there, but everything was kept tidy, the floor was vacuumed, the bathroom clean, things dusted, etc. If you stopped by on a Saturday, the place tended to be the worst because I usually designate Sunday as my cleaning day.

I did not realize either how much stuff I owned or how single-person oriented where I lived was until I felt the need to get the apartment “in shape” for her visit. The cleaning started a few months ago and has been going non-stop since. I have thrown away volumes of stuff; rid myself of one 4-drawer filing cabinet and another 4-shelf shelving unit full of stuff; and I have cleared half of the unwanted stuff out of my bedroom closet and two large boxes of stuff out of the front closet.

And yet, every time I turn around, I see something that looks like I have not even touched it. It is ridiculously frustrating.

I will not even mention the damage the two years my cat was sick caused, or the constant upkeep the shedding and other pet-ownership issues still cause.

The thing that makes this the most frustrating is that most of this accumulation and disrepair happened during that year. I basically said to myself, ‘I’m going to be single forever, so why do I bust my hump to keep everything so tidy? Let it go!’ And I did. Until then, I kept everything in fairly organized locations and, while I recognized I was a packrat, I used a variety of methods not to be overwhelmed by the quantity of stuff I owned and continued to accumulate.

In just that one year “off” all that organization was destroyed. So, now it is days until I pick her up at the airport and I feel like I am still so far behind. I do not feel like she will be seeing the “real me”—the one that has kept things fairly neat and tidy for most of my life, and she will be overwhelmed by the “me” that came about in that one off year.

I am now basically down to needing to clean the bar top in the kitchen, finish tidying the front-room book case, clean one of the bedroom book cases, and clear the donate-worthy items out of the kitchen. I feel like the place will be close to what I want her to see after I complete those tasks (along with the generic vacuuming and dusting that needs constant attention).

I have all of that to do tonight and Thursday evenings (after 8 pm), because I pick her up from LAX Friday evening. Wednesday evening is bowling night, so I can only get minimal cleaning done then. Well, at least, not without seriously bothering my neighbors, which I try not to do.

The end result of this will be refreshing. My apartment already feels a little bigger having so much stuff gone. It will be easier to maintain and I have plans in place for all the incoming stuff as well. Plus, hopefully the future holds a move by one (me to Canada) or both of us (to a bigger place together). At which time the cleaning I do now will be even more beneficial, as I will not have as much stuff to go through or get rid of before I go.

Miles to go before I sleep!

A Driving Plea

The way people drive and the large number of accidents and near-accidents I see on a daily basis has had me thinking about why this is—and I believe the missing component is concern for other people.

When people get behind the steering wheel of a vehicle they become megalomaniacal egoists. Nothing can hurt them, it is all about them and their needs, and everyone else on the road is an impediment to their ability to get somewhere.

However, if you look at the rules of the road more closely, and even the make-up of your car, you will start to notice that most of the rules are not about you—they are about the other people on the road. Nearly everything about driving is about watching out for, being careful around, and paying attention to the other drivers, pedestrians, bicyclists, and others on the road with you.

All right-of-way, lane change, and similar actions involve “flow of traffic” rules that are designed to ensure that you know what the other drivers around you are doing before you do something. This is to make sure that your actions do not surprise anyone else on the road. Turn signals are designed to alert those around you to your desire to change lanes, and the reason the driving manual suggests you turn it on for at least 5 seconds before turning or changing lanes is so that those around you have plenty of opportunity to notice it and react accordingly. Turn signals are NOT designed for you to use halfway after you have crossed the white line, cutting off the flow of traffic in the next lane, to tell people what they have already figured out and have had to react to.

Matter of fact, nearly every light on the outside of your vehicle is designed to allow others to see YOU and figure out what you are doing—not to let YOU see better. Driving lights, turn signals, backing and break lights all tell others what you are doing or where you are on the road. Even your headlights have that as a dual-purpose with allowing you to see well. As a friend of mine once said in reference to the twilight hours in the morning and the evening, “Just because you can see me doesn’t mean that I can see you. Put on your damn headlights!”

My main problem with people drinking, eating, putting on make-up, reading, and talking on the cell phone while driving is that it makes the person less conscious of what is going on around them. It interferes with their ability to pay attention to the road, the other drivers, and other people sharing the space around them. It is, once again, all about them. Now, not only do they have some place to be, but they have something else they must do while they get there. Who has time to pay attention to the jogger on the side of the road? I’ve got to turn! Oops, that’s my exit, I better get across these three lanes of traffic as fast as possible—they’ll make room for me.

Consider this a plea—the next time you get behind the wheel, try paying more attention to those around you. Leave plenty of space, drive with the flow of traffic, and be conscious that others may not be able to figure out what you intend to do without some clues. Use your turn signals, pay attention to the flow of traffic, and try to be a team player. I think you’ll be surprised that you get where you are going just as quickly and with a lot less trouble and consternation along the way.

Remember, there is only one of you. But your actions could affect dozens, hundreds, even thousands of other commuters on the same road. Pay attention!

Bowling Update

I’m not saying it was the shirt, but the team went 3-1 and bowled well.

The shirt in question is the “Lucky Strikers” bowling shirt that M got me for Christmas. I finally managed to wear it to bowling. The team seemed to right the ship and finally had another winning week.

Arvin had a near-200 (186 – 40 pins above average) second game which was instrumental to our winning it. Tai followed that with a near-200 (194 – 50 pins above average) that definitely won us the third game. Those two great scores, combined with an average night from Jean and a slightly above average night from me (189, 221, 177), allowed us to squeak out the victory.

It will be nice when Tai, Arvin, and I all have a 200 game during the same game. And I’m still hoping that Tai can pull out the 550 series—he will shave his head if he does!

So, I think it wise to wash the Lucky Strikers shirt and have it ready for next week. Seems like the right thing to do.

Shaving Solutions

I shave me head. Anyone who reads this blog regularly knows this. The act of shaving my head has evolved quite a bit since I began doing it, about 4-5 years ago.

It started as an unpracticed mess. It took me forever to do. I quickly learned that I needed to cut off all the existing hair as short as possible before breaking out the Bic. And then I quickly learned that Bic was not the way to go! Soon I was researching new head shaving systems, looking and reading online for other’s opinions and practices. I quickly latched onto Headblade as a pretty nice way to shave, but that still wasn’t smooth enough. Some days I had razor burn so bad I was somewhat embarrassed to go to work. But I persevered.

When I visited M in Canada for the first time, she was excited because Dom, a local barber, still performed traditional straight-razor shaves and she knew I was very interested in that. She was thrilled to take me there and was very pleased with how happy I was with the result. During the shave, Dom let slip one of his secrets: American Crew Shaving Oil. After heating and wetting the area, he covers the skin with this thick oil before applying the warm shaving cream. The oil, as he said, “helps the blade glide over the skin.” If the blade is gliding, it is cutting better and the chance for razor burn is reduced. A-ha!

Upon returning home, I tried to mimic the same results using my Gillette Mach 3 and Johnson & Johnson’s Baby Oil. Overall a favorable response, so I continued to shave my head (and beard) using this system until I returned to Canada.

M had, in the meantime, procured the American Crew oil (and after shave) and gave it to me for Christmas. I also went back to Dom (who, in the tradition of good Italian barbers, remember who I was instantly) and got my head shaved again.

Since returning from Canada, I have shaved my head three times, each time using the American Crew oil. The difference between these shaves and what I achieved even with the Baby Oil is marked.

This morning I performed the ritual again. I prefer to shave my head during my morning shower, as the hot water and steam seem to help things. (I know of only a few men who shave their head outside of a shower). This morning the ritual went like this:

• Thoroughly wet head and massage scalp in hot water.
• Apply 5 drops of American Crew oil to hand and then massage into scalp (trust me, 5 drops will cover).
• Re-wet and massage scalp in hot water, “activating” the oil (Dom’s word, not mine).
• Apply shaving cream liberally.
• Use Headblade razor first to get the bulk of the hair off my head. Use long, smooth strokes with this razor.
• Use Mach 3 blade to finish up and do any against the grain type of strokes to “fine tune” the shave. Use shorter strokes and use your off hand to stretch the scalp around the area you are shaving to get every last hair you can.
• Rinse thoroughly.
• Wash head with soap, feeling for any missed spots.
• Use Mach 3 on soapy head to shave missed spots and “clean up” the shave job. Stretch skin as needed.
• Rinse thoroughly.
• Pat dry head and then apply after shave lotion to sooth and moisturize shaved region.

My head is smooth today. This is the best job I have done shaving my head, ever. You can rub your finger forward and backward on my head and feel barely any stubble at all, even after nearly a full day’s growth between shaving and writing this. I wasn’t even using new blades in either razor today. With the oil on the head and using safety razors, it is virtually impossible to cut myself, although accidents can still happen if I get careless (none today).

I think I have finally found the key to successful shaves. It takes time to do, but the result is exactly what I want. I highly recommend a similar routine for anyone who shaves their head—or any other body part, for that matter. The difference the oil makes is huge.

Superman Returns... I Hope

I was writing, in my spare time, something about the resonance of Superman in today's world. The fact that Superman is a "Boy Scout" and has ideals from a bygone age is part of what makes him so relevant in today's society of angst, anger, pessimism, and ADD.

I found this article relating to Bryan Singer's new Superman movie, Superman Returns. It touched on just those very thoughts and gives me hope that his movie will properly pay homage to Superman's roots as well as reinvigorate him for today's audiences.

Article

Of course, I'm always hopeful. But Singer didn't let us down with X-Men or X-Men 2, so I trust his feel for the character will make a great movie.

Or, rather, I keep hoping. ;-D

Another Funny Quiz

Your Love Element Is Earth

In love, you have consistency and integrity. For you, love is all about staying grounded and centered. You attract others with your zest for life and experiences. Your flirting style is defined by setting the scene, creating a unique moment in time. Steady progress and stability are the cornerstones of your love life. You may take things too slowly, but you never put your heart at risk. You connect best with: Fire Avoid: Wood You and another Earth element: need each other too much to build a good foundation

What Element Is Your Love?

La Nina

It appears that we are shifting toward a La Nina condition on this coast, which means we will have a mild, dry winter.

Looks like M may get her wish of having a 70 degree (F) winter when she visits.

This is great news for her, but, as I recall, the last time we had a La Nina it led us into a drought cycle in So Cal from which we are only now recovering. People forget that we are a desert and rely on a lot of rain in the Sierras and Rockies and elsewhere to provide us with the water we need. A dry and warm winter is not what we need to stock our water tables.

It amuses me to think of the vast differences in climate between here and M's area. They are so much wetter, colder, and driven by weather than are we. They have to have actually different wardrobes for different weather conditions. We have one wardrobe, for warm weather, and a few accessories for the times it is wetter, a little colder, or windy. They average 4 inches of precipitation every month and 6 inches during the winter. We average under 1 inch of precipitation most months and up to around 3 inches during the winter. Their hottest months are cooler than some of our colder months. And their coldest months are a good 25 degrees colder than our coldest months.

I think some adjustments are in order for whomever moves. *smiles

Sick

One problem with having a girlfriend in an environment and location that is so much different from mine is that I got very sick after leaving there and returning.

First, most of her family was pretty darn sick and many of her friends were unwell too. So all the visiting exposed me to more illness than I would normally see. Second, her location was averaging about 30-40 degrees colder than where I am. Leaving 70s for 20-30 degree weather and then coming back has been a huge shock to the system.

Lastly, I'm sure some of the illness is simply from leaving a happy environment and being back alone in my apartment. I miss her. Going from actually seeing her every day for two full weeks to chatting via the interweb is hard. It takes an emotional toll that we are both feeling.

So, I am working from home today after having been home not working yesterday and sick over the weekend. Fever, sore throat, headache, digestive issues, coughing, sneezing, stuffy head (which I rarely get!), and alternately sleeping too much and not enough. My poor suppressed immune system is struggling to overcome the cocktail of illness I ran afoul of while up in Canada. At least I was well enough on Sunday to go to the store and restock my meager supplies so I have plenty of beverages to drink.

Hopefully she won't experience the same thing coming here in February. She will be leaving even worse weather and coming to our So Cal weather and back in a week. It may hit her just as hard upon her return!

Coming Home

So, I am “home.” I am not happy about it. If home is where the heart is, then I did not come home—I left it. I enjoy my time with M so much that coming back is more of a responsibility than anything else.

I arrived to a pile of bills that needed payment, a cat that was upset that I haven’t been there for some time (even if Julie did a great job of keeping her fed and watered), rent being due, and a job that a) seems to have gotten along quite well without me and b) I slid back into without even a hiccup.

That frustrates me the most. That I sit down at my desk, turn on my PC for work, and the calls, emails, and visits by people needing my help start up as though I haven’t even been gone.

The builds that need documentation continue. The alerts for those builds keep coming. The updates to the existing documents and help files keep flowing in. They do not seem to care that I want to be in Canada. They do not care that my head is not in the game yet or that I am still thinking like it is 4 hours ahead.

One of my favorite quotes is “We kill ourselves a little each day with the things we deny ourselves.” I have 29 more days to survive until M arrives here for her first visit. IM, phone calls, emails, and the like are a poor substitute for being together.

We knew it would be difficult to start this long-distance relationship. We did our best to talk ourselves out of it on many occasions and in many ways. But everything just seemed so right, that we kept going anyway. Tucson and Halloween only cemented our desire to be together. Now it is just a matter of time before hard decisions and difficult choices need to be made.

Once I get settled back at work, it is time to talk to HR, my boss, and the ARAG legal group about immigration/emigration (so we are covered no matter who goes where), working issues, and related.

2006 is going to be a very interesting year.

Last Full Day

Well, today is my last day here. Tomorrow I get on a plane and head back to sunny So Cal.

*sigh

I don't want to go. I am happy here, even with the mind-numbing cold and the extreme (to me) weather.

*another sigh

The good news is that M is coming to see me in a month. She arrives Feb 3 and is staying a week. During that time, we need to make the rounds to my friends (hopefully a Super Bowl Party?), out to the desert to see my mom and dad, and then into LA for some touristy stuff-- she's never been to So Cal before.

All that will be fun, and I look forward to it, but I am not looking forward to going back to Blue Calisto and Purple Benguit Frisky on IM.

I like Saint John, I like M's friends and family, and I enjoy being here. Of course, this also means that M and I need to take a hard look at things and start making some serious decisions once she has experienced So Cal. We can't keep this extremely long distance relationship going indefinitely, nor would we want to. The point in the end is being together.

2005 wound up being a good year, even if it started with a lot of illness and malaise. I met the girl of my dreams, I have grown and found new successes at work, and I have made positive changes in my life.

It looks like 2006 will be filled with even more challenges, changes, and growth opportunities! Dammit, I'm tired of growing and changing. ;-)

Let's see...

Got the shelf up, after much trial and patience. Thank goodness M's dad works close by and had a hacksaw to borrow. M seems to like the shelf. I have proved my handiwork capabilities (insert manly grunt here). It's even surprisingly level. Now I have to get the shelf that was in that closet installed in the basement bedroom closet. And I still have doors to hang. And a toychest to finish... and....

It's a good thing I love my girlfriend, otherwise I might think she's just using me for home improvement and repairs! ;-)

Last night I had a blast with T-L/Van and M at a Sea Dogs game (ice hockey). T-L and Van were nice enough to answer my many questions about hockey, and the local team won, so all was good. Oh, and we went to Vito's prior-- man I like their lasagna! Yum!

Tonight is a retirement party (brief appearance), dinner with my girl at Suwanna, and then the late show at the movies (The Producers). Friday is, I think, mostly free again. Then the New Years party on Saturday. And then leaving on Tuesday.

I'm already feeling some melancholia creeping in... I do not want to go. I like being here, I like being with my girl. The good thing is that it is only exactly one month between when I leave here (Jan 3) and when she arrives there (Feb 3) for her first visit to So Cal.

I know she'll hate the tiny apartment I live in, she'll dislike the cat hair, she'll hate the traffic and crowds, but she'll love the weather, love the shopping, and love being with me again.

And then I can show off my honey to all my friends and (most of my) family!

Arthritis

The only negative I have experienced while up here is a flare-up of my arthritis in, of all places, my thumbs. First my left thumb became virtually unusable due to swelling and pain, and then my right thumb started up right as the left one started to heal. Right now, my left thumb is mostly fine, but my right thumb is swollen, hurts really bad, and I can't use it hardly at all.

Not being able to use your thumbs really shows you why human beings climbed up the ladder as dominant species on this planet. There are so many simple things you can't do when you can't use or put any pressure on your opposable thumbs.

Hopefully the right will heal as quickly as the left. I've got more chores that need doing!

;-)

Update - Boxing Day (Dec 26)

Right thumb starting to come around. I have about 50% usage of it and it seems to be getting better hourly. Wahoo!

It can be a bit frustrating not to be able to trust your body at times. At least I have an understanding girlfriend, who realizes I'm not doing it "on purpose" or trying to shirk my chores.

Snow! Part Deux and Xmas Morning

Apparently the snow we had two days ago was not "good enough" for me to play in or make a snowman. In CA, we cannot be as picky about the snow we have, and must make due with whatever falls to the ground before it melts.

Here in Canada, like the Eskimos, they have many different types of snows. The snow two days ago was too light and didn't pack well. Yesterday's snow, however, was wetter and better to pack.

So I finally got released to play in the snow!! I had to beg and cajole, but M finally bundled me up in my warm clothes, found me a pair of snow pants that fit, and out we went.

Glorious!

We made a snowman that was about 4 feet tall, with a big nose and three mohawks for hair.



We then made snow angels in the backyard, went for a walk up to the school at the top of the hill, and then I shoveled snow off the back porch and front walk. One thing I did learn, walking, playing, and shoveling snow is tiring.

But what fun! *happy dance

Her brother came over and we then went to a get-together with M's mom's side of the family. I hoped, and M feared, that her mom would show, but she never did. But the rest of her family was nice and amiable.

Today is Christmas and we got up and opened our gifts to each other. I did manage to surprise her a little, about which she was worried (to her, the surprise is the important part-- I just like ripping open packages). She got me incredibly thoughtful and nice gifts, and reacted very positively to the gifts I brought for her.

Her younger brother showed up after that (so the after gift opening necking had to be put on hold), and I made breakfast for everyone and then he opened his gifts and M opened some family gifts. They are currently off visiting with their grandfather on their mom's side.

We are gearing up for cooking Christmas dinner for her father, grandfather, brother, and us. I've only done a turkey once before on my own and have helped my mom on occasion. But that is my task for today. M will prepare the mashed potatoes and veggies.

Good times. I'm happy I'm here.

Although, in the back of my mind, I wonder about Julie-- the woman who is taking care of my cat. I emailed her asking how it is going and I have not heard anything.

Snow!

This is what M's Front and back yards looked like yesterday:


(sorry, the one got rotated and doesn't want to rotate back)

This is what M's front and back yards look like at 9am this morning:





The Weather Channel says 5 cm of accumulation today.

You can't imagine the smile on my face seeing real snow and real snow fall! Remind me of this glee in a few days when I blog about how miserably cold and wet I am.

Couch... from Hell!

I have never been a napper. Even as a small child, when the kindergarten or first grade teachers would schedule a nap, I didn't nap. I sat or laid quietly, or read, or played until the others were done. The only time in my life I have ever napped is when sick.

M has a couch. This couch, or demon spawn, whatever, has this weird pull on me. Tuesday, after arriving and M going back to work, I sat on the couch. Next thing I knew, she was arriving home. Then Wednesday, I sat down there to wait for her to come home because I knew we were heading off to her father's for dinner... and she startled me awake when she opened the door!

Now, granted, both days I was pretty tired from the traveling and the getting used to the time change. Yesterday I also had a pretty bad headache.

Today, however, I feel well-rested, in full grasp of all my faculties, healthy and happy. I decided I was done with my chores for the day and that I would go out and either read a little or watch some TV. I sat down on the couch, feeling just fine thank-you-very-much, and I almost immediately start nodding off, like I'm some senior citizen in the rec room as Murder, She Wrote comes on, or like Dorothy traipsing through the poppy fields. This couch is a powerful, deep magic-- wise to the ways of sleep and its pull is strong!

I have determined for the rest of my stay here I should not sit on that couch unattended. I obviously need a chaperone to survive its deadly, irresistible pull!

Hmmm... I wonder if this is the couch that traps Andy Capp and Dagwood in all those cartoon strips?

It is evil, I tell you; evil!

Dehydration and Slave Labor!

Ok, the thing I'm having some trouble with is the dehydration. I'm in a colder place, I'm staying indoors for the most part, and yet I am even more dehydrated than in the desert, where I am habitually dehydrated. What gives?

I recognize that the fire/stove is producing a different kind of heat than I am used to and is very drying, but I spend most of my time upstairs.

It got so bad this morning that shortly after M left for work, I got a nose bleed! Sheesh. Glad it cleared up before her dad stopped by-- he might have thought I was being abused! ;-)

Anyway, note to self: drink a LOT more liquids.

Seem to be making decent headway with my Honey-do list. As I am on vacation and don't want to rush through anything, I am not hitting it as hard as I could, spending some time reading, watching TV, and just relaxing between chores. M seems happy with the quantity and quality of work so far, so I guess I'm pacing myself well. Then again, maybe she's chafing to add even more stuff to the list!

I already feel my legs and butt responding to the staircase. What with tending the fire and having to visit the stock room fairly often for things (both related to my chores and for general goods/needs), my legs are getting a workout! Plus, M’s home is so much bigger than my dinky apartment. The sheer fact that it is more than 10 steps to everything (as it is in my apartment), means I’m getting more exercise!

We had dinner with M’s dad, grandfather, and some distant relatives last night. Good stuff. I ate some salmon, which was ok (not really a fish person), and talked hunting. I bet my dad would really love to talk rifles and hunting with M’s family. I used to hunt, and was actually quite good at it back then, but never really had the desire to pursue it. I know that irritated my father a bit, as it was something we shared and could bond over. Plus, he recognized I had some innate talent in shooting that I know he wanted to cultivate (he is an award-winning shooter and helps run the range on the Marine Corps Base). But that just wasn’t for me, really. I do still own some guns and do like to take them out to the range on occasion, but it is not the passion for me that it is for him.

After dinner, M and I managed to manhandle the Christmas tree into the house and up on the base. It is even mostly straight. Tonight we plan to decorate it and get set up for the Christmas party tomorrow. Should be fun as I haven’t decorated a tree in… 10 years? Maybe longer. My sister was always the one who really liked the decorating. Mom and I were a bit less enthusiastic, so, once sister left home, we didn’t make nearly the big deal that sister did. Of course, if sister would visit us at Christmas, I’m sure we would break out the bulbs and lights! (Sorry, sis, I seem to have a hint stuck in my throat!)

This has been a great start to the vacation. I look forward to the change of pace that is forthcoming, where we visit with friends and family over the holidays. But I’ll admit—I think my favorite moments are the quiet ones alone with M, just curled up on the couch watching a movie.

Yes, I know I’m a sappy SOB. Deal with it! ;-)

Monster

Since I don't drink coffee at all, let alone Starbucks, and I know of no corn fields around which I can lurk, I think the results are somewhat suspect. But good for a laugh.

Your Monster Profile

Twisted Hunter You Feast On: Starbucks You Lurk Around In: Corn Fields You Especially Like to Torment: Crybabies

What's Your Monster Name?

Made it...

I am on the cold, ice-covered ground. I am at M's house and unpacked.

The first flight wound up being ok, all things considered (I was flying, after all!). We were pretty late arriving, though, landing at 6:49 am when we were scheduled to land at 6:11. Had some people's luggage make the flight without the people. So off their luggage had to go! My just-over-an-hour-to-clear-customs-and-make-my-connection had turned into about 30 minutes of frantic scurrying. However, being the "old pro" at it by now (yeah, right!) I actually helped a few people make it to the right area to take the tram to Terminal 1 (no one believes you have to go that far, and the wall through which you must walk to reach security looks like a dead end with a door in it). I was late enough that they weren't sure they would get my bags with me on the plane (but they did).

I also experienced my first blast of the Great White North as I stepped out of Terminal 2 to take the shuttle and slammed right into -9 celsius temperature. And there was this funny white stuff floating serenely to the ground. I tried to capture some for further analysis, but it refused all attempts by dissolving in my hand.

Needless to say, this stuff scared me and I put on my toque (thanx Mare) and zipped up my fleece jacket.

The last flight was ok, too, all things considered. There was really only one thing- my compatriot was fairly overweight and the plane and seats were small. I was more intimate with her than I cared to be. But that flight was only about 80 minutes long, so I just read the enRoute magazine. I'm not a big guy, I can handle that.

M's first comment as I made my way into the Saint John airport was, "You look cold!" I sort of collapsed into a hug with her and breathed a stuttering, "Yeah."

I managed to get some sleep on the first leg of the trip, so I don't feel as zoned as I did at Halloween. However, I've mostly been up since 7 am yesterday, it is 2 pm now, and I am feeling the stress of the flight and the anxiousness of wanting to be here disappear and a happy, tired calm has replaced it.

I'm with M and all is right with the world now.

(does happy dance, even though M hates when I do the happy dance!)

Waiting...

I'm all packed, just waiting for my ride to get here so we can head off to LAX.

Feel a bit better this time, as I've done it before. But still hate flying.

May not update this much while I'm gone, so Happy Christmas and New Year.

Idle Thoughts for a Friday

1. Will this day never end?

2. This has been the longest week on record.

3. Normally I would be starting my Xmas shopping this weekend. Instead of being primarily done with just a couple of nicknacks left to get.

4. I wish we had bowled on Wednesday rather than doing a makeup tomorrow-- I may need those three hours!

5. The guy in the parking lot of Albertsons at lunch has to know everyone thinks he's gay. You can't wear an open, plaid, flannel shirt over a t-shirt, with cut-off jeans shorts (that are way too short), and steel-toed work boots with white socks without having everyone's "gay" stereotype alert go off. From the looks of others in that parking lot, I wasn't the only one thinking that.

6. Should have sold my company stock two months ago, when it was worth $4k more than it is now. *sigh

7. It is going to be so freaking cold in Canada-- colder than any cold I've ever been in.

8. I hope M realizes I'm trying. This is not my favorite time of year (understatement) and I'm not used to someone who actually cares about surprises or expects them.

9. Why is Kermit the Frog riding a bike and singing "Rainbow Connection" stuck in my head? It's not like I've seen The Muppet Movie recently!

10. I want to see King Kong, but 3 hours? The LotR movies were worth 3 hours (plus). Not sure King Kong is.

Candy Cane Tootsie Pops

Renee, my boss, brought in a bag of Candy Cane Tootsie Pops. They are peppermint candy cane flavored/textured coating surrounding the usual Tootsie Roll center of all Tootsie Pops. I was hesitant to try them, at first, but her coaxing and my sweet tooth won out and I had one.

I am now seriously considering buying her a new bag of them before the Holiday treat is gone because I have had so many of them! The mixture of the mint and the chocolate is quite tasty. Plus, the peppermint flavor just sort of makes me happy.

If you like mint and Tootsie Rolls (not everyone likes the chocolate flavor of a Tootsie Roll), I recommend you seek out a bag of these treats and try one.

Separation of Church and State

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

Above is the entire First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America. That’s it, folks. I have emphasized the part dealing with the concept of “separation of church and state” because, once again during this very Christian time of the year, we are hearing from Christian groups who just simply don’t get the separation of church and state issue and are trying to make it into something it isn’t.

In simple layman’s terms, the government cannot start or favor a religion and they cannot stop you from practicing any religion you want (unless that religion infringes on other rights granted in the Constitution or Bill of Rights). The framers of the Constitution did this because America was primarily founded by those fleeing religious persecution and the Founding Fathers didn’t want anyone in America subjected to that same persecution here. Remember that England, Spain, France, Russia, most of the Middle East, and many eastern countries were (and still are, in many cases) ruled by governments with direct ties to centralized religion or were officially considered Theocracies. For example, in the 1500s, the Church of England separated itself from the Roman Catholic Church and the King established himself as the church leader. People who practiced other religions (especially Roman Catholics) were legally persecuted for those practices and this helped lead to mass migration to the New World. The Middle East still has Theocracies ruling many nations or strongly religious majorities that persecute religious minorities—we’ve heard all about the acts of violence against the Kurds, women, Sunni’s, Shiites, and other religious groups through that region.

The simplest way to make sure our government does not establish a religion, give special treatment to one religion over all others, or stop you from practicing whatever religion you want, is to “separate” government from religion. Over time, this evolved into meaning that the government avoids religious doctrine, comment, displays, or anything else that could show favoritism or prejudice toward one religion over another.

I am granting that America is predominantly Christian. The statistics I can find indicate that somewhere around 80-85% of Americans fall within some form of Christian belief (but only about 60% are affiliated with an established religious group or church). And it is primarily Christians who are vocal about separation of church and state issues. I am also granting that a certain level of Christian doctrine has inculcated the society and shows up on our money, in our pledges and in our practices, and other parts of life. Actually, it is primarily because of this predominance by one religion that we need this Amendment and must enforce it with due diligence.

When most of these religious groups complain about something relating to separation of church and state, what they are really complaining about is that THEIR (Christian) religion should be allowed, and they forget about the wide range of minority religions in this country with very different beliefs, rites, and needs. When they argue that prayer should be allowed in school, for example, they mean Christian prayer. They forget that if prayer is allowed in school, that has to allow the Muslims to pray five times a day facing east, Wiccans should be allowed to perform their nature ceremonies (some of which can and do involve nudity), and other, non-Christian styles of praying. Of course, as long as you do not disrupt the environment or others with your prayer, there is no reason why you cannot pray in a public school now. You just cannot do it in an established way (which would promote your religion), during official school time (but you could prior to, after, or during the various breaks between classes), or in a way that infringes on someone else’s religious freedoms. I am not even speaking to non-religious people’s rights to avoid seeing religion altogether.

The phrase “Happy Holidays” is an inclusive statement. It includes those who are celebrating Ramadan, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and other religious rites that fall during this period. “Merry Christmas” is not inclusive—it only serves those of a Christian faith. A privately owned company can feel free to have a “Christmas Party” and to put a “Merry Christmas” banner up; however, most companies do not want to limit themselves like that. Most businesses WANT to be more inclusive to their employees and their patrons—and “Happy Holidays” banners and “Holiday Parties” allow for more inclusion—and more sales/business.

By separating the Church from the State, our government lets all of its people practice their religion, no matter what it is. By staying out of the religion business, our government keeps from showing favoritism toward any one religion which lowers the chances of religious persecution for people who don’t practice that religion. It avoids the situations that have evolved in other countries where a religious majority has killed religious minorities, seized their assets, and otherwise driven those religions out or into hiding. It also provides for the maximum religious freedoms for the maximum number of people.

The next time you hear someone expounding on the problems caused by separation of church and state in this country stop and ask yourself: What does that person really want? Who is he serving? Is he being inclusive or exclusive of other ideologies and religions? Is he allowing for the greatest freedom for the greatest number of people?

Whenever someone argues to end the separation of church and state in this country, they are really advocating the advent of formalized religious persecution by the Christian majority over all other religions (and those who are nonreligious). It is a dangerous path, and one against which we must fight, using, first and foremost, the other rights granted in the First Amendment—freedom of speech to point out this grievance, freedom of assembly to speak about and call attention to the situation, and redress the government for grievances against other religions and people, as they happen.

The Chronicles of Narnia

‘The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe’ is one of my all-time favorite novels. I have a tradition of reading it before Christmas every year, with a bowl of ice cream and preferably in front of a warm fire. Where many of my friends looked to the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, I was a Narnia fan.

To say I was nervous about a live-action movie being made of this book is an understatement.

I loved it.

There were some things I would have done very differently, had I been in charge. But I think that is true of any fan of any book being made into a movie. In this case, like in Lord of the Rings, the movie makers felt they needed to change things to speed up the storytelling in certain areas, yet overly extended other scenes to lend more drama to the story. However, they managed to maintain the feeling and the intent of the story throughout. And some of the changes felt like ones made for more sophisticated audiences; as though the filmmakers felt that children today would be able to understand and follow along better than in the book, so they could skip some of the story.

Now, as with the LotR movies, there are some things to quibble over. The beginning feels a little long, not much, but just a little. There is a little in the middle that could have been trimmed or re-edited to be a shorter for the movie audience. A few of the important lessons from the novel were lost or minimized for the movie.

However, the overall movie stays on topic and has the same feeling to it that I get from the book. I am reminded a great deal of the book and movie for Jaws. The book and movie are very different, but equally good, with the movie maintaining the same feel and dread but getting there through different means.

Now, to specifics: This movie is for kids, but it is played for realism, so some smaller children may be upset by some of the more violent fight scenes or scared by the White Witch’s evil. I think it would be safe for 8 and up, but wouldn’t take younger children. The acting is pretty good throughout, with Tilda Swinton eating up scenery as the White Witch; she alternates between being beautiful and wicked, warm and cold, fawning and harsh with ease. The voice actors chosen for the characters are very good and convincing. My only disappointment was that I felt Aslan’s voice didn’t have the majesty I would have preferred. Liam Neeson does a serviceable job, but I expected more from Aslan.

The movie has a similar feel to it as the LotR movies, or Harry Potter, without being as dark or foreboding as either of those series. The effects are good throughout, but adults will see the CGI on the animals—children will likely not notice or care. Children will be enamored of the story and I think the movie could act as a nice lead-in to reading the books. Oh, and there is a surprisingly good song over the credits by Alannis Morissette that I thoroughly enjoyed. By the way, sit through the first 2 minutes of the credits, as there is a little tie-me-up right after the initial scroll of actors. After this, there are no other special credit scenes (sat through them until the end, as I do with most movies).

As to the “religious overtones;” if you’ve read the book, you know that you have to stretch pretty far to see Lewis’s Christianity in the book. To sum up the entire Christian themes in the movie: there are some allegorical similarities between Aslan and Jesus and the children are referred to as “Sons of Adam” and “Daughters of Eve.” Oh, and Santa Claus makes an appearance, but he’s only recently been co-opted by Christianity, so I don’t think that should count. You will only really see the Christianity if you want to, so don’t let any of the advertising that is skewing religious turn you off from what is a rousing story of good versus evil in a land where animals talk.

I will likely see this movie again, and will certainly buy it on DVD.

New Drug

I don't know who came up with this idea, but I think they should get Merck started on it right away!

Of course, I'm sure some people would say that the drug already exists, in various forms.

USPS

I have been a little irritated with the US Postal Service this past week. They claim they tried to deliver a package to me at midnight on December 1, which simply isn’t true. They actually made the first attempt to deliver the package on the 6th during the day. I left a note asking them to deliver it to the front office of the apartment on Wednesday. I got a note back saying they could not because the office was closed—which just isn’t true. There is supposed to always be someone in the office for just this sort of thing. Unless the PO was trying to deliver the package after 6:30 pm, there was someone there.

Anyway, this package contains the two gifts I got for my group’s secret santa party and gift exchange, so I really need the loot. I went online and was able to find a Redelivery option on the USPS site. I put in the tracking number, my address and other info, and selected Saturday as my redelivery date.

How cool is that?

Now, rather than having to find the Post Office to which this package was sent, or take a day and work from home, I can have them redeliver the package on a day convenient to me. True, until it arrives, I have to hang our around the apartment all day on Saturday, but that is no hardship. I need to work around the place anyway.

The cynic in me thinks I will be posting a follow-up message on Sunday morning about how I still don’t have the package and where the hell is it, but, until that time, I’m happy with my online experience with the Post Office.

Decisions, Decisions

“Give ‘Em Hell” Harry Truman knew that a President has to make a decision and move forward. He made one of the most monumental decisions ever made by anyone—dropping nuclear weapons on Japan. He felt that the “shock and awe” of that much power released on two cities in a short period of time would devastate the seemingly implacable will of the Japanese to continue the World War even as their allies fell around them. He felt that those bombs would actually save many more lives, both Japanese and American, which would otherwise be lost in a needless invasion of the Japanese homeland. He was certain that the Japanese, a proud people, would fight the Americans on every street corner and even women and children would die to protect their leader.

He had many times when he questioned that decision later in life. It is a devastating thing to issue an order to kill thousands of people in two nuclear fireballs. Being a human being, and a very rational and intelligent man, I am certain that, if any other option presented itself to him that would achieve the same decisive end with less loss of life, he would have taken it. But Americans insisted on a clear victory and Japan, it was felt at the time, needed to be broken entirely so that they would not become like Germany before them—ripe for another war once they recovered from the first. So the bombs dropped and the World War ended.

After September 11, Americans needed someone to attack. We needed retribution for the 3,000 lives lost. Evidence pointed to a group most Americans had not heard of, al Queda, and we knew they were holed up in Afghanistan. So we formed a strategy, went to Afghanistan, and began to route the al Queda we found there. We liberated towns and seemed well on our way to freeing that nation from what appeared to be despotic control and unrest.

And then a funny thing happened. Suddenly there was tentative information pointing toward Iraq. Saddam Hussein’s name came up. His former atrocities were then brought into the conversations. “WMDs” were rumored. So we split our focus, did not finish the job in Afghanistan, and went after Saddam. I am sure our President had some doubts. He knew fighting rebels in Afghanistan was very different from fighting the actual military and insurgents in Iraq. But, a little like Truman before him, he made a decision and moved forward. We went to war in Iraq.

Now we are finding monumental evidence that the reasons we used to go to war with Iraq were, at best, misinformed and, at worst, fabricated or overblown. When our President had what appeared to be clear evidence to go to war, we went. The evidence was so good that most politicians, the media, and the people were firmly behind that decision. Now that we have even stronger, more compelling evidence that this war is unjustified, people are questioning the action. The media and the people want to change our course based on this new evidence.

It is important that our President act in an equally decisive a manner based on this new evidence. I am not saying we should pull out entirely, as we have created a mess that will be hard to clean up for those left behind. But we should start working on it, training the Iraqis to fend for themselves, create strong diplomatic and economic ties with the country to help them prosper after the devastation of war, and we should start to get our people out of harm’s way. We need our President to present the people with a decisive withdrawal plan.

Or, to put it another way, we each try to make decisions based on the evidence we are given in our own lives. Although we rarely have to make decisions that involve such weighty matters as the deaths of thousands, the decisions do profoundly affect our lives and how we live them. When the evidence upon which we based our decision proves false or the conclusions we drew from that evidence do not work as expected, we form a new plan, change directions to accommodate, and put that into action. Our President is not doing that. He is acting as though he is incapable of acknowledging that things have changed, that the initial plan needs revision, and that we need to go in new directions.

I truly believe that most people know and understand that plans change with new evidence, new opportunities, with failures, and with unexpected successes. People want a plan to follow and to know where they are headed, but they also want to see leadership smart enough to roll with changes, the failures and the successes, and make new plans accordingly. The people are still working toward the goal; they are just changing how they get there.

I do not judge the decision to go to war with al Queda. I do not judge the decision to go to war in Iraq. History will decide if it was right or wrong. I do question our “staying the course” when all signs point to danger on that course. I want my leadership to be intelligent and determined to do the best thing possible for our nation, even if that means acknowledging that a previous decision was wrong and changing our plans accordingly.

President Bush agonizes over the 2,000 lives lost in Iraq. I am certain of it. Having the deaths of so many resting on his decisions must be painful. But those types of decisions come with the position he sought. Unlike “Give ‘Em Hell” Harry, Bush appears to have many options and other courses available to him to keep from losing more American lives. He needs to start considering them. Or, if he truly believes we should “stay the course” as he and his cabinet have often said, then he needs to provide us with a rationale that contradicts or puts into proper perspective all the evidence that suggests ending the war is the better course now.

Bald Men, Unite!

Already this week, and it is only Wednesday, remember, I have had three separate incidences of people making a comment about my “follicly challenged” head. Now, I know I’m balding, I usually shave my head so that it is truly bald, and I have a good sense of humor about these things, but a few things stood out to me about these three incidents:

1. The people who made the comments barely know me and have no idea how I will receive such comments.
2. I have grown my hair some, enough that it is visible all over my head (well, where I have hair). At the moment I am definitely not “bald.”
3. Why is it still alright to make off the cuff remarks to bald men about something over which they have little to no control?

I am no prude. And I am anything but Politically Correct. I will not complain about their comments and I will give back as good as I get most days, as I did in each of these situations. It just seems strange to me that people I hardly know would feel it is perfectly okay to make a comment about someone’s baldness in a public arena.

With all the reasons today for a person (of any sex) to be bald, it seems like society would move away from jokes and comments about baldness.

• At least half of the black men I know have bald heads, yet I never hear a bald joke thrown their way. Why is this? It is socially acceptable for black men to shave their heads or to be naturally bald. I shave my head, but I am not black, so I get comments.
• I see many youths who have partially or fully shaved heads and they rarely get razzed for it. Do I need piercings, tattoos, and to wear my pants so that my boxer-briefs are visible to everyone in order to make my baldness acceptable?
• I have friends and coworkers suffering through the deleterious effects of chemotherapy and who are suffering through temporary baldness because of the treatments. Two of these people are women, for whom there are additional stigmas for being bald. Why are they brave for showing their baldness while I am not? It is okay to be bald for external reasons, but not for genetic ones?
• Most men (and women) lose some amount of hair as they get older. I don’t see many comments made toward the aged about their baldness. Why do I get them just because I’m younger?

Culture, age (young or old), and medical conditions are all positive reasons to be bald, yet the natural process of balding itself is somehow a negative?

If you walk around making off the cuff comments or ribald jokes about a person’s sex, race, religion, or sexual proclivity/orientation, you can be sued for various forms of harassment. Even weight has become something of a no-no to discuss in open forums, although you do still hear the occasional comment. Yet baldness is still perfectly fine for people to comment on without invitation or any real fear of reprisal. Every other naturally occurring circumstance about which I see or hear people commenting (like people of unusual heights) are usually behind the back of the person in question. I only see baldness spoken right to the “afflicted” person.

I guess it is a good thing that most of us who are balding or bald have developed thick skins and a good sense of humor about it. We’ve had to!

Maybe the next time you are with your bald friend or coworker, you will think twice about making a comment concerning the glare, the reflective quality, or the egg-like cast of his (or her) head. First, we have heard it all before—you cannot come up with a new comment no matter how hard you try. Second, no matter how much we claim we do not mind it and no matter how much we give you a comment right back, it is one more straw on top of a lifetime of other straws. Maybe this finally will be one straw too many?

In the end, I guess it doesn’t matter. Everyone knows bald people are better lovers!

>;-)

(I told you we give as good as we get!)

Fear The Future

In my job, I have direct accountability. If I don’t do a good job, if I don’t make a deadline, if I have a poor or sour disposition, my boss and the HR department get involved and the repercussions can be as mild as an informal talking to or as severe as being fired and having an official demarcation entered into my work history for that company and could follow me to the next job when that company’s HR department calls for a background check.

I’ve only had three “Talking to’s” in my career. First, at XXXXXXX’s Photography where the owner wasn’t sure I was “invested” in the company. When I explained that I didn’t feel he was invested in me or cared what my opinions were, he agreed and our relationship improved.

At XXX, I got into an argument with my boss at the time, David, that ended up with a snotty email from me and a reprisal email from him that had the words “and possible termination” in it as a threat. I had already decided to leave at that point, since that man was (and still is) a cancer to everything he touched and drove multiple good, caring, intelligent people from the company. I didn’t need to bother; within a month or so, the two remaining people in the documentation department were both given their walking papers.

At my current job, my boss, Renee, noticed my lack of focus and enthusiasm for my work. She informally talked to me about my motivation and the things she and I could do to make sure I was focused and involved. We made plans to go in different directions. That was more of a friendly wake-up call, but it was important; I needed to hear it, and it was the first time as a boss she had to have that type of conversation. We both learned new things.

So, in the real world, there are generally immediate repercussions for poor behavior or work.

I hear from my mother and other educators about the constant need for “make up work” and the expectation by students that they can and should be able to turn in work that is overdue not by days but by weeks and even months in order to scrape by with passing grades now.

I read in the newspaper that Matt Millen had “trouble” firing his “friend” Steve Mariucci for the poor performance on the field of the Detroit Lions (the team I root for). It doesn’t matter that the team has been the worst in the league since Millen took over (yes, even worse than the expansion Houston Texans and other perennial cellar dwellers like Arizona!), that he’s hired his third coach (including Dick Jauron, who Millen replaced Mooch with today) in five seasons, and he has made some of the most questionable decisions (three wide receivers as your number one overall pick in a row?) as a GM of any in the league. Somehow, it is everyone else’s fault except his.

These situations lead me to this: if these students ask for the same concessions at work, in the business world for which they are obviously and woefully under prepared, they would be laughed at and fired on the spot. If Millen had the same track record for managing projects that he has managing a football team, he would have been fired 4 years ago, instead of getting a multi-million dollar, five-year extension.

In my mind, High School, and school in general at every level, is used to prepare students for the “real world.” Part of that real world is that you fail, get in over your head, and have repercussions for your actions (or inaction). That’s why No Child Left Behind is a joke and will, ultimately, be a dismal failure: children need to learn how to deal with failure earlier in life so they are prepared for it and learn coping mechanisms to keep them trying over and over again.

And all sports could use a better business model. Currently, fans don’t see accountability at any level of any sport. Jocks rule the roost. Those with the worst attitudes and the most detrimental activities seem to get the most money. The “good guys” do seem to finish last. And the decision makers who allow this lack of discipline and who fail to impose rules and regulations seem to flourish.

Throughout my life, I have nearly always learned more from my failures than from my successes. Having that talk with the owner of the photography studio taught me to express my needs. The argument with my boss at my first white-collar job taught me to be tactful and diplomatic. It also taught me things that are important to avoid in future jobs. That talk with my current boss taught me the value of exploring my likes and dislikes with my boss so we can work toward a better working environment where I (and, through me, my company) can succeed.

I fear that the coming generations will not learn these lessons. They have no coping mechanism in place for their failures. What will these kids do when they get out in the “real world” and these excuses just don’t cut it any more?

Life, or Something Like It

The linked article is about Lorenzo Neal, a fullback in the NFL. I was struck by the simplicity of this man. He understands what it takes to do his job, strives to be the best there is at that position, and seems to understand that he is blessed to do what he does.

I am often struck by people who just seem to "fit" into their lives. So many of us are struggling against something-- our work, our personal time, the clock, those significant in our lives. Whenever I see someone who just sort of "gets it," I take a moment. Most often, these characters are fictional (for example, Doc "Moonlight" Graham, from Field of Dreams-- "If I hadn't been a doctor. Ah, that would be the tragedy."). But occasionally I stumble on an article that shows that there are some people who can "fit" in the real world.

It strikes me that those who seek out the limelight, need to make the statement, are the ones who have something missing in their lives. A Terrell Owens may be one of the best receivers in the league, for example, but that hole he has where something is missing makes him seek out the attention and leads him to miss games, alienate those around him, and, ultimately, spend time at home rather than adding to his gaudy stats. Neal, on the other hand, has played nearly 200 straight games, goes about his business, and gets the job done. End of story.

I would rather know a hundred Neal-esque people than one Owens.


Even if you don't like American football, you might learn a little from reading about this man.

EDIT:

Found the article.

Last of a Dying Breed
Dan Pompei
Posted: November 22, 2005

Someday, after your hair has turned white, your spine has curved and your hearing has faded, the little child on your lap will ask, "Grandpa, what was a fullback?" 

And you'll have to think back and remember. "Well, Billy," you'll say slowly, "a fullback was a football player who blocked. He took pleasure in clearing a path for others to make big plays. He wasn't in it for the dancing. Or the money. Or the media. A lot of fans barely noticed him. Only the real students of the game even knew what the fullback really did. 

"They began dying off around the turn of the century, fullbacks did, replaced by hybrid backs, tight ends, H-backs and wide receivers. It became so hard to find a good one, NFL teams just said, 'To heck with fullbacks.' " 

Your memory isn't what it used to be, but you fish out a name. 

Lorenzo Neal. 

He was the fullback's fullback, the best blocker you ever saw. "He would rather knock a linebacker on his keister than take a handoff," you'll say. "He was the last of his kind." 

This is a day in his life.

_______________________

Four hours before the Bills kick off to the Chargers, Lorenzo Neal trots onto the field at an empty Qualcomm Stadium. Outside in the parking lots, the sights of bare chests and sandals and the smells of sunscreen and ground beef testify to the beauty of the day. Neal runs around the perimeter of the field eight times. He listens to gospel music by Kirk Franklin on his iPod. Later, as the game approaches, he will switch to some 50 Cent. 

If he is not ready to play by now, he never will be. He has been preparing for this game, for every game, since he first started playing fullback 20 years ago as a high school freshman in Lemoore, Calif. He went to Fresno State, just up the road from Lemoore, and was drafted in the fourth round by the Saints in 1993. He also played for the Jets, Buccaneers, Titans and Bengals before moving to San Diego in 2003. 

Neal takes pride in being more prepared than the next guy. It is what has enabled him to survive all these years while others like him have died off. His offseasons, he says, are 10 times more physically grueling than his seasons. 

There is conditioning and lifting with a personal trainer, everything from pulling cars to running hills. There is wrestling with college kids at Fresno State, where he was an All-American junior heavyweight. There is boxing with former middleweight champion Paul Vaden. There is even ultimate fighting with mixed martial artist Chuck "Iceman" Liddell. Neal is typically in the gym by 5 a.m., and he works out up to three times daily. 

"I know it makes the season easier," Neal says. "You might be a better athlete than me. You might be faster than me, stronger than me, but you're not going to outwork me. When guys are tired in the third and fourth quarter, I know what I've done to prepare for this."

________________________________

On the first play after the kickoff, Neal is assigned to clear out the Bills' middle linebacker on a power play. He finds London Fletcher and drives him backward, and LaDainian Tomlinson runs for 12 yards. 

Neal likes this play, but his favorite is the lead draw because of its isolation qualities. "Just me and the linebacker in the middle of the hole," he says. 

Many "modern" fullbacks prefer to dive at the knees of defenders. That isn't Neal's style, although he will throw a cut block when it makes sense. "If it's me and a linebacker, it's like, 'Dude, why should I cut you when I know I can take you down?' " he says. "I like to hit them in the mouth and say, 'Let's go.'" 

At 5-10, 255, he has the perfect size to get beneath the shoulder pads of most linebackers. Leverage is his game. Neal is known for leading with his forehead. "He has a great head for the position," Tomlinson says. "His head is huge." 

Neal's big melon, in fact, is the source of much levity in the Chargers' locker room. "That's my moneymaker," Neal says. Of all the running backs, quarterbacks, receivers, tight ends and defensive backs on the team, only Neal wears an extra-large helmet shell, according to equipment manager Bob Wick. The only linebacker who wears an extra-large shell is Shawne Merriman, who has 6 inches and nearly 20 pounds on Neal. 

Finding the linebacker on a lead draw reminds Neal of one of his hobbies -- "frogging," or frog hunting. Neal and friends, armed with a flashlight and a long three-pronged gig, will take out a boat well after dark.When they spot a bullfrog, they shine the light in its eyes, which freezes the amphibian. Next thing you know it's 3 a.m. back at Neal's house, and everyone is eating frog legs, potatoes and eggs.

___________________________

Neal kicks out into the flat on the first drive and catches a pass. Bills safety Troy Vincent comes up to make the tackle, and the collision is violent. Vincent's helmet flies one way, Vincent flies another, and his forehead is gashed open. "Got him good on that one," Neal says. 

Neal has forged a career and, indeed, an identity out of such collisions. The man becomes the player, then the position, then the task. Neal is a block. Though he never has officially been diagnosed with a concussion, he has experienced some of the symptoms. Last season, a Raiders player -- Neal still is not sure who -- hit him so hard he had to lie down on the field for a minute. 

"There are plays when you're hit, and it's like you get the flutters," he says. "You see stars. You've got that buzzzzzzzz. OK, that was a good one. You just try to breathe. It's happened thousands of times." 

Fullbacks such as Neal probably incur more big-impact hits than players at any position. Virtually every play for Neal is a battle of bighorns vying for the highest ground. 

He sees himself as a lineman with a lower number. "The only difference is I'm 5 yards deeper," he says. "And the linebacker is 5 yards deeper. So you have 10 yards of speed, compared with linemen who are 2 feet apart. The collisions are way harder. It's who's got the hardest head, who's going to quit first, who's going to fall apart first." 

Perhaps Neal's most impressive accomplishment is not falling apart. Despite tens of thousands of body crashes, he hasn't missed a game because of injury since 1993, his rookie season. He has played in 186 straight games, an accomplishment of Favre-ian proportions. He credits staying healthy to playing fast and the grace of God. 

It's not like he ever tries to save himself. "Lorenzo doesn't care about his body, about his own well-being," Dallas defensive tackle La'Roi Glover says. "He just goes out there and throws his body around." 

Remarkably, Neal has no major physical ailments. He has had one surgery, to repair a torn ankle ligament during his first pro year. What hurts 10 games into the season? "The bottom of my feet, from the cleats digging into my soles," he says. 

Things I have been wondering lately

Why is a Milky Way bar sold as a Mars bar in Canada? Are there other versions of a Milky Way sold to other countries?
Why do they make you take your laptop out of the case and then x-ray it at the airport?
Why does the President think Americans are so stupid as to still believe his lies? Isn’t his huge drop in the polls indicting we are getting wise to him? (don’t actually answer that—I know we’re stupid)
Why are stores already putting up Christmas decorations when it is not even Thanksgiving yet? We’ve skipped Thanksgiving and are having Halloween followed by Christmas this year.
Why does Matt Millen still have a job in Detroit? He has the worst record of any GM in the league during his tenure.
When will Susan Cooper’s incredible series, or at least the first book, Over Sea, Under Stone, but turned into a live-action movie? Incredible tale, and the first book is perfect for the “tween” audience.
If copper wires have a hard limit of 9600 baud, then how do DSL and higher-speed modems work? And don’t give me “compression”—that can only account for so much!
Why don’t more parents care about education? Why do so many parents assume that the teacher is wrong and their child is right, even when they themselves know their child to be duplicitous and disrespectful?
Why is America the only industrialized nation without some form of national health care?
Why does my memory have to fade?
Where will I be in a year?
Why was it always hard and shaky with the others and why is it so easy and comforting with M?
Will my immediate family (mom, dad, sister and each of our immediate families) ever sit down to a Thanksgiving together again?
Can the world survive three more years of President Bush’s policies?
Will people ever respect the work I do? I do a little more than “pretty up” a document.
If everything is made up of energy, and energy is never created nor destroyed, and our memory and consciousness is that energy in action, then why is it so hard to believe in ghosts?
Will I ever finish the cleaning project in my apartment?
When will people realize that they are not “wasting time” when they are driving—they should be watching out for their own safety and the safety of others on the road?
Will people go back to taking responsibility for themselves and their actions? Or is that dead forever?
Will the Narnia movie possibly live up to my hopes and expectations? LotR did, for the most part, but Narnia is more important to me than LotR.
Will M. Night Shyamalan ever make a non-gimmicked movie? I think he’d be good at it. Die Hard 4 (would re-team him with Bruce Willis).
Why did it take me so long to find a woman who would be honest with me?
Why does gay marriage scare the religious right so much?
Will work let me work from home from Canada permanently?
Will M like Irvine?
When will people get back to the heart of the matter and stop talking about the weather?
Why do we still use Daylight Savings Time today? And why isn’t it universal?
Will any product ever truly engage Microsoft?
Why do I sometimes smell peanut butter or dust when neither is in evidence?
How is it that light can be seen, but does not illuminate?

Bowling Update (11/16/05)

Well, as a team we bowled well, with Tai getting two 160 games and Arvin coming alive in the middle game with a 170 game and finished strong in the 150s. I managed a 248, my second highest score ever (and only my second 240 ever), and also managed back to back 600 series for the first time in league play. Jean was absent, and we couldn’t find a substitute for her, so we had to use a blind score.

But -- (and you could feel that coming) -- we went against a team that bowled out of their minds. In the first game, every member of the team bowled about 30 pins above their average. They cruised in the second, and we only just managed to beat them in the third game. We lost total pins by 50.

Oh, and we had an 84 pin handicap lead on the team that they very easily made up every game.

So, we went 1-3 tonight. At worst, we should be tied for first place in the league.

Still, I’m proud of how our team is doing. Tai got down on himself a bit in the second game, when he threw a gutter ball and then 4 more opens in a row, but he rallied in that game in the final frames and then followed it with a 168 (which could easily have been a 180, if a couple of pins fell for him). Arvin started slow, but came on strong. It’s fun to watch these younger guys respond and improve every week. And Jean’s just a hoot and a half to bowl with—seventy years young and going strong!

Is This Maturity?

I left to see M on Thursday, September 15. Because of this, I did not buy comic books that day (Thursday is my usual comic book day). When I returned from Tucson, I had a lot going on and did not buy comics that week, either (September 22).

I fully expected to jump back on my comic buying the following week (September 29). It would be easy to catch up on the two weeks I missed, get back into the swing of things, and continue the neverending soap opera that is the world of comic book heroes.

But I did not.

It is now November 16, and I look at the calendar and realize that tomorrow is “comic book day” and, instead, I have scheduled an evening of online game time with two friends, for which they would like me to get home as promptly as I can.

For those not initiated into the world of comic books, the companies publish most comic books monthly. They stagger the release of their titles so that something is released every week. So, for example, one week I might pick up Iron Man, Hulk, Batman, Justice League, and Wonder Woman, and the next week I would get Superman, Daredevil, Green Arrow, and Teen Titans. During the summer months, a comic may increase its release schedule to twice in one month. And, due to the pressures of the industry, sometimes a comic slips and comes out more like every 5 or 6 weeks.

So, as of this week, I have officially missed at least two issues of every comic I have been collecting since the mid-80s. And I have comics that go further back, to the mid- and early 70s when I was a kid saving my allowance and getting a comic at the local Kinney’s Drug (along with a cherry coke at the soda fountain).

I cannot tell you exactly how many comics I have in my collection. I have managed to catalog about 4,000 of them and am about 1/3 of the way done. It is so time consuming and takes so much room that I usually only get a couple hundred done (one or two boxes) before I am tired of doing it for that session. Or I find a lost gem and I open it and start reading and suddenly find that I’ve read 30 comics and have forgotten all about cataloging.

I have also picked up a few of my comics during this “dry spell” of two months and read those. I still enjoy reading the comics and can see myself falling back into the habit easily. I just have no current desire to do so.

Having a girlfriend has affected this decision to some degree. But she is certainly not the main reason, as she does not mind me reading or collecting comics. I think part of it may be age. Also it could be partly the movies/TV shows that are available now. City of Heroes and other games also assuage the heroic needs I feel. There are probably many other reasons of which I am not currently even conscious.

I have threatened to quit reading comics on multiple occasions. Sometimes it is over the “death” of a favorite character, or the cancellation of a favorite title, other times it is over a long run of just idiotic storylines and overall malaise in the industry. And, of course, the incredible rise in prices has limited my purchases even as my salary has increased. I have comics purchased in the 70s for $.15. I have a large run in the 80s of $.75 comics. The late 80s and early to mid-90s saw prices of $1.00 to $1.50. Now, most of my comics are in the $2.00 range for the same 22 pages of art and story, including ads. Many are more than $2.

Usually something comes along that grabs me back when I’m threatening to quit comics altogether. Neil Gaiman’s Sandman; the rebirth of a good Justice League title; the cool new direction of the Incredible Hulk; a special event or limited series that reinvigorates the medium (Kingdom Come, Dark Knight Returns, Watchmen, Ultimates); a favorite character returning or changing (Captain Atom, Firestorm).

The only other time I just stopped cold-turkey was when I was jobless. Since I had no income, I could not justify the weekly expense; simple economics. This is the first time I have ever stopped for no good reason.

I have no plans to give away, sell, or otherwise remove myself from my rather extensive library of comic books. But, as to right now, I see no reason to go back. Am I missing out? Sure. I have heard and read good things about Identity Crisis, and have many of the precursor stories. Will it be hard to look at my huge run of Hulk and Daredevil and not cringe a bit because I do not have the current issues? Yes. But I just do not have any desire to set foot back in Comics, Toons, and Toys and peruse the shelves for my latest titles. I feel no need to talk with Matt (the store owner) about the latest treasures and off-beat comics coming down the pike.

Is this what they call maturity? Have I grown up finally?